Heartbroken

[cymraes12]

Long time lurker desperate for a handhold from some understanding fellow cat lovers ….

My beautiful, much loved 19-year-old puss died suddenly this morning. She’d been off colour yesterday and we agreed she’d stay at the vet overnight for fluids, followed by some tests this morning. I was obviously worried given her age (and she did have a couple of existing medical conditions but these were well-controlled) but fully expected to be bringing her home today. I had a call first thing this morning to say she had fallen into a coma, and by the time I got to the vet half an hour later, I’d missed her passing away by four minutes.

I am absolutely devastated. The vet isn’t even very sure what went wrong and I keep thinking back over the last few days and whether I missed anything and could have got help sooner. She’s been with me her whole life and I always assumed I would be there at the end but I missed it.

I don’t know what I’m going to do without her.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Please know you gave her a wonderful life, she knew how loved she is x

You got her to 19, that’s an achievement in itself. She wouldn’t have known what was happening like we do.

Im so sorry. Mine got run over, we weren’t there and I assumed we’d be with him at the end.

It's natural to feel guilty and wonder if you could have stopped this from happening. Everybody does that after a death. But please let yourself accept that you couldn't have done anything to change the outcome. She was 19 and that is very old. You gave her a wonderful, wonderful life and she was so lucky to have someone who loved her, just as you were to have her.
It takes time, and you'll never forget her, but you will learn to adapt to the new normal of life.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. x

I am so sorry. This is not easy to loose our pets, she was 19 and she probably had the best life by your side. Hugs x

I'm so very sorry OP. I lost my beloved 31 year d girl last year and srl just can't stop crying when I think about her. When we have them this long they are like our children and its terrible losing them.
I was with her when she was euthanized but I still felt incredibly guilty.
Only time will ease the pain.
I did get two more cats very quickly because the empty house was unbearable.
I'm really feeling for you.

21 year old that should say.

I'm so sorry 😢19 is such a long time, a huge part of your life. I had to let my 17 year old cat go during lockdown. I handed him over to the vets thinking he had a bad leg but the vet came out to me in the car park and told me he had a massive tumor in his abdomen, said it would be kindest for him to be pts. I couldn't be there with him at the end and didn't get too say goodbye. But the end was just a tiny part of a long happy life. I gave him a wonderful home and so much love and now the memories of him make me smile.
Unmumsnetty hugs to you, it will get easier

I am so incredibly sorry to hear this. We also lost a cat during lockdown (our 19-year-old’s brother had to be PTS when they were 17) but we were lucky enough to find a vet at the local emergency service that allowed us to sneak in after 10pm when everyone else had gone home so we could be with him. We have said so often how lucky we were and your story has reinforced this for me again. Big hugs back to you.

Thank you everyone for your kind words, I knew I would find some people here who would ‘get’ it (otherwise the reaction from friends today has pretty much been to ask when I’m getting another cat).

19 is a very good age. There is nothing else you could have done.

Thinking of you OP, it’s so terribly difficult to lose them. You gave her a wonderful, long, happy and healthy life - what a privilege that you had each other. Look after yourself and don’t beat yourself up. 💐

Lovely puss cat. So sorry you didn't quite make it to be with her at the end, but she will have known how much she was loved and how much a part of the family she was. I hope it is some consolation that she lived such a long life and declined so quickly with, I hope, little suffering.

Thanks everyone who has taken the time to offer words of comfort, it’s really very much appreciated. Really struggling today. My cat always slept beside me in bed and I woke several times in the night looking for her. This morning I can’t think of anything except the fact that I wasn’t with her at the end and she must have thought I didn’t care.

So sorry - sending hugs... lost my lovable and sociable 16 year old (lap)cat just 3 weeks ago, who was a rescue kitten when I first had her. It was devastating, and the house feels very empty.

You have given her a good life, and our vet said that for cats, any years after 14 are bonus years.

Aw don’t think that way. You said she fell into a coma in the morning so she would have not realised if you would have been there perhaps.

i know it’s hard, when i lost my cat after 12 years I think I cried every single day for weeks but just think of the lovely life she had with you.

So very sorry for your loss, please try not to feel bad about not being there at the end, if she was in a coma she would not have known anything, and you took her to the vet's so she could get the best care possible, all of it you did because you loved and still love her 💐

I’m so sorry for your loss 💐Our vet said similar yesterday, that although they have a few cats they see who have reached their early 20s, he’d say average life expectancy is about 15. I do feel lucky on the one hand to have had all those extra years but also it’s such a long time to have come home to the same happy little face every day and now it’ll never be the same again. It’s actually the first time in 19 years we haven’t had any cats in the house at all and it feels eerie.