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The litter tray

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Original poster

Pts while they still have quality of life?

28 replies

TheJanitor · 10/04/2023 08:29

My cat is a 16 year old burmese house cat. He's always been fit and healthy up till the last year when he developed arthritis. He's currently on a monthly injection for this which is meant to be done every 4 weeks but it stopped being effective at the end of the 3rd week so now he has it every 3 weeks. We can definitely tell when it's wearing off, he walks very stiffly, reluctant to jump onto things, sometimes has visible signs of pain. He spends most of his time sleeping but a couple of times a day he gets up for a wander and to mug us for pieces of ham.

We had blood tests done a month ago as he had lost weight despite an increased appetite (eating his own and the dogs food) and the vet was slightly concerned about his kidneys, but said get him tested again in a month or two to see if he's deteriorated. We are now 3 weeks since his last injection and i think it's worn off just before the three week mark. He's also spotting urine which suggests a UTI as he's had them regularly throughout his life.

So he's still got some quality of life, he's able to get around, enjoys his favourite food and interacts with us. But his injection is wearing off quicker, and it's only masking the pain. Sometimes i look at him and think he really doesn't look well (but then he's an old longhaired cat, so while he still grooms he's not as good at it as he was.)

He won't take oral meds at all and it's traumatic for him to be forced to take them which is why he's on this monthly injection as opposed to metacam. I've spoken to the vet and if there is any kidney issues, the medication that would be oral and it would be really really stressful for him to have that given every day - if he would even take it.

Cost isn't an issue, but I'm struggling with whether it's right to say goodbye to him now while he's still happy-ish and while the injections are still working, or to keep him going for a few months more. I think he's only going to deteriorate and I'm not sure where the line is. I am so conscious of leaving him too long and turning round one day and suddenly seeing I've let him get too bad. I've seen it happen with members of my family and i don't want to do it to my boy.

I don't know how i feel about waiting for "something" to happen to force my hand, or for him to get full blown kidney failure before i decide it's time. He may have a few more months left going along as he is but if I've waited till he's in a lot of pain, surely I've left it too long?

What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
TheJanitor · 10/04/2023 08:31

Not that it matters but i meant he's a birman not burmese.

OP posts:
MultipleVeganPies · 10/04/2023 08:36

It’s so tough, and I think you have to trust your own instincts on this

most pet owners seem to err on the side of caution and let their animals struggle for too long. It’s a difficult decision but trust yourself here, you know him better than anyone

MrsMitford3 · 10/04/2023 08:36

Oh @TheJanitor this made me well up a bit.

I had a similar dilemma with my darling dog. One thing the vet said to me is that aren't like us-they aren't thinking "just one more sunny day, just one more cuddle etc" they are much more in the moment.
It sounds to me like deep down you know it is probably time.

You have given him an amazing life but it really doesn't sound like much actual quality of life any more-but just times when he is getting by until the next slump.

Don't let him deteriorate any more.
Give him his best meal, a huge cuddle and say goodbye. Sending love.

MisgenderedSwan · 10/04/2023 08:37

Personally, I would say it is time to start talking to the vet. Much better to be able to plan an appointment and spend time having cuddles and calm, loving time together than needing to rush to an emergency vet in the middle of the night traumatising all of you.

He sounds like a lovely cat, and you sound like a great owner putting his needs first.

Original poster
TheJanitor · 10/04/2023 08:47

My gut instinct is telling me it's nearly time. I've had him since he was 8 weeks old. I love the bones of him but i dont want to keep him going for my sake. He doesn't owe me a thing, he's been the best boy. Aloof yet comes for a fuss on his own terms. When he's had enough he will give you a little nip to let you know. He's so regal yet he would do such funny things when he was younger. If you ask him for a cuddle he will bump his head against yours. I clicker trained him to do tricks when he was younger and he still remembers them.

Re pts, People tell me one day you'll look at him and you'll just "know" it's time but is that true? Or does it come down to a weighing up of his whole life and just making the decision one day?

I've never had a pet pts before and the family pets we had while i was growing up were left too long.

OP posts:
octoberafternoons · 10/04/2023 08:52

When I was facing this situation with my 16 year old cat, the vet said people don't regret doing it too soon, they regret leaving it too late. For me the decision was based on seeing many of the things my girl had enjoyed doing no longer interested her, especially food and treats which she'd loved all her life.

MrsMitford3 · 10/04/2023 08:54

With our dog-he was declining but still ok until he had one day when he didn't wag his tail and I said to DH we can't have another day like that.
If I am honest we were probably hanging on because we couldn't bear to make the call, not because it wasn't time.
Unusually, ddog died in his sleep that night.

Animals mask A LOT and don't like to show pain or weakness so I think by the time you can see it it is pretty bad.

It is a very hard thing to do and I don't think there is always a lightbulb moment-you just might take a step back and look at him and think if maybe it is time. If you think he has a bit of good life left then wonderful.

Just be wary of letting it drag on-agree with PP who said much better have a calm loving end than a frantic emergency painful end.

Original poster
TheJanitor · 10/04/2023 08:55

The thing is he's still eating well, still comes looking for chicken and ham and eats them with great enthusiasm. All the things online about when to put down an elderly cat he doesn't really meet the criteria - he's still able to use the litter tray aside from the spotting which started yesterday, he's keeping himself clean, enjoys his treats, all that stuff. This is why it's so hard. I haven't yet reached a line that makes me think "yes he's had enough".

OP posts:
Original poster
TheJanitor · 10/04/2023 08:56

The only thing I'm going on here is my gut feeling and I've never been very good at trusting my gut.

OP posts:
MrsMitford3 · 10/04/2023 08:59

@TheJanitor do you (and the cat) live with other people?

Is there anyone else who knows him who can offer a view to help you?

CrunchyCarrot · 10/04/2023 09:00

Full blown kidney failure is awful. My first boy had that and it's miserable. Please don't wait for that to happen.

As for 'you'll know when the time comes' - not always. It may be, by then, past the point where you should have acted, because cats mask pain so well.

Whatever you decide to do, OP, it's very difficult and will be painful for you no matter when it is. However I do think it's preferable to avoid too much suffering for your pet, so maybe start thinking about it sooner rather than later. In the meantime, lots of cuddles, treats and spoiling for your beautiful kitty.

Toddlerteaplease · 10/04/2023 09:04

My cat had health issues, but seemed happy enough. But I had her bloods done as she'd lost weight very quickly. That evening I looked at her and knew. I waited for her blood results to come back. (They were off the scale) and had her PTS that day.

Original poster
TheJanitor · 10/04/2023 09:07

MrsMitford3 · 10/04/2023 08:59

@TheJanitor do you (and the cat) live with other people?

Is there anyone else who knows him who can offer a view to help you?

My husband thinks just keep going with the injections and see how he gets on. But i had him before i meet dh so he's really my cat and the decision is down to me. I think i can see very slight deterioration that he can't necessarily see. I'll have a chat with some other people that have known my cat a while and see what they think.

But i think i know what i have to do.

OP posts:
crossstitchingnana · 10/04/2023 09:12

Aside from the when to PTS, and only you know if he's suffering, has his thyroid been checked? My 16yo cat lost lots of weight and she has an over active thyroid. Now on meds and is fine. However, she doesn't have arthritis (well, doesn't show it) but does have early kidney disease and is on REALLY expensive food.

Original poster
TheJanitor · 10/04/2023 09:24

Yes his thyroid was checked alongside the blood tests, that was all fine.

OP posts:
Beamur · 10/04/2023 09:29

Have a look at quality of life indexes. Our vet recommended the HHHHHMM one.
It helps take a more objective view.
He sounds like a fabulous cat and it is a kindness to think about this and be proactive.

AnnaMagnani · 10/04/2023 09:38

I totally get where you are coming from. I left my cat too long - looking back the vet kept offering stuff when I would have been open to a discussion along the lines of 'sometime this year it will be time to PTS'

When we had the final emergency they also said it might be treatable - I suspect it absolutely wasn't so we were the 'day too late' in making the decision.

Hopefully it will be a long time before we have to do it again but I am determined that if I have a creaky incontinent cat again we'll be raising PTS instead of focussing on the fact that she still purrs or likes sitting in the sun.

FurAndFeathers · 10/04/2023 09:42

I think when you wait til you ‘just know’ it’s often too late and the animal’s quality if life has deteriorated to a point where suffering is obvious.

it sounds like you’re much more aware of your cat’s QOL.
when my cat was in a similar situation I picked a date and made sure he had a lovely last week of cuddles and tears. It was planned and calm.

could he have lived a bit longer? Yes.
would him living longer have given him a good QoL where he could easily do all the things he enjoyed? No

better a week too soon than a day too late
💐

AnnaMagnani · 10/04/2023 09:54

@FurAndFeathers that was a really amazing thing you did there.

I am going to remember this and try to do the same, we got wrong footed by an emergency.

Beamur · 10/04/2023 09:57

I had to make this choice for my dog last year. With hindsight I wish I had made the decision a little sooner. Whilst the vet had suggested the index they weren't actively saying we think it's time - she didn't have any specific illness which would have made a decision more pressing, she'd had lots of (expensive) tests as something was off but there was never anything diagnosed. But she was miserable, didn't want to walk, couldn't hear well, couldn't see well, had no spark.
Then one day she just refused to settle and stood trembling in one spot for ages. I rang the vets and made an appointment, told the vets it was time.

CeliaNorth · 10/04/2023 10:11

I think if you're at the point when you're asking if it's time, it probably is.

FurAndFeathers · 10/04/2023 15:34

AnnaMagnani · 10/04/2023 09:54

@FurAndFeathers that was a really amazing thing you did there.

I am going to remember this and try to do the same, we got wrong footed by an emergency.

thank you - it should have read cuddles and treats!
though there were a few tears too.

honestly my advice would be when you have a beloved pet on that gradual decline, choose a date and plan a lovely calm organised goodbye. It’s hard to do, but it’s also SO much less traumatic for everyone.

my boy had a lovely last day, was cheerful and relaxed. I’d much rather that than him experiencing pain, nausea and stress before I made a decision

FurAndFeathers · 10/04/2023 15:35

Notwithstanding emergencies/sudden deteriorations of course.
I appreciate I was fortunate that way

tilestoclean · 10/04/2023 18:00

This sounds exactly like my ragdoll house cat. At age 18 he started having joint issues, his legs would dislocate as he walked. He was also very skinny. Had a chat with our lovely vet and he said that from around the age of 12 all cats kidneys start deteriorating. He said he could put the cat through the trauma of tests but it was pretty much guaranteed to be the case. He said the next stage of kidney failure would be seizures. I asked what he would do if it was his cat and he said he wouldn't put him through any testing or medication trials or wait for the seizures to start, but would put him to sleep there and then. As devastating as it was I took his advice.

Notanothernewname · 10/04/2023 18:24

With my old cat we just knew, she went downhill overnight and stopped eating. It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make but we spoke to the vet who said it was the kindest thing to do.