My cat bit my mum, no clue what to do

[Biteycat]

My cat is about 6 years old, he lives with my mum (large grounds) and has always been a bit grumpy but he's, unfortunately, crossed a line now.

I think in general he likes to be left alone, however, he has a habit of seeking out cuddles/strokes and then will almost immediately attack you as soon as you touch him. He'll come to sit on your lap and (sometimes) if you move your hand (to pick up the remote/scratch your nose etc) he'll attack. He definitely loves tolerates my husband and me the most as he's always been ours, and in general is ok with us but still does the above on occasion.

Anyway, the other night he was sitting on my mum's lap, begging for strokes, she went to tickle his head and he properly bit her. She didn't think much of it but woke in the night in a lot of pain and in the morning needed to go to the hospital. Her hand is really swollen, she can't use it.

I'm really pissed off and have no clue what to do. What if he's like this around kids when we eventually have them? Is there anything at all I can do?

My cat bites when over excited through too much stroking. I've never thought it was a big deal to be honest. I just ask guests (especially children) not to stroke him or to stroke him only once then back off. If they continue I'm quite firm and tell them to stop. I don't want them getting hurt and I don't want to get blamed by their parents! It's fine for us. Completely manageable.

Op: Hi Vet, I need to have my cat put to sleep please.

Vet: Oh no why?

Op: Because its being a Cat.

Right, I’m moving to France. French cats must be more polite than English ones. 😂

I did think you must live outside of the U.K. with those waiting times, it’s genuinely terrible here at the moment. 20 minutes though!

In the summer (we're in France, so 35+ degrees) he's outside all the time, hardly eats and gets skinny as a rake. We've taken him to the vet at this time before, but the vet has said it's normal for cats round here.
In the winter (so now) he's hardly ever outside. He might pop out briefly in the evening but spends 95% of his time indoors, asleep. So he's definitely not out patrolling. He can get in and out whenever he pleases through various cat flaps dotted around.

As for food, he's been on just about everything. As a kitten and up until a couple of years ago he would only ever eat dry food, would always refuse wet food and even things like tuna, chicken etc if offered. Nowadays he's on pretty much only wet food and will refuse to eat dry, even if seemingly starving hungry. He'll bug me for my yogurt pots, is interested in anything that anyone is eating for lunch. I'm convinced his food needs to be changed, so I'm currently experimenting with it. He's had Felix, Whiskas, Lidl own brand, local supermarket own brand, fancy stuff from the vet. The only time I notice a difference is when he has Felix, he goes absolutely mental so I avoid that now.

Not comparable is it, being bitten by a cat than a much larger dog. How many articles have you read regarding cats mauling their owners to death.

My late cat was very grumpy when he aged, and would occasionally bite, not in a vicious way, more a warning, he didn’t have many teeth by this stage so no damage was done.

No way! The previous cats I've had have all been english, I moved to France when I was a child with english kittens and when they sadly passed, we seemed to collect a bunch of French strays - they're the bastards 😂

I know it's awful, I have family still in the UK and they're so down about it, it sounds really really bad.

Yes I do think this is a result of him being taken from his mum too early. I've no clue what happened before we found him, he appeared near my mum's when he was tiny but wasn't scared of humans and could handle stairs and a litter tray just fine. We definitely used hands too much when he was a kitten.

I'll look us Jason Glaxaxy for sure, thanks.

If he comes up to us looking for cuddles etc then yes it's on first touch, only chomping, rarely any yelling, never any hissing. If he's asleep in his bed then I can definitely stroke his head a few times and he's fine with that.

If you were a cat you'd have probably been ran over for having no common sense

Hi OP.

I work with animals - my advice would be to get him to the vets for a full health check and bloods - sooner rather than later.

There are a few things that can cause aggressive behaviour - a PP mentioned an under active thyroid, but underlying pain, arthritis, dysplasia etc. can all result in cats lashing out when touched.

If he gets the all clear I would start by playing with him a lot more, but using things like flirt poles or automated toys so that your hands are never, ever within reach of him.

You also need playing with him with your hands immediately - it's likely exacerbating the problem. He won't understand that sometimes hands are for play and other times they're not - lots of cat bites/swipes are down to overstimulation rather than true aggression so you want to keep him as unstimulated as possible.

Where did I say they were? I just hoped you don't have any. We don't need anymore people in the world who think putting a cat to sleep because it's being a cat is the right thing to do.

We have enough idiots out there.

Thank you so much, understood! Will book for him to go in asap.

Just one question about the playing though - he really isn't bothered. 9 times out of 10 he'll just stare at me and walk away, no matter what the "game" or toy is. On the rare occasions that he does want to play, I use the laser pointer most of the time and he'll seem super into it, will chase it once or twice and then wander off. I've tried encouraging him to play before, have spent far too much money on a variety of toys and he just doesn't want to. Hands as playing isn't very frequent at all anymore, will stop entirely.

He just sounds semi-feral to me OP. He spends most of his time out in the summer doing his own thing but in the winter he’s forced to be around people more than he’d probably like because he wants to be where it’s warm. Get him a heated bed in his own spot, it sounds like the only reason he’s getting on people’s laps is for heat and that’s why he freaks out when you move or touch him. Then let him get on with it and try to stay out of his way a bit and see how it goes. And don’t use your hands or body to play with cats, though I think you mentioned that you knew this.

I didn’t realize that so many people had cats that bite and scratch them. None of mine ever have, but I’m allergic and have bad reactions if they break the skin so I have to be really on top of the training/socializing when I get them.

Have two cats, one female and one male. Both rescues. The female one will sit by you on the sofa purring away while you stroke her. She does claw at you though. The male is a little fucker jumps up and wants rubbing, will role on his back looking for rubs, then grab your hand and try and bite it. He doesn't like being picked up either. He is more active than the female and plays more with the cat tree aswell as out more, That's just the way he is. I would just warn people when they come

2/4 of my cats are biters, 1 playful, 1 is an a hole.
I love them, they have character, we all (including children) know if we don't want to risk a bite, leave the cat alone.

Hmm, you might be onto something. He's not a tactile cat in general, so maybe the crux of it really is that he just wants to be left alone. He probably likes his bed in the office because it's usually quiet in there and it's near the heater. He hates when there are big groups of people socialising, so yes I think you're probably right that he's forced to socialise in his search for warmth. Will see what I can do for him.

Hope your mum's hand heals quickly.

If he's not hissing or growling at you then I don't think it's aggression.

It's good that you can stroke him when he's asleep. JG has lots of videos, plus a website, but maybe start here

My cat bit me the other day
I live cats because they are feisty and unpredictable
Just not a big deal
Love your cat and do nothing

Oh, and limit any touching to head/cheeks only.

Yeah. I soaked mine in dettol and warm water, still ended up on a ward having IV antibiotics 24 hours later.

Honestly I think you do have a problem, OP. I'm not suggesting rehoming or PTS yet but- do some serious training with the cat and the people. See if you can find a system for managing it.

It's all very well saying it's not serious, but sadly the NHS can't afford people like me clogging up the wards. I was mortified.

Some cats are a nightmare for this - ultimately you have to decide what you are prepared to accept. Otherwise rehome him to someone who is prepared to accept the cat's terms. I personally wouldn't have a cat in my house that bit because I've got small children.

If he does approach for love, can you just hold out a closed fist and let him rub his face against it? Let him touch you, rather than you touch him?

@Biteycat fair enough - if he doesn't want to play then you can't force him but definitely stop with hand play - my DH used to play with our rescue like that and wondered why he always got savaged!

WTF has "large grounds" got to do with anything??

Presumably to set the scene. To say it has a lot of ground to roam in so isn't a bored indoor cat