End of life decision

[Username9898]

My cat (nearly 14, British shorthair) has just been diagnosed with bowel cancer. It’s also metastatic so is starting to/will spread. We’re heading towards end of life and thinking about when to make ‘the decision’.
He is lost a lot of weight and is pooping a LOT. He makes it to his litter tray but is getting into a real mess. He’s an indoor cat and the layout of our house means there’s nowhere we can really confine him to other than the kitchen. If he’s left alone for any length of time we come home to a terrible mess. If we get to him we can clean him up but he HATES it. We have to try and pin him down and get all inbetween his paws. He’s starting to actively avoid us and is just starting to seem really unhappy.
We’re just wondering about when we should make the decision. It seems to early as he’s still sort of healthy - eating, getting around ok, not incontinent etc - but he’s just so miserable.

To add, the vet said that he might be ‘fine’ for months but they can’t predict when he will go seriously downhill. But I don’t want his final months to be miserable because of the constant cleaning him up and him
it being able to have free access to his favourite places in the house.

If I'm being honest, I would be making the decision sooner rather than later. I don't believe in things being undignified for an animal any more than it should be for a human. You have to give him care over and above what his normal day to day living routine would be. He isn't allowed to wander round the house as he used to and even though he may do for another few months, at what cost to him? I know it's not a nice decision to make, but if you were himand had the choice, what would you want for yourself. I'm not trying to be harsh, just realistic. I can empathise because had to take darling family dog to vets last week age 15 to be put to sleep. She was off her back feet and was lying in her own excrement unable to get up. Very much not how she normally was as a dog.....fastidiously clean and private.

It's difficult and we always want to do the very best and try all we can. I send you hugs for your difficult decision ahead.

I think knowing he's got cancer which is going to spread, realistically this is as good as he's going to be. Id be making the appointment in the next couple of weeks.

Is he unhappy without the likelihood of a quality of life improvement? If yes, unfortunately I think it’s time to make the decision. Have been there and it’s the worst but at least you can make the right decision for your cat.

Firstly I'm so very sorry. It's just awful watching a beloved pet struggle with terrible illness.

My POV is that one of the benefits of pets having owners is that we can choose to end their suffering before it becomes too unbearable. Cats are fastidious creatures and he is so miserable, he's avoiding you. That's terrible as I assume he loves you and likes to be with you normally.

Please put him out of his misery sooner rather than later. I wouldn't wait two weeks. It sounds horrible for you all.

Thank you so much everyone. You’ve all echoed what I have been thinking. That even though he is sort of ‘fine’ medically, mentally he probably isn’t. I was just so worried that it was somehow awful to end things when his body was ‘willing’. But he can’t tell me how much it hurts or how sad he is, so I have to make the decision.

Here’s a picture from happier times I think that’s the rule in here 😊

I am very much of the mind 'a day too early rather than a day too late'.

I'm so sorry you're having to make this sad decision. It's never easy. But it is within our power to bestow the final act of kindness and love to save them from an undignified and painful end to life.

My mother had a cat once who had to be given so many medications towards the end of his life that he became absolutely terrified of her and would hide and shake every time she came near him. It was a terrible way for him to end his days; she should have had him pts much earlier than she did, but she kept thinking he would get better. It was watching that poor cat suffer that has informed my decisions on my own pet's end of life care.

Your lovely boy is only ever going to go downhill. I would be looking to speak to your vet as soon as is convenient. Give him all the treats and cuddles and let him go while he still has some dignity left.

I really feel for you OP. It's awful.

Better a week too early than a day too late.

A friend sent me this when we had to make the decision - still makes me cry but very true

The Last Battle

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep, Then will you do what must be done
For this - the last battle- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest, Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years, You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend, Only, stay with me until the end
And hold me firm and speak to me Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved, From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do; We've been so close - we two - these years, Don't let your heart hold any tears.

Sitting here having the same thought exactly. Our beautiful girl has just been diagnosed with cancer of the jaw. She had her biopsy done today under sedation but the vet said it's quite clearly cancer.
My thoughts are sooner rather than later so that she doesn't suffer.

I agree with others, that it probably is time. Life doesn't sound very happy for him.

He's so beautiful. It must be unbearable

So sorry, a hard decision but you know your cat and can see his quality of life going down, trust your instincts 💐

I had to make the decision just before Xmas. My girl (14)was unable to get to the litter tray, was constantly howling for food and could no longer groom herself.

I dithered but then decided we couldn't go on like this.

It was hard, so very hard.

But - after I recovered somewhat, I realised how ill she had been, and how worried I was every day, so that brought me some comfort.

❤️