Is it time to let him go?

[Me20176]

Our cat is twelve years old. He’s had bleeding from his bottom for a few weeks and he has a lump there. The vet put him on various antibiotics to try to resolve an accompanying infection, which has now cleared up. The bleeding continues and the lump is still there. We are having tests done tomorrow to determine what it is.

My question is this - if it’s cancer we know we have to let him go. If it’s something else - a cyst or similar - would it be cruel to put him through the surgery required? He’s old, he has a thyroid condition which means he’s always hungry and he’s extremely bony despite daily medication. Despite this, though, he does still seem to enjoy life.

He had a cyst on his head earlier this year which cost £1500 to treat. We have to pay an excess fee on our insurance and 20% of any treatment costs. We have no money right now so this would be difficult. We don’t want to let him go, though, without giving him a chance. I keep thinking how I want him to see another spring/summer.

Other people have said it’s cruel to put him through the tests (requires sedation and leaving him alone at the vets all day, and he’s a nervous cat), then the surgery, when he’s old and not particularly well anyway. We just don’t know what to do for the best. We don’t want to let him go and then regret not giving him a chance but equally we’re conscious that the tests and potential surgery are a lot to put him through and would be financially difficult. There’s also the fact that he’s had two cysts over the last year and it feels like only a matter of time before another one appears and we’re in this situation all over again.

We’ve lost perspective so any help or advice would be appreciated.

Poor him, and poor you!

Firstly 12 isn't really old, most cats can live to late teens or even 20-odd.

BUT - you say he's a very nervous cat. I've thought long and hard about this same subject over the years as my Boycat is nervous & has "issues", and decided that any longer term treatments would cause him so much mental distress that I'd probably PTS especially as his separation anxiety is pretty pronounced. Sadly I'm facing a similar situation right now having to decide on the fine line between prolonging his life physically, but not causing him too much distress - no point in living a few weeks longer if he's miserable!

If it were Girlcat, my decision would likely be different as she's much more robust mentally.

Have you talked to the vet about the odds of it being a cyst rather than cancer? I know a lot of vets will try to gauge the owner & be more positive than maybe the situation merits. Not to get you to have more expensive treatment, but to avoid distressing you too much! I know my vet is very grateful that despite my adoration of Boycat I'm being very pragmatic about how long he has left and which treatment options would be fair for him.

Did the lump appear over night or slowly grow? Is it still growing? These are the kind of thing your vet probably asked you, as they affect the likelihood of being cancerous or "just" a cyst. Talk again to your vet, and let them know you want no sugar coating. I would ask whether his thyroid condition could affect recovery after any procedures as well.

I can't advise you on exactly what to do, only you know your cat, his tolerance levels to stress, your own feelings etc. But I will remind you of the adage "better a week too soon than a day too late".

@Allergictoironing thank you so much for taking the time to write such a considered and thoughtful reply. I’m so sorry you’re also going through something similar with your lovely boy. It’s so hard, isn’t it?

Ive had a good think about what you say - it all makes complete sense. I’ll have a chat with my husband later on. Planning to read your post to him! We will speak to the vet and ask him not to sugarcoat things and we’ll take it from there…thank you again and good luck with your situation.

I agree that 12 isn't old, but the recurring nature of these would concern me.
If it was my cat, I would want to get to the crux of the matter before deciding if the condition was going to severely impact on the animals quality of life, even if it wasn't inherently life shortening.
Repeated surgery and frequent vet trips are not ideal for any cat really.

You are more than welcome, it's such a hard thing to think about especially when you have the time to think rather than having to make an immediate decision. I've had help, advice and support on this forum since the day I made the decision that the time was finally right for me to get cats, so any help I can give is paying forwards.

I'm an ex project management specialist, so planning for all eventualities is my comfort zone. Tie that in with my ADHD and everything is researched to death (if you excuse that term in the circumstances). My current plan is once the vet and I, with a "sanity check" with my Dsis, agree it's going to only be a few more days I'll take him off the renal diet and spoil him rotten, then take him to the vet to be PTS with my DSis driving as I will be in pieces. My boss has agreed to a couple of days of leave with no notice when the time comes, as she understands that Boycat isn't "just a cat" but a dearly loved family member.

I can't add anything to Allergictoironing's post and agree with everything she says.

It really does depend on the nature of the cat. My cat Harry is pretty chilled and has gone through a lot - broken jaw, lost most of his teeth, kidney disease and heart failure. While he's got a good quality of life we'll continue to treat him.
My DM's cat George was totally different, he was so nervous I wouldn't have attempted any treatment that involved a vet visit let alone anything else. He would have been a nervous wreck and it wouldn't be fair.

@Allergictoironing , sending you and Boycat lots of purrs and positive thoughts, it's such a hard decision.

I think as he is 12 which isn't actually that old I would go for the treatment. It shouldn't be a long drawn out thing but I agree, speaking to the vet is an excellent idea. Bess of luck.

I wouldn't put him through any more surgery. He's old, in poor health anyway and wouldn't cope well at the vets. Whose interest would it be in to put him through all that? Not his.

I also agree that the best thing for him and the most sensible for you would be to not put him through the drama and trauma of investigations and treatments. It’s very sad but you have to be fair on him and realistic. I would give him a loving, dignified farewell and appreciate the good times he’s had. But it’s for you to make that decision and I wish you, and your little guy, all the best.

One thing I would say given my recent experience with Harry is to have a full conversation with the vet before making any decisions.

Good luck to you and your boy 💐

Oh and even if it is cancerous it could be possible for a complete excision without any spread. Anyway, I just wanted to say don't give up yet.

He could potentially have many more happy years left with a small surgery.

@Newuser82 I think you may be missing the point that OP's cat is very nervous, and unless you've been owned by a cat like this it's hard to realise just what an impact it makes on them just being in unfamiliar territory, without their person, at the best of times.

Cats like this get so unhappy, sometimes for days, after any vet visit - after years mine has finally got to the stage of only running away & hiding in a panic for half a day after a vet visit, initially I wouldn't see him until the following day. His pulse goes up, his blood pressure goes through the roof at the vet if I'm not in sight & touching him at all times. Putting mine through an operation then the follow up would be an act of cruelty in itself.

Add in the fact that OP's cat has another condition as well, and I can see where her dilemma is.

@Allergictoironing oh no I haven't missed that point at all. I'm simply saying that I wouldn't put to sleep any animal without first knowing what I was dealing with. If they went ahead with the surgery it could potentially be one day at the vets for e cat then a good few happy years left. Even if the cat was still anxious for a day afterwards that would be a decent trade off for me but that's my opinion to which of course you are entitled to disagree!

The important thing is the OP's talk with the vet asking for a non sugar coated assessment of the chances of it not being cancerous. If the vet says "well, 50/50 it isn't" then time to reassess, but if they say "well there's a slight chance it isn't" then realistically it most likely is. The decision has to be based on the realistic prognosis of the condition and likelihood of survival with a good quality of life. I've seen too many "hopeful" people keeping animals alive for far too long because there's a very slim chance of recovery, with it never ending well.

I couldn't agree with you more here!

Hi, OP - I just wanted to offer a hand hold. It is horrible, being certain you want to to the best for them, but not knowing what the best is.

I have it in my future - DCat3 has the same disease that suddenly and unexpectedly killed his brother. It's dormant for now so he's completely healthy at the moment, but could flare at any point.

By the time we knew anything was wrong with DCat2, it was already far too late, we had no choice but to PTS immediately. Now we know about the disease, DCat3 has very thorough 6 monthly vet checks so anything that does come up will be spotted early. Once symptoms start, it absolutely will kill him, but depending how they manifest, there are number of treatments we could choose to slow it down. It's so difficult to know how far to go, when we know there can only be one eventual outcome. I am dreading having to make that choice.

@Me20176 I had a feral kitten turn up pregnant. She had one kitten in our barn. Kitten rehomed. We kept mum. She's a nervous basket case nine years on. Terrified of grandchildren. She's been to the vets a couple of times in her life which was traumatic. Spends the summer missing for long periods of time. I don't know if I'd put her through surgery