Is it time?

[Monkeyseesmonkeydoesn]

We have a 13 year old cat who has started to cause us real distress.

She has recurrent bouts of cystitis and pees blood everywhere.

She has now started pooing without cleaning herself afterwards and is leaving mess around the house.

She also suffers from severe hyperthyroidism.

She also had all her teeth removed 4 years ago due to severe gum disease but seems to manage ok without them.

We have two small children and the hygiene factor alone is stressing me out.

I'm not sure what more we can do for her. Constant medication is expensive and works for a while but then we're back to square one.

Any advice? Is it time to say goodbye?

I'd say she actually sounds incredibly stressed as opposed to actually unwell.

Did her behaviour get worse when the children came along and/or when they became mobile?
Does she go outside?
How many litter trays does she have and are they in quiet, private areas of the house?
Does she get plenty of space away from the children?

Inappropriate toileting is very often down to stress and unfortunately many cats can't cope living with small children due to their unpredictability - 13 is senior but it's not so old that I would be going straight to PTS without exhausting every other option first.

I agree with coffee cups this sounds a lot like stress. PTS would not be my first thought either.
Is the hyperthyroidism medicated?

Yes, she's on medication.

The children have been around for 7yrs so nothing new there, and she loved them. Snuggles and goes to them constantly.

Toilet arrangement hasn't changed either. Access to outside plus two trays.

How long has she been suffering from cystitis? Have you tried feliway or medication like Cystease and D-Mannose supplements?

On and off frequently for years. She has feliway, cystease, metacam etc.

Vet has done all relevant investigations, no hiv etc or kidney issues...

Is she on the Cystease all the time or just when she has a flare-up? D-Mannose is a great supplement for animals with urinary issues too.

I think with your updates it may be worth speaking to her vet again and seeing whether the changes are caused by a new medical condition or whether it's behavioural.

At 13 your cat has potentially 5 or more years left providing no ill health. I'd be going back to the vet and asking if the cat can be on cystitis medication indefinitely. I'd make a quiet space for cat too. One of my cats used to like to lie on a fleecy blanket in the bottom of my wardrobe. I used to have to leave my wardrobe door open for her. She used to go there to snooze away from the children.

Going against the grain here but I think if he quality of life is such that she cannot control her toileting (and cats love to be clean) and it is causing you such stress and concern then I think PTS is a kindness that needs to be considered for both you and your Dcat. Overtly medicating will prolong the inevitable but you need to look at the quality of life for both your cat and you and your family. I would have a frank discussion with the vet and know that you have done as much as you can. If s/he say that it is in best interests of cat to try further investigations then you can decide but you know your pet and only you can decide. I had my beautiful DCat PTS two weeks ago and although I miss him terribly the help and advice I got here about knowing when the time is "right" was great and it helped us as a family prepare for a peaceful and gentle end without forcing further unnecessary treatment on him. He was nearly 16 and had hypothyroidism, CKD and cancer - yet he still went out occasionally, liked cuddles and was toileting fine. If he was not able to control his bowels or bladder then we knew (and vet said) that time was right. I am glad we decided to let him go with dignity intact. Someone posted on her about "a week too soon rather a day too late" and I believe that and what I read elsewhere that said "today is probably the best your cat will be". Sending warm wishes

Thanks for all replies. We're going to give it a week of super intense love and care and go to the vets for advice..it's hard isn't it