I think I've joined a cult and my cat is the leader.

[WildFlowerBees]

We rescued 2 cats 11 years ago, I didn't particularly want any but was persuaded. I agreed to one but they came as a pair.

Over the last 11 years I have found myself, lying in bed bursting for a wee but not moving because there's a furry creature tucked up on me/against me. Sat on the floor because they're both on the sofa and there's no room for me. I have bowed down to every screech when I've put down the 'wrong' food and now have a pet shop full of different and ridiculously expensive food.

I find myself going upstairs with purpose only to reappear an hour later having achieved nothing except snuggling one or both cats kissing the tops of their heads and telling them how much I love them. Neither of them give a shit.

One of them is a criminal, her crime is to use the litter tray late at night, scatter as much litter as is possible then tell us all about it until someone (me) gets up and clears it. I seem to spend far too much of my time cleaning a litter tray whilst she sits and watches.

Dh does all of this but in his own time, I fear I am in a cat cult. My cat is the leader and I'm certain she won't let me leave.

Yes. A cult from which there is no exit.

Exit? But why would you ever want to?

I'm having to go away with work, as soon as she sees my suitcase there will be repercussions. 😬

Ha this made me laugh.

Ahh..just bow to the furry overlords..

You have just described my life!!! I also lie in bed in incredibly uncomfortable positions with cramp and aching legs because the furry overlord is lying stretched out horizontally across the bed and moving would wake him. You think I'd be less bothered about disturbing his sleep when he clearly doesn't give 2 tosses for mine on the days when pouncing practice starts at 4am on my face 😂

Yep. I hear you. I was going to say 'I think I'm in the same cult' but then I realised that each cat cult has its own magnificent and powerful cat cult leader. Mine is currently sat on my lap.

If I put food down for her, say Blink for instance she will give me a death stare and meow that it's not acceptable, however if I put the same food down for her brother in his spot she will casually wander over and eat his with gusto.

I think this cult has many leaders (and hundreds of devoted followers)

Can we see a picture of your beloved leader?

Here's she is, sitting on my hip giving me the stare down.

😹
Wonder where The Cult holds its annual Forum? Catskills, perhaps,(😼)

Head of The Cult in my clowder.

Well is definitely not between 2 and 5am!

Bow low peasants, and accept thy fate.

Lenny looks down on everybody.

typing one handed as out household cult leader is in charge of the other arm

My husband shares a cuddle chair with the boss who has more than half of the space. Yesterday the boss cried and gazed at my OH so OH stood up to go and feed the brute. Guess who looked victoriously at OH and spread himself out!
My husband was left standing, looking down at the cat and not believing quite just what had happened.

Haha this is so familiar. I really am a faithful slave to my cat.

She knows and she's going to let me know she knows at 2am.

I’m fully part of the cult.

Toots discovered in the winter, that if she gets under the duvet whilst my legs are up in an A position, she gets to lay in a nice warm spot with no way of being squashed or the weight of the duvet on her.

Problem is, she wants to be under there all the time and will sit next to me gently clawing my arm telling me to lift the duvet and my legs so can go under.

I’m in bed 99% of the time so she has plenty of time to do it. I then feel guilty when I have to make her move because I’m bursting for a wee or my feet have gone numb and need to be moving

In fact, these are just two of the many photos I have of her. I’ve helpfully cropped out my knickers

Resting after a difficult day of keeping me in line. I wonder what tomorrow will bring😼

Beautiful tyrant you've got there, OP.

I too have spent the evening genuflecting before my overkittens, swearing undying fealty and adoration.

As far as they're concerned I'm just the monkey who can reach the dreamies for them.

I had to rush over a sample of pee to the vets this morning only to be told furry overlord no4 probably has stress cystitis as something spooked him in the cupboard where his toilets are so he decided to pee everywhere else. Now I have had to buy more cat toilets and position them around the house in case he fancies having a pee somewhere else!

I’m sure it’s all a ploy to get more Dreamies as I feel so bad giving him his medicine I have to give him Dreamies to make up for being so bad to him. Photo below of his evil cuteness.

Here’s my cult leader. Literally the first thing every member of the family asks on entering the house, even those who don’t live here any more, is ‘where's the cat?’ There is no leaving the cult!

Gorgeous cats you all have. I love the litter tray always makes me laugh.