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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

My darling boy killed in rta today

54 replies

Bialystockandbloom · 04/02/2023 21:57

I'm so devastated, we all are. He was only 15 months old, and he was my absolute baby. The most loving and soppy and beautiful cat, not very bright, would curl into me under my arm and under the duvet every night like a purring hot water bottle. Beautiful russian blue boy with big chunky paws and an industrially loud purr.

we had cat proofed the whole garden and the neighbours so he and his sister couldn't get into the front, but he found a way over a high gate about 5 houses up. Over the last few weeks we'd found him a few times sitting wailing on the front doorstep. But this time he'd tried to cross the road. A neighbour saw it happen, a van sped down the road, hit him and didn't stop. Only small mercy was it was instant, and the only sign was a bit of bleeding from his nose. My poor darling little boy. I've had cats all my life, but he was the most special one ever. He made friends with everyone, used to go into all the neighbours houses and make himself at home.

my children are devastated. He has a sister, I don't know how she's going to be without him. I'm kicking myself we hadn't realised he was out in the front, and that we hadn't asked the neighbour to block off his gate. All the what-ifs.

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 05/02/2023 00:07

Poor little chap.
I'm so sorry.

northstar19 · 05/02/2023 00:11

So sorry OP Sad sending you lots of love, what a beautiful little cat he was ❤️

TheFretfulPorpentine · 05/02/2023 00:25

This is so sad. He looks so lovely and so happy in the photo.

charabang · 05/02/2023 00:34

So sorry for the loss of your handsome boy. 😥

iminvestednow · 05/02/2023 00:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

iminvestednow · 05/02/2023 00:42

Sorry just appreciated this was posted in lt and not general. Sorry for your loss.

GizaBiza · 05/02/2023 00:48

Oh what an absolute sweetheart. I’m so sorry for your loss. 😿

purpleme12 · 05/02/2023 00:53

Oh my gosh I'm so so sorry OP he sounds like an absolutely beautiful cat x

extrasushiplease · 05/02/2023 01:01

I'm so, so sorry. I have three grey cats myself (my 3-legged darling and her 2 surprise babies) and before them I had Pepper, who I grew up with and she died at 21 years. It broke my heart when I lost her, but I knew I was blessed to have had so, so much time with her.

We're all sending you and your baby so much love. If nothing else, try to focus on the fact that 1) They died without feeling pain or fear 2) You gave them an amazing short life while they were here.

JL642 · 05/02/2023 01:03

He’s gorgeous. I’m so so sorry

Feliciacat · 05/02/2023 01:16

I’m so sorry for your loss. Same happened to me a year ago. I thought I’d never stop crying initially as I had been so bonded to him. I was a lot better after two weeks. I’ll never forget him and he did have a happy life and a quick death at least.

Something I found very helpful was thinking about how happy he had been in so many ways. It seems like you looked after your boy extremely well so he must have really enjoyed his life even though it was short.

As for the sister, my cat had a brother who mourned a lot for him for a month. Then he seemed to enjoy getting lots of attention after that. It’s hard to say what goes through animals’ minds but we got a cushion with our passed away cat on it and the remaining cat was mega freaked out by it. So he does remember his brother. I thought that was interesting. We’ve hidden the cushion now. Every cat is different but I think the remaining cat will mourn for a month and then be much better.

You clearly love your cats (present tense for both because your love will always exist in the present). They were/are lucky to have you. I am sorry for your loss xxx

magicthree · 05/02/2023 02:33

I am so very sorry. My thoughts are with you. Flowers

Bialystockandbloom · 05/02/2023 12:20

Thank you everyone. Really appreciate all these lovely kind words. Yes I am trying to focus on the short but happy life he had.

i'm sorry for everyone else who's lost cats too. We're so lucky to have them to share our lives with us.

OP posts:
Bialystockandbloom · 05/02/2023 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What a thoroughly unpleasant person you are. Kindly fuck off out of my thread

OP posts:
Toomanybooks22 · 05/02/2023 12:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Completely unnecessary and cruel post where ever you thought it was posted.

middleager · 05/02/2023 12:52

Bialystockandbloom · 05/02/2023 12:20

Thank you everyone. Really appreciate all these lovely kind words. Yes I am trying to focus on the short but happy life he had.

i'm sorry for everyone else who's lost cats too. We're so lucky to have them to share our lives with us.

I posted about losing my 2 year old to the road some years ago.

1.5 years ago we lost our 6 year old unexpectedly and suddenly. She had a seizure and died in front of us.

I was bereft. Like others have said, what helps is concentrating on that great, albeit short life, they had. Whenever I felt low, I thought about that.

Her basket still sits in the kitchen. Strangely, my other cat knows not to go in it! This also gives me comfort, as I can still picture her in it.

Talking to other cat lovers like this is a big comfort too, and I'm sorry that the pp came on this thread just to post such a cruel post when this has happened.

CatChant · 05/02/2023 13:02

What a beautiful cat. I am so sorry OP. It is always hard to lose them and even more so at such a young age.

Findyourneutralspace · 05/02/2023 13:29

@Feliciacat that’s interesting about the cushion. We got a Christmas bauble with my boy’s brother on it and it freaked him out too. It’s sad to think about how they must process it.

Bialystockandbloom · 05/02/2023 13:56

That's so strange about the cushion and bauble! I wouldn't have thought they could recognise each other from a picture. Cats are so amazing.

thank you all again for the lovely kind words.

OP posts:
FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 05/02/2023 15:59

It happened to us too with the Bengal. Sobbed every day for a year.

Current girl is a housecat. One day I’ll move and cat proof so she can sunbathe but this gardens a tricky shape and I’m surrounded by people with those red pointer dogs <I’m not up on dog breeds as you can tell>

cheeseislife8 · 05/02/2023 16:06

I'm so sorry for your loss OP, what a tragic thing to happen. It sounds like he's had a wonderful time in your loving family, such a shame you didn't get longer together. Thinking of you

LakeTiticaca · 05/02/2023 16:43

Over 25 years we have lost 4 cats to speeding motorists on a 20 mph road.
I feel your pain ❤

RustySprings · 05/02/2023 17:02

I'm so sorry to read this. You gave him love and a wonderful life and he obviously loved you. I hope you can take some comfort from that. Sorry for your loss 💐

Bialystockandbloom · 05/02/2023 21:54

Cats and cars are such a tragic combination :( We all know it's a risk we all take, but it doesn't make this easier. I was so anxious about this (or him getting lost/stolen) happening when we started letting them out. I looked at the cat garden netting thing but the cheapest quote I got was over £2k so we didn't do it, and thought that all the side gates etc were too high for them to get over. But cats are like water, will find a way through I guess, he was just determined.

We had buried him in a little ceremony yesterday evening, but I couldn't stop thinking about him being in the cold ground, it haunted me. So today we exhumed him and took him to the vet, they will give him a proper cremation, take a paw print and save a clipping of fur. I'm so glad we did that, and had a final chance to say goodbye. He still looked so beautiful and peaceful.

Slight (black) comedy moment when we were digging down to lift him out, got about halfway and his sister appeared and decided a freshly dug hole was a good place to have a wee 😬

Have spent all day basically crying. Have had so many lovely messages from neighbours, it turns out he has spent many hours in many other houses making himself at home. Some lovely neighbours baked us some muffins and their daughter made a gorgeous card. People are so kind.

OP posts:
Bialystockandbloom · 05/02/2023 21:56

Just a couple of other pictures of my handsome baby

My darling boy killed in rta today
My darling boy killed in rta today
OP posts:
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