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Original poster

Can't stop crying

14 replies

StitchIsMySpiritAnimal · 17/02/2023 21:21

TW:Loss

Not sure if it needed a warning but putting one just in case?

My beautiful tortie was put to sleep today, shortly after 5pm and my heart is broken in ways I didn't think possible. She was 11.5 yo, so although no spring chicken, I feel like I was robbed of a bit more time. However, vets found "a mass" and she had been quite unwell over the past few weeks...

I've grieved for pets before but I've never felt anything like this. I've been crying since the moments the vet delivered the bad news and I'm still going now. I know it will subside eventually but I just feel so heartbroken.

My Mum tried to ring earlier and my sister wanted to come round but I said no to both as I just don't want company. I don't really know why I'm posting on here, other than feeling sorry for myself and my poor baby.

My two girls are with their Dad, so they won't find out until tomorrow and I just feel awful they weren't there to say goodbye but I didn't want to put my gorgeous cat through any thing else. I just feel shit...😢

OP posts:
megacat · 17/02/2023 21:30

I know this feeling. When my cat died last year the loss I felt was something else. Sorry I can help other than to offer solidarity Flowers

WarningToTheCurious · 17/02/2023 21:31

Sorry for your loss Flowers - she sounds much loved. My tortie was the same, just a few months older than yours, and I felt that she was taken too early but she certainly lived a full and feisty life (I’m sure she worked through a lot of her 9 lives).

You did the right thing - when you take on a cat nobody prepares you for the day that you have to say goodbye to them. I cried buckets and even DH was teary with ours, even though we knew it was time.

DoNotEatPickles · 17/02/2023 21:35

I’m so sorry for your loss. I cried lots and walked around like zombie the day I had my last boy put to sleep. I knew him from the day he was born until he became very ill suddenly at 15 years. Still miss him a few years later, although now in a remembering him fondly way. No matter how much you know it is the right thing for them it still hurts and it is okay to grieve. They are part of the family. Hope your family are supportive and helpful when you are ready for company.

DoNotEatPickles · 17/02/2023 21:37

The Blue Cross have a pet bereavement support line that is open 8.30am-8.30pm.

Toddlerteaplease · 17/02/2023 22:30

So sorry. It's absolutely horrible. But it will pass. You will be able to remember her with a smile instead of tears, not yet maybe. The biggest thing that helped for me was getting a other cat. I didn't intend to do it so soon, but the state aligned and the right cat was waiting for me. She helped hugely.

Toddlerteaplease · 17/02/2023 22:31

My girl was only eight, and like you I felt very cheated out of the life she could have had.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 17/02/2023 22:41

❤ There's nothing I can say that will make you feel better. But like a poster above, I lost my first cat when she was quite young... Only 6 and a half years old. She was knocked down by a car. (Hit and run - they just legged it!), and one of my neighbours brought her around to me, already deceased. 😢

My other cat that we got when our deceased cat was a year and a half old, was about four years old at the time, and she just sat on her grave every day for about two or three weeks. It was devastating. Sad

I know that you'll eventually get over this - and you'll start to remember the good times. (And the almost 12 years that you had with her.) I'm sorry for you, and sorry you are so blue and so upset, and so sad and so devastated.

My heart, and my love, and my feelings go out to you. AND your beautiful Kitty who has gone over the Rainbow Bridge. Bless you both.

I hope you feel OK soon.❤

Original poster
StitchIsMySpiritAnimal · 17/02/2023 22:47

Thank you all. Just being able to say how I felt has made me feel a little better.

I'm sorry for all of your losses - it's quite amazing the impression our four-legged friends leave on us! ♥️

OP posts:
DeniseakaFatCat · 17/02/2023 22:54

StitchIsMySpiritAnimal · 17/02/2023 21:21

TW:Loss

Not sure if it needed a warning but putting one just in case?

My beautiful tortie was put to sleep today, shortly after 5pm and my heart is broken in ways I didn't think possible. She was 11.5 yo, so although no spring chicken, I feel like I was robbed of a bit more time. However, vets found "a mass" and she had been quite unwell over the past few weeks...

I've grieved for pets before but I've never felt anything like this. I've been crying since the moments the vet delivered the bad news and I'm still going now. I know it will subside eventually but I just feel so heartbroken.

My Mum tried to ring earlier and my sister wanted to come round but I said no to both as I just don't want company. I don't really know why I'm posting on here, other than feeling sorry for myself and my poor baby.

My two girls are with their Dad, so they won't find out until tomorrow and I just feel awful they weren't there to say goodbye but I didn't want to put my gorgeous cat through any thing else. I just feel shit...😢

I had to let my girl go yesterday too for similar reasons. She was 14 and had hyperthyroidism and a mass on her intestines which we believe as cancer. It was first noticed 4'ish months ago but in the last two weeks I realised she was going downhill so spoilt her rotten with all sort of treats right up until last night's appointment. I came home and sobbed like a baby so I know what your going through. Today also marks 12 years since I lost another darling cat to an RTA so that's rubbing salt in already sore wounds.

Big hugs Flowers

Panpastels · 17/02/2023 22:56

I'm so sorry x
My son's cat died unexpectedly when she (the cat) was only 5 and it broke both our hearts. Still makes me sad when I see photos of her but I know she was well loved and that is comforting.

KirstenBlest · 17/02/2023 23:00

Sorry for your loss. Flowers

When DCat died, he left more than a cat-shaped hole in my life. Got DKitten within days. DKitten isn't DCat but looking after DKitten helped me deal with the grief. I still miss DCat.

fetchacloth · 17/02/2023 23:02

I'm so sorry for your loss OP 💐
I've been there a couple of times before and it's just awful 😪

Original poster
StitchIsMySpiritAnimal · 17/02/2023 23:09

Youngest DD has always wanted another kitten/cat. DCat was always a family cat but really, they knew she was my baby, as I've had her longer than DCs 😅

I know DD will probably start talking about a new cat soon...and I can see why it would help with the grieving, to have another bundle of fluff to love upon. Must remember not to bite DDs head off, like it is disrespectful to the memory of DCats life, when she inquisitively asks when we can get another cat! 😞

OP posts:
Lovesabadboy · 18/02/2023 00:07

I am so, so sorry @StitchIsMySpiritAnimal . I know exactly how you are feeling.
We lost our beloved little girl, Pepper, in Oct 2020 when she was only 8 years old and we had only had her 6.5 years. Both my husband and I cried so much for weeks, and even now, we find it difficult to watch videos of her and can only recently look at photos of her. The pain was actually a physical hurt. All we could think about was that we had been cheated and she had been cheated out of so many more years of love and cuddles.
She was our baby and was the most loving, cuddly cat that I have ever known.
We did get another cat reasonably quickly, another rescue, to try to fill the hole left in our lives, but this one is the polar opposite of Pepper and is not terribly friendly at all - even after 2 years. She was rescued from living in a shed and having litter after litter of kittens. I can understand why she is not loving, and we try so hard to show her how to show affection, but my heart still aches for Pepper.
Sending big hugs to you.

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