Excessively needy cat

[Doihavetowait]

I have a female spayed cat of nearly 6. We have had a couple of house moves in her life, and one I think left her traumatised about being left behind. If we go on holiday she becomes very very clingy and neurotic with the family member who is looking after her. She has urinated on our bed on one occasion in protest. She’s never been a huge lap cat except with the one family member who is usually left in charge. In the past few months she has become really obsessively needy and has started sitting on our laps all the time. The favoured family member moved out very recently and she has ramped up the neediness to excessive levels. Just won’t sit on her own. Has to be on our knee all day and evening if we are here. Climbs my chest and pushes her face into mine.
Some workmen came to give a quote outside yesterday and she ran and hid under a table. She usually likes to watch them and doesn’t bother
we have a few short trips coming up and then a ten day holiday. She is either going to have to go into a cattery ( she’s never been in one before) or be left alone with a cat feeder either human or mechanical. I have left her for a week before with someone coming in once a day, but the weather was better.
I just don’t know what wrong with her and it’s becoming a real problem. She has to be stuck to us all day and jumps at every noise. I’ve never had a cat behave like this before.

she had a urine infection recently and the vet said it was most likely caused by stress. I wonder if having a lot of trees cut down recently behind our house has spooked her . It was over several days and wasn’t on our property but just behind it:

Any ideas about what to do? I am worried about going away now:

Have you tried Feliway or a similar pheremone based diffuser? They don't work with all cats, but can make quite a difference with others. Also, I use Zylkene for stressful situations and found it really helped with mine.

the trees being cut down may well have added to other uncertainties in her life. It looks like there's been a few stressors in recent years and each time she's not settled down after each one but just got worse & worse (house moves, favorite person leaving, trees). Routine is very important to cats, and they can take a long time to settle after changes.

You probably need to make a concerted effort to make her feel at home and safe to break the cycle, be that with a pheremone diffuser & Zylkene and/or with keeping routimes very strictly and offering her the comfort she needs. Pity about the timing of your trips, as they won't help.

Sounds like she's getting stressed of being left alone. Cats are social creatures, have you thought about getting a second cat to keep her company?
My first cat was like this and would meow at the top of the stairs even if she thought she was left alone (we'd be downstairs) and get very stressed. Got two more cats and now she's settled down a lot.

I have a very similar cat to you.

Things that have worked for us are:

For urinary symptoms- Vetpro urinary supplements, always having some Metacam around for the first sign of trouble, increasing the wet content of her diet.

For the mental health- Feliway which was brilliant but I was allergic to so sadly had to be binned, making her spend more time outside to do natural cat behaviour, keeping her mentally busy.

For being busy we learned to play properly with her using Jackson Galaxy on YouTube, changed to slow feeders so she has to work to eat and now we are training her to commands.

She's still neurotic but it is a lot lot better.

Oh yes we have a second cat. She was deeply unimpressed when he arrived but as promised by the rescue he is very submissive around her.

She now misses him when he's out. He also duffs up the other cats nearby so she has the patio to herself which is all she ever wanted.

My cat is currently on Gabapentin which is a painkiller for a separate issue, but it really calms her down too. The feliway type things (there are other brands too, I use one called, I think, pet remedy) can help as well, as you can also get calming treats.

I agree you need to give her routine and reassurance too. Is it OK for you to have her sitting on you a lot - just let her if you can. My other cat (not the stressy one) sits on me all day as I wfh.

Thanks that is helpful. I haven't heard of the supplements you mention. Where should I get them? I have had feliway plug ins in the past but not for years, can I get them at Pets at Home or somewhere similar? I got it from the vet last time. I will also look at the you tube link. To be honest , I have never had such a neurotic cat. Our last cat was bomb proof. She will be better when its warmer but she hates winter and stays indoors all the time.

Feliway you can get at PaH or I get mine on Amazon, same with Zylkene. You can also get them from most on line pet food shops. If you get Zylkene, make sure you get the 75mg (cats & small dogs) as it comes in different dosages.

Zylkene you can get from pets at home start a few weeks before the event if you can one of mine is currently taking it because its snowing he has misdirected aggression and bites his brothers if things change so yesterday I dosed him as I was moving furniture (yes he really is that neurotic) today he bit his brother because there was snow its scary and his brother jumped up by him for a look so dosed again he is currently sailing the seven zzzs watching the scary fluffy stuff

My vet recommended squeezing the contents of an evening primrose oil capsule onto our neurotic cat’s food. It did seem to help a bit.

Oh that’s interesting. I take it myself and if I run out I really notice it.

Yeah I just used the same ones I did! Just snipped the end off and squeezed it onto his food.