Handhold and advice please - cancer

[cactusdream]

So after four months of tests and treatment our beautiful boy is now nearing the end.

He's 16 and has CKD and hyperthyroidism.

Both have been treated and he is (ironically) doing well on thyronorm (after several months of getting dose correct) and his creatine is now within normal range - nothing that would suggest any of these conditions are reason for his current symptoms.

In short he has lost over a kilo in past four months and now weighs 3.2 kg. On average he is losing 4 grammes every three weeks. However he is eating, toileting fine and generally living as well as most elderly cats do. Sleeping a lot and less inclined to go out but still likes cuddles etc..

Blood tests have ruled out diabetes and vet (and we) are now sure weight loss is due to cancer. We are not going to put him through invasive tests just to "prove" it's cancer as that's academic. This is a partly due to his age but also a heart murmur he has had since birth and not want to protract any anxiety or suffering (he HATES going to the vet!)

His white blood count is good so likely to be his mouth/organs (no lumps or bumps).

We have spoken to the vet about end-of-life plans but I would just like to ask for any tips that made your cats comfortable in their last weeks/months.

We have been frank about when the "time is right" and I am very much in the camp of "a week earlier is better than a day late".

Any words of wisdom welcome - thanks!

No words of wisdom I’m afraid but I very much agree with a week too soon rather than a day too late.

I’m so sorry to hear this and I really feel for you. I’ve never been in this situation as my cats have either been knocked down on the road or never came back home, both devastating but the decision taken out of my hands. I have two indoor cats now and I know at some point the decision will come upon me and I can’t begin to imagine what I will do. However, when it comes to a cat being in pain then you just know you have to do the right thing. They are amazing at not showing any pain and making you think everything is okay. Stand by your gut instincts and do what’s right when the time comes. My thoughts and prayers with you and your beloved beautiful boy xxxx heart breaking xxxxxx 💔xxx

Thank you so much @Costacoffeeplease and @Whoknowswhatanymore - it's so nice to know I'm are not alone going through this and that others understand.

When our boy's brother went (too soon) at aged six he had all the tests and we prolonged it far too long - that's why I would rather be in "control" and stop any suffering.

My biggest fear was (is) that he just disappears.

He was once "lost" for ten days and the stress of not knowing where he was and naturally assuming the worst was overwhelming.

Never did know where he had been but he just sauntered in (bedraggled and skinny) ten days later and DH (who is not known to be emotional or a cat lover) burst out crying in relief

We have had countless cats, currently 13 (I’m not in the U.K.). Some have lived for days, others for months, and many for years. We have also lost some on the road or just disappeared but the last few years have been tough and we’ve lost 6 in about 2 years, 4 from cancer and 2 from old age/kidney failure.

I’m much better at spotting the signs now, and know how well cats can hide their pain and symptoms. It’s never an easy decision but if I can’t give them a good (enough) life, the next best thing is a good death. Controlled, calm, safe and loved.

@Costacoffeeplease

Thirteen - wow! I thought I was busy when we had six (long time ago!)

Agree that once "you know, you know"

I genuinely don't think we are at that stage though we may be in a few weeks.

I just want to make him as "happy" and comfortable as possible in the meantime.

I think my boy is telling me it's time to go - he's very sleepy, struggles to get comfy, is eating less and less and doesn't like to be touched (although he is snuggling up to us).

I have made an appointment at the vets to discuss our plans but think it is time to say goodbye this week and do one final act of kindness.

We have pre-meeting with vet (not with cat) tomorrow and I wonder if anyone has done this and what questions I should cover.

I am afraid of forgetting to ask something and it being too late.

So far I am certain that I will stay with him, we want a private cremation and ashes returned to us. We would prefer to visit vet for him to be PTS as he is more used to that now and it means we can book our "favourite" vet who has built up a rapport with him - also minded he gets stressed with visitors to the home anyway.

I want to ensure that he is sedated prior to the final injection and also want to make it as stress-free for him and me.

My DH will come with me so if I can't be there at the very end he says he will be.

Anyone got any advice or questions that I have forgotten.

Sorry if I am sounding too "clinical" but I'm trying to hold it all together for his sake (cat not DH!)

Thank you in advance.

Take a little piece of fur if you like, you might not want to have anything done with it but it gives you the option then if you wanted say a piece of jewellery
I have a ring with my horses hair in it

Sending love to all of you ❤️. I've had to do this a few times over the years with various DCats and it is always devastating. It sounds like he knows you love him

With one of ours, we took him in when he lost interest in food. That was sign that he was checking out (as if being skinny & weak wasn't enough). He had lived for food previously.

Thanks for your kind messages - it's nice knowing others know what you are going through. Thank you for the love and you are right @Igmum it is always so very, very hard.

Fur is a nice idea (though probably plenty around the house too!). Thank you @Kyse . It's nice to have the option and sounds like a lovely fitting tribute to your horse.

@lljkk - he has never been a big eater (fussy but not massive appetite) - as vet says we can medicate to improve his appetite but to what end?

On the day we knew our cat was going on his last trip to the vets, we got his favourite chicken pieces (he was still eating). We had a good couple of hours all giving him a fuss and the chicken. He had a good last afternoon and obviously no idea what was coming. Us on the other hand, if you look at the photos we took that afternoon, we all look really really sad 🙁.

@ThreeLeggedCat you are describing what I anticipate to a tee. I take comfort in knowing he is still eating bits n bobs and trying to live his best cat life but we all know what's coming. I imagine our photos will look equally glum - maybe I won't take any and remember him in his prime.