How do I prepare for the goodbye

[WhoaBettyWhite]

So I have two beautiful cats, brother and sister, we rescued them 10 years ago as stray kittens. I love them both so much, my girl is sweet and feisty but beautiful but my boy cat, he's different, he's my world..! Follows me everywhere, drinks my tea, steals my food, wakes me up at 4am just because.. but the cuddles he gives, the purring... he was destined to be part of my life..
Today, we were told he may only have a few months left with us, during his routine vaccinations 2 weeks ago, the Vet discovered he had an arrhythmia, he got referred to a cardiologist who confirmed that he has HCM, heart disease which is most likely hereditary and other than give him some tablets to thin his blood, there is no other treatment to offer, we should expect him to deteriorate shortly.
I feel as though my world has collapsed, we never expected the news to be so awful. He's absolutely symptomless, I'm looking at him trying to imagine him not being here and it doesn't make sense. he's only 10, he should have so much more time here...
The Vet said it could be as quick as a few months or a little longer, it's hard to deliver an accurate prognosis with cats, but his level of disease, it would most likely be sooner than later.
I suppose my question is, if you have ever been in a similar situation, how did you prepare to say goodbye?

I've only ever lost an animal quickly before, but now I feel as though the grief of what's to come will be so awful and long, made worse because he has no idea anything is wrong other than me crying on him, and he still looks/acts like a healthy cat..! I'm hoping for some positive thoughts or ideas that may help me through this. Thank you so much.

The only death (pet wise) I have had time to think about in advance was one of my dogs. All I could think about was making sure he was happy, and kept telling myself it was job to make sure he never had to endure pain and suffering. I kept telling myself he must know I love him. I took every day as it came, grateful to have him, gave him a few more treats, toys etc. The day did come, came home from a funeral and found he had collapsed and I just knew. I knew it was my turn to step up.

I also had a once in a lifetime cat, he was my everything, he saw me as his Mum, brought me 'luxury' presents, stayed by my side when I was ill, suckled my clothes, would come from great distances when I called him (outside). He died suddenly from heart failure. I have to admit I have never been the same since, I miss him dearly, my only regret is he died without me by his side. All I can suggest is remind yourself you need to do what is right for him, love him as much as you can while you can.

Oh OP, hugs to you, it's horrible news to get when they are your world. I have unfortunately had to deal with this a number of times for cats and other animals, the principles for me remain the same when it's not a sudden death.

I will try to be gentle. Everyone is different but this works for me.

Number one rule is don't leave it too late. Better a week too early than a day too late. If your boy deteriorates and his quality of life is poor then make the call. Don't let him suffer. We want to keep them as long as possible but if for them it means pain, discomfort or confusion then let them go. They don't have a sense of what tomorrow will bring, they live in the moment.

Where possible I've had my animals pts at home. This should be achievable if planned. Many vets now don't do home visits but there are 'private' vets who will do this (pm if you would like a recommendation). At home they are less stressed, as are you, and it can be done calmly and privately.

Once you have made the call and booked the date then make sure you give yourself time with your pet in the lead-up. If that is cuddles on the sofa, allowing them to sleep on the bed with you, treats, or whatever then do it. Make their last few days as positive as you can in your mind, I find this easier to then let them go as I feel I've had time to give them lots of love.

It's always going to be bloody awful. Sending you hugs x

Thank you both for such kind words, I'm truly grateful.
I'm so numb right now, you spend every minute preying that a medical miracle may just occur... I'll just love and appreciate him for as long as I have him left.

My girl had HCM. She had loads of medication other than just blood thinners. She did really well for nine months. You'd have never open she was so Ill.

What I found really helped at the end, was having a plan of what I wanted to happen.
I wanted it to be at the vet with her sister there. And for cremation afterwards.
It was really sad, but so peaceful and dignified for her. She had a walk around the room, then climbed into her sisters basket and sat with her till the vet came. He sister understood instantly and never looked back. I took a lot of comfort from how peaceful it was for her.

I'm noticed that my vet has a poster up advertising a vet that does home euthanasia.

Hi OP.
Hugs to you. It's awful.
I had a similar situation with my previous cat Ellie.
She was my soul cat, a little stray that had been abandoned, but ended up in a wonderful cat rescue.
She was so stressed and groomed herself almost bald on her tum.
We had her for 11 fantastic years, then she developed renal failure. Knowing she was on borrowed time was both horrifying and wonderful at the same time.
We had 2.5 years before I had to make the awful decision to have her put to sleep. She wouldn't eat the renal food, so with the vets guidance, we fed her whatever she would eat.
Because I knew our time together was limited, that time was precious and I spent more time with her and it was more intense and happier in a way, but at the same time I felt so lonely knowing what we both had to face. I still miss her after 7 years.
Try to enjoy every day with your lovely boy. Take care

Big hugs. I lost a fabulous cat when he was only 5 to kidney disease and an infection he couldn't fight off. Broke my heart.
Nothing much can make it easy, but plan how you want it to go. I keep his photo on my phone and have a special Christmas decoration I put up for him.
The anticipation is horrible but try and enjoy the moments when he's purring and happy with you. He doesn't have that sense of knowing what is ahead.

Some really great advice on this thread.
I still cry about having my girl pts, I had her for 20 years. We took her to the vets and then brought her home and it was lovely to see her so peaceful. Next day a lady picked her up to have her cremated. We then picked her up in a sleeping cat urn and the lady had also trimmed some of her fur for us.
Miss her everyday but know that she had a wonderful life. Vowed never to go through it again!
But I am convinced she sent a stray pregnant cat my way knowing I am a soft touch and the cat needed help and now I have the most wonderful cuddly ginger 5 year old cat who is a pure delight.

Thinking of you op it is really tough x

Oh thank you all so much for sharing your own experiences, some really lovely ideas there,and I send copious amounts of hugs to you all.I will definitely look into home euthanasia. He's safe and happy here, it would be much better as his sister is her too.

Toddlerteaplease, can I ask, when you lost your girl, what were her signs of deterioration? Did she just get very weak and sleep a lot?