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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Cat dilemma - what would you do?

9 replies

TemporaryCatSlave · 09/04/2023 23:50

Sorry for the long post. I have the option of keeping Temporary Cat permanently but don't know if it's the right thing to do.

He's been staying with me for some months now. He was due to be relocating abroad in a few more months but now she and her family are having second thoughts and have suggested he could stay with me long term. I do love him and would consider it BUT there are some real pros and cons to both options and I want to whatever is best for him. (My friend wants to take him, it's her husband and kids who are getting worried as they are already living there and pressuring her and now she's wobbling).

Issues:
-He was an outdoor cat from kitten to nearly 3, living on a little country lane with hardly any traffic with loads of garden and even some woods to explore. He doesn't really know what a busy road looks like.
-I live in a flat, 2nd floor & no balcony. It is spacious and with lots of trees & birds out the windows for 'cat TV' (plus stray cats & foxes which get him a bit worked up)
-He's taken to being an indoor cat surprisingly well but is starting to seem bored & frustrated (despite lots of playing with him every day and having heaps of toys) and it's hard to give him enough exercise when he has spells of lots of energy to burn off.
-He's not a breed known for being inside e.g ragdoll, he's moggy but with a 'probably' part-Bengal grandparent
-Lately has been meowing to go out the flat door into the hallway (let him go out a few times but always anxious a neighbour will open their door and he'll bolt inside their flat!)
-He's far too nervy to even try on a harness & lead to take for a walk in the communal gardens, he'd freak out. He also panics at loud sounds, even everyday ones like motorbikes, also heavy rain and hail - runs to hide somewhere dark.

-I've been working from home 4+ days a week but that will reduce to 2-3 days at some point, meaning less company for him in the week

However his family are now worried that his new house won't be suitable.
-they live in a suburb with fairly busy roads and can't keep him in the garden (I keep suggesting cat proofing but it's not realistic apparently)
-due to his lack of roadsense, general nervy nature and tendency to bolt/freeze when scared they think he could get hit by a car more easily than most 'street smart' cats.
-in suburbia there will be lots of roaming cats and as he's not used to that and is quite territorial, but also scared of other cats, it could lead to lots of fights. Or him running away and getting lost.
-if he ran away he would be hard to find due to being so nervous and tendency to hide. He's not food focused so rattling a pack of Dreamies won't bring him running.

So dilemma is what's the best life for him? Stuck inside with me or possibly being frightened/bullied by cats/lost/run over at his new home. That's putting aside the very long and stressful journey to get there which he'll hate. He's very sweet and affectionate and playful - I'd be very upset to hear he'd gone missing or been hurt/killed by a car. But being with me might be a life of boredom. Thoughts?

OP posts:
caringcarer · 10/04/2023 00:39

I'd take him in OP. You can get a running wheel for an indoor cat. We have one and one of our cats uses it a lot. The other less so. So exercise is not an issue. A good cat activity centre should keep the cat amused as would a companion cat. Our 2 cats spend ages playing together.

KillerSandy · 10/04/2023 00:48

I have always had indoor cats and they have all lived long lives. You do need to invest time and thought in play.

Floralnomad · 10/04/2023 01:09

Keep him .

dresshelp43 · 10/04/2023 02:25

Keep him :) x

TheJanitor · 10/04/2023 08:09

I think he needs to find a new home where he can roam around like in his old place. It's not fair to put him through a long journey to an unsuitable home, and he's going to go mad as a house cat as he's been used to going out.

TemporaryCatSlave · 10/04/2023 10:24

@caringcarer I've been googling cat treadmills now! If he stays he's gong to cost me a fortune.

@TheJanitor there is no other rehoming option - if I don't keep him he's going on a plane. I don't think he's 'going mad' being indoors. If he hated it, surely that would have shown up been when he first arrived but he's been here several months and was not asking to go out all. It's just lately he's seem a bit dissatisfied with the facilities provided.

@KillerSandy you're right I need to find more ways to entertain him. Wish he liked more normal cat activities like chasing balls or those interactive toys but he's totally uninterested in them so far.

I'm leaning towards keeping him if his owner outright asks me to (so far its been a tentative sounding me out). I've always wanted a cat -always had them when younger - but the time was never right. Now feels more do-able.

OP posts:
DogLover20 · 13/04/2023 10:46

Brits seem to be adamant that cats must be left free to roam outside but in most countries in the world cats are indoor only pets. It's actually much safer for them and for the wildlife to keep them protected indoors.

Good luck!

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 13/04/2023 11:04

They could buy a catio for there new house, they are easy to build and attach then remove when you don't need them anymore ie when they move again.

Choconuttolata · 13/04/2023 11:11

I would suggest that they find a third option. If he is used to being an outdoor cat he will be unhappy long term indoors only. We had to give up our kitten to my Dad who was born and raised in our old flat because he just wasn't happy.

We have a Ragdoll now a typically indoor type breed, but he is also happier going out (our area/road is not at all busy with traffic and he mostly goes in our garden). He could learn to be safer around roads, but ideally a third home with less roads would be better. We lost a kitten who got run over on our old road which was not massively busy but not quiet not long after he started going out, so a cat who doesn't have experience of roads and cars is at more risk.

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