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The litter tray

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Original poster

My cat has been killed, please listen to me!

80 replies

Wagstastic · 19/03/2023 15:03

My cat was hit by a car last night and killed instantly.
It's all my fault and the guilt is awful.
She was 16 and not exactly a house cat but didn't like going much unless the weather was nice. In the summer she would sit out for ages.
She was house trained but did use her litter tray too.
I always popped her in her back garden morning and evening. Just for ten minutes or so. She she mostly protested (again unless it was sunny) but sometimes sat out for a bit. I never put her out in bad weather.
Last night as I was cooking dinner I put her in the garden, physically picked her up and put her in back garden. Just to see if she would have a wee or poo rather than use litter tray

Less than 10 minutes later our next door neighbour knocked the door saying she had been run over. Someone who had witnessed it knocked their door to ask if they knew who's cat it was.

I keep replaying it in my head. Why did I make her go out when she didn't want to. And why she must have jumped over the fence and gone out into the street when I've never seen her do this at all.
I cant stop crying.

OP posts:
RoseslnTheHospital · 19/03/2023 15:04

It's not your fault. You did what you've always done, and just this once you had terrible bad luck.

I'm sorry you've lost your lovely cat.

BrutusMcDogface · 19/03/2023 15:06

Oh, op. I’m really sorry you’ve lost your cat but it’s not your fault at all! 😔💐💐💐

Original poster
Wagstastic · 19/03/2023 15:06

Thank you. I feel so awful. If I'd left her to use her litter tray she would still be here.
I cant understand why she went into the street either.

OP posts:
DrFoxtrot · 19/03/2023 15:07

Oh OP Flowers

It was not your fault, you weren't to know she'd leave the garden. It was a terrible accident. You'll go through all the stages of grief, let them happen and be kind to yourself.

CatherinedeBourgh · 19/03/2023 15:08

She was 16 and suddenly did something that she had never done before. It is entirely possible that something was wrong with her anyway.

I had this with my dog a few weeks ago. She was very old, and when I called her for her walk she didn't come (she loves her walks). After much searching we found her hidden under the hedge, somewhere she had never been. A few hours later she was dead, probably of a stroke.

Original poster
Wagstastic · 19/03/2023 15:08

I feel so bad as she never wandered out of the garden. Sometimes just sat on patio or the rabbit hutch. Not a hunter or prey driven. Just a quiet cat really. I feel I've let her down so bad.

OP posts:
BiteyShark · 19/03/2023 15:10

You didn't let her down. You loved her and cared for her and gave her a lovely life.

You need to be kind to yourself Flowers

NothankyouNigel · 19/03/2023 15:11

Oh gosh I’m so sorry OP. 💐 As others are saying, it’s really not your fault. I lost my younger cat in different circumstances but couldn’t stop crying for ages. I know what the shock feels like. I’m sorry.

Loveyoutomatoes · 19/03/2023 15:13

I'm so sorry ❤️
And it's not your fault ❤️

ArianahX · 19/03/2023 15:14

So sorry to hear about your cat, please don't blame yourself xx

WinterMusings · 19/03/2023 15:15

(((HUG)))

im so very sorry 💔 it hurts so much when they go, especially when you feel responsible for it.

it was a terrible, terrible series of events.

you'll miss her so much, but in time you'll be able to remember the lovely times first & foremost.

in the meantime it's only natural to feel very sad & cry.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 19/03/2023 15:18

It's so easy to feel guilty when we lose a beloved pet. But you did what you normally did, & she did something different, bless her. It sounds like you gave her a lovely life, & she lived to a good age. Take care of yourself because you're feeling everything at 3 x the normal intensity. It will hurt so much for a while - that's normal, too. Just hold on to the sweet memories you have of her. Tell her how much you love her, say whatever you want to say to her, & cry. It will help.

RedRosie · 19/03/2023 15:18

I'm so sorry. It wasn't your fault, really it wasn't.

There is absolutely no accounting for cats, and they do unpredictable things.

Try to be kind to yourself.

Original poster
Wagstastic · 19/03/2023 15:19

CatherinedeBourgh · 19/03/2023 15:08

She was 16 and suddenly did something that she had never done before. It is entirely possible that something was wrong with her anyway.

I had this with my dog a few weeks ago. She was very old, and when I called her for her walk she didn't come (she loves her walks). After much searching we found her hidden under the hedge, somewhere she had never been. A few hours later she was dead, probably of a stroke.

Someone else said this to me too.

OP posts:
Pruneaux · 19/03/2023 15:23

I’m so sad for you. It’s not your fault, she’s never done this before so you couldn’t have predicted it. Sending 💐and unmumsnetty hugs for you

HerodAntipasti · 19/03/2023 15:29

I’m so sorry for your loss. What a horrible shock. Hugs to you. Please be kind to yourself.

HoneyPotBee · 19/03/2023 15:36

FlowersFlowersFlowers

Nancydrawn · 19/03/2023 15:37

I'm so sorry, OP.

To agree with a previous poster, when an animal of that age does something so far out of character, it's often a sign that something's really wrong. There's no way you could have known she'd do what she did -- and that probably means it was her time.

This isn't your fault. Please be gentle with yourself.

VioletLemon · 19/03/2023 15:37

Oh no, I'm so sorry OP. It really wasn't your fault though. Your lovely cat unfortunately took a wrong turn. They wouldn't have suffered. Try to accept what's happened and ease up on yourself. 💐

PrinnyPree · 19/03/2023 15:38

I am so sorry OP, I agree with another PP perhaps something wasn't right for her to do something so out of character, it is not your fault. It was conpletely unpredictable. 16 is a good age and I bet she had a wonderful life. Xx Sending unmumsnetty hugs. Xx

LauraNorda · 19/03/2023 15:41

That's just awful. Try, however, to take comfort that she had 16 wonderful years being taken care of and loved.

LakeTiticaca · 19/03/2023 15:45

So sorry. Sending you a hug. It's not your fault, cats just do what they do. Same happened to me a few years back. Let my cat out at 10pm expecting him back in an hour or so. Neighbour found him 3 days later in bushes. I was heartbroken but he liked to be our and about and I guess it could have happened any time x
Don't blame yourself xx

Cocobutt · 19/03/2023 15:46

This is not your fault!
Your guilt is a part of grief.

Was she well looked after, fed and watered?
Or was she abused, starved and mistreated?
I already know which one it is and therefore you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

I get why you’re feeling this way as my cat got hit by a car and I blamed myself too.
But the reality is your cat would have died eventually and it sounds horrible but it’s much better to have had a quick death by being hit by a car rather than having organ failure or something and having a slow, painful death.

Try and focus on the good things you did for your cat and how well you must have treated her to be able to live to 16.

Wotrewelookinat · 19/03/2023 15:48

So sorry for your loss. Xxx

CatsQuestion · 19/03/2023 15:48

Sorry for your loss. Maybe she was senile and confused when she was put outside which caused her to run into the road. My elderly cat stopped going out as she got older, maybe they know not to go outdoors when they get old because they’re less aware of their surroundings.

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