Adding a second, adult, male cat?!

[user1471548941]

So I’ve asked a similar question previously but things have developed and I’ve only ever had one cat so looking for multi- cat household experts.

I have a 6 year old rescue- a huge ginger boy who is kept indoors due to FIV, happily so as he’s very lazy. He is HIGHLY affectionate, always looking for cuddles and attention and very very attached to my husband who he treats basically like another cat… he always wants to sleep on husband etc, pounces on him for play etc etc! He is the apple of our eye, he absolutely knows it and LOVES it.

He’s been the cattery a few times and they have always told us he’s so friendly and sociable, very interested in the other cats and that we should consider getting him a playmate. Their suggestion was a kitten but this doesn’t work due to the FIV and not knowing whether the kitten would grow up to be happy indoors.

The rescue have now reached out to us- they have another adult male cat- slightly older, he’s 10- but with a very very similar story- long term stray, now needs to be indoors due to FIV and has turned into a complete cuddle monster after some initial mistrust of humans. They think he would happily live with another FIV positive cat.

I have always had cats but only ever one at a time! Does introducing one adult male to another (both neutered) sound a likely possibility to work? Have I seen enough indications from my boy that it’s likely to work?! I don’t want to fail a rescue, nor do I want my ginger boy’s quality of life to decrease- I’d be disappointed if it turns out they just “tolerate” each other- we are really only considering a second because we have a “hunch” that he might like a companion?!

Unsure how I go about making the decision so any wisdom would be appreciated!!!

Cat tax attached of my verrrry cuddly, daft baby!

You could try it (and I have friends who made it work) but ask the rescue if they will take him back after a few weeks if it doesn't work out. We reluctantly had to do that after trying (for months!) to broker peace between two adult female cats who had both previously tolerated other cats but just hated each other's guts.

Is your house big enough for two cats to go off and sulk alone if that's how they feel that day?

I had my sibling pair (boy & girl) indoor only cats for almost 8 years when Boycat developed CKD & had to be PTS. My biggest worry was that Girlcat would be alone all day every day while I'm at work, and she'd never been apart from her brother her whole life.

So I got another rescue within less than a month, a boy as it was suggested that 2 girls could be rather territorial & vie for senior cat much more than 2 boys or a mixed pair. He was a starving stray when they brought him in, and very wary of people though co-habited well with others at the rescue (mainly girls in his area).

He's been home around 3 months now, and though still very wary of me he and Girlcat are getting on very well. She sleeps in his room during the day, and they play a fair bit when he forgets I'm around or after I've gone to bed, and presumably while I'm out. They are sharing litter trays off & on, & often share each others wet food (dry down 24/7). She's definitely the boss in the relationship, but they both seem very happy together.

Could you suggest a foster to adopt arrangement? If it work out you keep him. It's definitely worth a try. Your boy is absolutely gorgeous!

Thank you all- glad it’s not 2 girls!

I like the idea of foster to adopt- we will chat to the rescue about this option!

I introduced another girl and it was fur from the minute I plonked the carrier down on the hall floor.

Hi. I hope it works out. You can never tell with cats. They are supposed to be solitary, but my friend had 5, all strays and they seemed to be ok with each other.
As for us, we tried it and it was a total disaster from the word go.
The kitten went back. There was a waiting list so he got a happy home.

Update! The rescue sent us a few photos and videos and we completely fell for his story! We have been talking about whether Flynn wants a friend for the best part of 18 months and ultimately won’t know the answer without trying it!

The boy in the rescue has been there 6 months and had no interest due to him being older and FIV+ (which ultimately doesn’t faze us). We decided that if any cat deserves a chance, it should be him and it’s not like there is a queue of people to take him home! The rescue understood our position and will help and guide introductions and understand he may need to go back if it really really doesn’t work.

Obviously Flynn’s happiness is key but there is another boy out there with a very similar story who also deserves a chance of a happy home so we are going to do everything we can for a positive introduction!

I introduced a second male cat when I already had one male and one female. My first male was also a big soft, ginger lad!
The new cat definitely made himself top cat and given that my ginger male was a big softy, he allowed it. There was some hissing and fighting early on but they all found their own place eventually.

It all depends on their personality; my current male cat is friendly with every cat he meets but my female is a real drama queen 😂 Introduce them slowly (Jackson Galaxy has some good advice on YouTube) and they’ll find their own way 😊

I got two girls from a rescue (sisters, inseparable used to cuddle up and sleep with their arms around each other), one died 2 years ago. Her sister became so needy and clingy and I was worried she was getting lonely.

So 6 months later I rescued a boy cat from the RSPCA (same place as my two girls), he's a massive clown and pain in the arse but he's like a living teddy bear, he curls up on my boobs it doesn't matter how I'm sat he'll sit on them.

I was told it would work as he isn't an Alpha male.

Update… my gorgeous baby ginger Flynn…. And Ian!!!!

Ian came home last weekend and after 24 hours hiding in his box has shown himself to be a complete cuddle bug and an escaping ninja who can open doors from the inside, leading to a few panicked escapes!!!

So far we are doing peeks through the door and supervised feeding either side of the door. Ian is totally not bothered at all and Flynn hisses at him but quite often on the retreat!!! We are also swapping them around so that Ian can explore the rest of the house and Flynn can sniff his room.

How do we proceed from here? Continue with the supervised feeding until the hissing stops?! Ian is desperate to get out and explore and be with us and getting better and better at opening the door…. However, I don’t want to rush Flynn who’s history is that he was removed from his litter too young and thinks he’s our baby, rather than a cat!

• photos!

i would say our better introduction was where the new cat was bonded to the less favoured adult. So My DH slept with Callie for a week as Leo is very strongly bonded to me and prone to jealousy and sulks.

remember cats are pretty stubborn once they’ve made their minds up better to go slowly.

he’s still a complete dick to her but she’s much more tolerant than my previous girl cat.

both were just over 2 so energy levels were well matched.

Oh how gorgeous!!!! Beautiful cats and 2 cats that sleep on the bed together is my dream!

Flynn is my baby but he shows a very strong preference for my DH (who happens to be the one that arrives home first and serves dinner!!!) and Ian is definitely showing a preference for me, so that bodes well!

Tonight Flynn has chilled right out and slept outside Ian’s door all evening. Ian hasn’t performed his usual yelling and escaping antics… does this bode well?!

Ian is actually 10 and Flynn is 6 but a pampered lazy boy!

I’d say sleeping outside the door is a good sign, might still hate each other on sight. can you introduce with netting or baby gate with fabric over? We did chaperoned visits for the first week we let them be together so separated them overnight.

@Didicat that’s exactly what we had today! Slept outside the door for hours, then gave visual contact through the mesh baby gate for evening biscuits and resident cat hissed and ran away! New cat is totally unbothered and carries on eating but he’s sooooo keen to come out of the room and have unlimited contact with us!

It’s challenging to feel like I’m doing the right thing for both- new cat has roam of the house several times a day whilst Flynn is in our bedroom as well as visits about once an hour or two throughout all waking hours but he is clearly lonely and crying a lot. Flynn however, clearly does not want to be rusher and I don’t want to stress him or push him!

Get one of those plug ins that settle them cant remember the name but it might help.

@user1471548941 how's it going? Both boys are absolutely gorgeous!

Ahhhh thanks for remembering @Toddlerteaplease

4 weeks in we decided that it was going well enough that we confirmed Ian was staying forever- I cried! I’d been holding back a little as I didn’t want it all to go wrong but we absolutely adore him!

They are absolutely hilarious together. They wake us up every morning by having a fight to get us to give them breakfast… Flynn has learnt to play- having Ian really made us realise how undersocialised Flynn was and Ian gradually gradually got him to play- he was very patient and took more than one swipe on the nose for his efforts! Watching them chase each other round the house is a joy and Flynn is no longer under weight management at the vets due to the increased exercise!

They claim to not like each other and we don’t get cuddles with each other… however, they must never be more than 2 feet apart, even turn their heads in synchronicity and when I was catching Flynn to take him to the vets the other day, Ian ran over to try and stop me putting him in the box so there is DEFINITELY an alliance. Still a bit of hissing and swiping at food times but it is very much equal and as soon as we all have full bellies peace resumes.

Ian had his first trip to the vets and the first thing the vet said to me is “you’re not going to change his name are you? Ian is a great name!” And also informed me that normal tabby cats don’t have patterns like Ian’s and he likely has some Bengal in him…. Which would explain the vocalness and his ability to climb/escape anything!

I did notice in those photos that they were sitting in almost the exact same position, with the same expression on their faces.

Being ganged up on my two cats Is hilarious. You can't do anything but comply immediately with their demands.