Cat aggression

[troubleser]

I adopted two cats a couple of months ago. They were both taken from a horrible environment and are not brother and sister.

Boy cat is huge (Bengal size) and has been increasingly aggressive to girl cat, who is tiny. He stalks her and jumps on her, but it was managable until this evening. He has just come into my bedroom (where girl cat was sleeping) and launched a very loud attack on her. Clumps of her fur came out and she pooed herself due to fear.

I have now seperated them and locked him downstairs, but I don't know what to do. She is obviously absolutely terrified and shaking like a leaf. I don't feel comfortable leaving them alone together. I am considering giving him back to the charity I adopted from so he can be housed seperately. She has already gone missing for a couple of days and I am worried if I let her outside I will never see her again.

I have done all the things recommended - used feliway, made sure there are enough resources etc. I live in a big house and I am the only other person living there.

Any ideas much appreciated!

I would re-home one of them - probably the boy as he's the one causing the fights.

Unfortunately not all cats are suited to living in multi-cat homes and when it gets to the stage where one is pooing themselves in fear, it's really not fair or practical to keep trying to push the issue.

Boy cat will probably be much happier on his own and girl cat will be thrilled not to get jumped on constantly

Yes to rehoming he isnt coping maybe he needs to be a single cat

I had to rehome a female cat when her litter mate brother suddenly started bullying her. He got on fine with my two older males.

She started to over groom herself and stay out overnight. I've had numerous cats over the years so tried everything to make her settled.

In the end she started to stay with a neighbour and it was kinder to let her move there permanently

Weirdly he now goes to her house to visit and they get on fine.

DSil had a similar problem. They got older kittens (around a year, littermates) when they lost one of their elderly cats, leaving just the one old one. All was fine until the old cat died, then suddenly the boy started to get really agressive to the girl.

DSil tried everything anyone could think of - meds for the boy, change of food, separate then reintroduce very carefully using a pen for interactions etc. She eventually had to give up after a year of trying.

Boy was re-homed to a single cat household, where he thrived. They got a new rescue girl, and both the girls get on really well.

The general view of the vet and a behaviorist was that when the dynamics changed (old girl was the boss, despite being almost blind by then), the boy just decided he wanted to be an only cat. He was a fair bit bigger than the girl, and as soon as he became boss cat that was it.

The rescue I got mine from rescues a fair number of multi cat households, and they say the majority of cats who come from that kind of situation tend to do better as an only cat when they are re-homed, probably due to previously having to fight for status and resources.

Don't feel guilty about rehoming him - both cats will be happier.

We have a tiny girl cat who was being bullied by her bigger brother at her previous home. Since she’s been an only cat she’s really enjoying life. I’d rehome boy cat if I were you - they both would do much better apart.

Thank you all. I feel so guilty as they came from a horrible environment, but you are right - what is the point in making everyone miserable. He is a lovely affectionate boy (with me) so will be a great pet - but the level of aggression last night just made me think that there is no real point. Girl cat is so shaken up - she hasn't left my side all morning.

My mum also has a (very placid and loving) female cat, who had to be put into a shelter after a very territorial tomcat attacked her and nearly killed her at her previous home. It’s really unfortunate, but I think you should probably move quickly, as if he is able to attack the girl cat with such a level of aggression, he could easily kill or seriously injure her on a second go.

Sorry, OP. These decisions are hard.

Your doing the right thing, he just wants to be an only cat.