How to tell 5 year old her cat is missing?

[Opa]

There are a few points here, please don't offer advice on the past, I know we've made mistakes with this but cannot change them now. Although I've been a cat owner before and this time it was mostly fine with one DC, it's really gone to pot with the second DC.

Young cat has been stressed on and off since just before my pregnancy - would not come in when there were visitors, which meant my husband would have to pick him up and take him up to a spare room he stays in at night which is his own space. Although not many people come by so it wasn't often. Then, when my baby was born and would cry, he would hunt around for him and sit by him and cry with him. The baby doesn't cry an awful lot anymore so it's not caused by that as much.

Although they have always been as thick as thieves, my 5 year old has recently picked up a habit from school of high pitched screaming when she doesn't get her way which would stress the cat out. She's had a stern talking to but forgets herself at times.

Two days ago, the cat was moping and crying (I think it was triggered by her screaming the night before but the crying was actually in chorus with DC2 crying), I had a conversation with my 5 year old about whether our cat could cope with loud noises, children and visitors and whether it might be fair to give him to someone older who has a quieter home because he doesn't seem well with a busy house. I feel awful about this part but I said it to try to rationalise why we might need to look to re-home him out of fairness to his wellbeing and because I wanted her to be on board since he's her pet.

Yesterday, I managed to get the cat to eat a dose of a stress relief tablet prescribed by the vet, after being unable to get him to take it on Wednesday. He seemed better, I gave him space but he had fusses from DC1 and DH during the evening. DH let him out this morning and didn't give him today's dose first thing with wet food. I've called the cat on and off all day but he's not come home. No sign of him anywhere in our garden.

We will speak to the immediate neighbours but how do I explain this to my 5 year old?

You're trying to avoid telling your kid that the cat left home because it hates the screaming that she does?

That's a tough one. The cat may return I suppose. All you can really do it be factual and sympathetic.

It's not that I'd tell her that it's her fault, she's quite intuitive and will put two and two together as to why he's not come home. She's an anxious child and I don't want her to carry any guilt over this.

One thing I didn't mention is that I thought he had a tumor a while back and took him to the vet, it turned out he was just overweight so I do suspect he's being fed elsewhere too.

I’d just say he’s not come home. Speak about it being fairly common for cats to leave and not come home for a variety of reasons. Then maybe give some examples of why the cat might not be at home that don’t involve her screaming.

I guess she’ll notice the cat isn’t at home at some point so she’ll know something is up.

He came home at 5am! He's slow but considering the weather, it seems like an odd time to return, like he's potentially been in someone and been let out.

Now I need some advice on whether we should let him out again or try and get him to stay in for a bit? He's had his tablet, fusses and treats but he's looking longingly outside the back door.

DC1 is out now but me and DC1 will be going out again once she's home so it should be relatively calm.

You will stress the cat more by shutting it in.
If someone else is feeding it, that's not necessarily a bad thing for your cat. It has somewhere else to go when it's finding your house too stressful.
Work on DD's behaviour but don't link the cat potentially leaving due to the screaming. If it does go AWOL she'll feel awful.
Phrase it more positively perhaps? See how happy and relaxed kitty is when everyone is calm and gentle...