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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Multiple cat households - I need your help!!

7 replies

Igotthegoose · 17/01/2023 21:33

I adopted two baby girl calicos in November, with a slow introduction to my resident cat (male). He was not impressed from the start but after keeping them apart and having scent swaps and all that jazz he was slowly accepting and tolerating with a minor case of hissing now and again. They were eating their supper together within weeks when my eldest seemed like he wanted to join the kittens during their supper time.l which was a great step forward. They have all their meals together now - fine no problems when they are eating, he will even let the kittens run up against him without any hissing or yowling (they bloody adore him so clearly they find it hard to stay away and not love him)

However, over the last two weeks he has taken such a u turn! Seems stressed and bothered when they are in the same room, will hiss, meow at them even when they are on the other side of the room, and tonight he even randomly ‘ran and ambushed’ one of them. We have tried feliway optimum and supervised time which has made him seem slightly happier with the pheromones, but only if hes on my knee and I’m stroking him whilst the kittens are around - He seems totally happy and purry and in need of belly rubs and comes in for a few kisses. But if I move more than touching distance away from them he starts with the kittens and the grumpiness it’s been exhausting. I work from home so at times when they are all awake and he is home I’ve had to put my work down and tend to him.

Please tell me this will get better in time it’s driving me nuts! Is there anything else we can do? I knew there was a chance they wouldn’t like each other, but he has tolerated many cats and is normally super friendly so we didn’t think we would have too much problems. The kittens will keep their distance now if he hisses which is good they are learning to give him space, but they get excited when he comes home from his strolls and tend to want to be near him and I think that’s why he’s getting stressed again.

Picture in trade of advice and own experiences!

Multiple cat households - I need your help!!
OP posts:
roselune · 17/01/2023 21:38

Are the girls neutered yet? If not then he might be aware of them becoming more mature - actually even if they are their relationships may change as they get older.

Is there proper fighting or more that he is asserting his boundaries and pecking order?

Eastereggsboxedupready · 17/01/2023 21:45

Hello relative!!
Can you feed them all high value treats whenever they are all sat even close ish?
Worked helping our 4 ddogs get along better!

Multiple cat households - I need your help!!
Igotthegoose · 17/01/2023 22:27

Yes I am trying to give as many treats as possibly allows… but me and my DP have both said it’s almost like he fakes being a good boy until his treat and then he’s an arse again 🤣

the girls are neutered already. I was wondering whether an additional calming supplement would work for him just to keep his mood down? He’s currently making biscuits next to us whilst the girls are running around which is a good sign I think. Im wondering whether to just separate them again for a while but it would feel like a massive step back

OP posts:
Igotthegoose · 17/01/2023 22:28

It’s more of a pecking order ‘loudness’ but he has swiped a few times

OP posts:
whataboutsecondbreakfast · 18/01/2023 06:23

It's entirely normal for the resident cat to assert their boundaries.

We have three - all different ages and totally unrelated - we never did any of the scent-swapping business - just chucked them in together 🙈

We did separate them at night for a while to give the resident cat(s) some reprieve but otherwise we just left them to it. Hissing and some yowling is normal and not necessarily anything to worry about.

Igotthegoose · 18/01/2023 13:56

@whataboutsecondbreakfast

thank you for your reply. I do worry that the eldest is getting too stressed, at times he does seem really anxious by it.

last night all three fell asleep in the same room together which was a first ever! eldest was between me and my partner, and Charlotte was on my lap. That’s the closest they have seemed comfortable with each other since they arrived.

today he spent two minutes with them supervised. A bit of butt sniffing a small yowl and then he didn’t seem interested and wanted to be outside.

OP posts:
whataboutsecondbreakfast · 18/01/2023 14:02

What do you mean when you say he's stressed? Is he just being more vocal and hissy or is it something more serious?

My big fat boy was really grumpy when we got our newest kitten - he did a fair bit of hissing and yowling and smacking him out of the way. We're nearly two years in and they're really close - sleep together, wash each other, share food/water etc. I would try not to worry.

It's normal for animals to have arguments just like it's normal for humans to argue. Unless it really turns violent or their health and appetite start to deteriorate I would really try not to worry too much!

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