My cat is at the end of his life and I’m struggling to know what to do

[MelonsOnSaleAgain]

Early last week my cat was noticeably lethargic and off his food, not unusual occasionally at 15 years old. By mid-week I noticed he had woken with a massively swollen stomach and was struggling to move.

We went to the vet and she gave him a steroid to ease any inflammation to see if it helped. It did perk him up a little, but we went back yesterday as his stomach was not improved. The vet I saw reckons the most likely cause is a tumour and he is now on limited time.

He has a diuretic tablet to go into food to make him more comfy but it’s a struggle to get into him as he’s not eating and it feels wrong to force him to swallow a tablet when he’s so unwell. The thinking being if he wasn’t so swollen he’d have a happy few weeks basking in his sunny spots. But if I can’t get meds in him I’m not sure this is achievable.

Its a bank hol tomorrow (vet closed) and we’re due to be away for a couple of nights from Tuesday, as a family, with our neighbour watching him and I’m just not sure what I do.

Do I try get an emergency appointment on bank hol tomorrow and gently have him put to sleep? Do I cancel our break and be with him as he slips away? Do we go and our neighbour check him and let him be in peace in his home.

He’s still up for cuddles, meowing at mealtimes (just not eating much), and and is snoozing away in his favourite spot. He’s still drinking, and going to the loo.

Im normally so sure but he’s been my pal and part of my life for 15 years and I’m really not coping and feeling very stuck. Help.

If I were you , I’d get an emergency vet appointment for him to be put to sleep, I don’t think leaving a neighbour to look after a very poorly cat is fair on either of them.

I agree with @SleazyLizzard. Whilst he’s not in obvious distress now discomfort is inevitable and I would be want to ensure his passing was as comfortable as possible and with me there.

I’m sorry you’re going through this now, but it really does sound like it’s the right time.

Thank you both. You’ve confirmed what I think I knew really. Our vets have emergency OoH care so I’ll call tomorrow morning and make the most of the rest of today with him here.

Being an adult and responsible pet owner really sucks on days like this.

I agree, emergency appointment . My heart goes out to you: my dear old cat (21!!) trundled along but was suddenly worse over one New Year’s Eve and I waited until the vets were open- definitely the wrong decision. You are doing the right thing, it’s so hard though . You’ve given your cat a great life and this is the last kind thing that must be done.

I think it's best for cat and for you to have him put to sleep. Why drag it out and leave him with an unfamiliar person when he's not well?
A peaceful passing will be a lot better than him being in pain and it could be a very long slow process when he does pass.
I hope you find an appointment and can then move forward and enjoy your time away.

Being an adult and responsible pet owner really sucks on days like this

It really does @MelonsOnSaleAgain, but you know deep down that someone has to be that person

To quote QEII, grief is the price we pay for love.

My heart goes out to you. We made the same difficult decision yesterday and my beautiful 19 year old girl was put to sleep in my arms. It’s the right thing for them but no less painful and raw for you 💐

I also agree, emergency vet to PTS.

Very peaceful and dignified for them. But hurts like hell for us.

I’m so sorry for your loss @Martinisarebetterdirty 19 years is such a long life and I’m sure you made your girl feel completely loved while she was with you.

I spoke to DH earlier and we are both on the same page. I really do appreciate all your comments reassuring me that this is the right thing to do.

I agree that an emergency vet appointment to put him to sleep is the most humane thing. It’s a very peaceful end, I found with my dog. Sad but peaceful.

Big hugs, sending you positive support thoughts, and just be there for your kitty
our previous cat had a tumour in his jaw which grew into his throat and whilst he was ok his eating slowly changed to just chicken and cream, then just cream and the day he didn't eat cream we knew it was his time. God I adored that cat, he's been gone 2 years and I miss him but it was the right time. He was a stray before us, we rescued him but actually he rescued us, I couldn't get pregnant and he came a few days before my positive POAS result for my DD, and he was like their extra parent 🥰🐾
RIP Sunny Sunshine Bear

I am so sorry. These decisions are never easy.

I’ve had to have 2 cats put to sleep.

it was the right thing to do, but it’s so difficult. I try to think that I gave them a really happy life and then be with them at the very end (it’s upset me to type this 😥)

but having an animal involves making difficult decisions and doing the best thing for them at the time.

im sure your cat had a lovely life, and you obviously know it’s the right thing to do, which is why you’re questioning it. My vet said I’d know when it was time - and I did as the only time she was happy was when she was laying on my heated throw. I have a photo of her - she was 18.

It’s lovely to hear all of you talk about your beloved pets. Here’s a photo of my boy from just a few weeks ago. It’s been such a quick deterioration, from suspected early signs of dementia to this.

God bless your beautiful cat x What a lucky cat to have had such caring loving owners x

He’s a handsome fellow 😊

you’re definitely doing the right thing.

One of my ladies was pts over one of the lockdowns. We’d suspected dementia for a while but she was otherwise content. She then started having fits and we quite rapidly made the decision to pts. She would never have tolerated loads of investigations or medication; she was a vicious old (And young) lady but I did love her.

He is gorgeous - unmumsnetty hugs being sent

My beloved cat was pts five weeks ago. He was 15 and was showing exactly the same symptoms as your cat.
It seems likely (according to the vet) that he had a rapidly enlarging cancerous stomach tumour.
I was (and still am) heartbroken, but he is now pain-free and at peace.
More unmumsnetty hugs.

Oh @Astrak im so sorry for your loss. I’ll send you some hugs back.

Oh poor boy, and poor you, we also have a 15 year old, they seem to become elderly very quickly. Absolutely the right decision, sending lots of love.

We’ve been to see the vet and he’s gone peacefully. Thank you everyone for your kindness and reassurance yesterday.

You made a very difficult decision, and it was the right thing to do.. you must be heart broken but it was best for you little cat.

And while you are understandably grieving the loss of your gorgeous boy , console yourself that you knew him so well that you could read his signs and know when it's his time to leave you .