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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

Cat biting

21 replies

Rosio · 02/01/2023 13:19

We have a cat from a rescue (previous owner and child rescued her first but can no longer keep her after 3 years)

We got her in November, we have 4yo and 2yo DC. Never had a cat before and the DC have never had a pet. She's a good girl, goes in the garden now and is affectionate, she rubs up to use all and loves a head stroke.

Sometimes for unknown reason she bites. Not hard, never broken skin or anything. But she just bit 4yo on the arm when he stroked her. She bit my hand a couple of times. I don't know if it's a friendly thing or not? I feel like it's her telling us to stop touching her? But she was laid with me on her back when she did it to me which she seemed to be enjoying.

Help me understand cats 😂

OP posts:

BIWI · 02/01/2023 13:21

If she's not biting hard, she could just be playing with you?

Alternatively she might just be telling you that she's had enough of whatever you're doing.

BIWI · 02/01/2023 13:21

This might be helpful

Deathbyfluffy · 02/01/2023 13:23

Ours does it all the time - for her it’s a friendly thing.
Good luck understanding cats - an impossible task 😁

minipie · 02/01/2023 13:28

Ours does it in two situations:

she’s playing with your hand as if it’s a toy, maybe she’s mistaken stroking for play fighting
you’re stroking her when she wants to sleep/wash/be left alone.

User963 · 02/01/2023 13:32

Our neighbours cat bites if you stroke her somewhere she doesn’t want to be touched and is accompanied with a hiss or growl. Our cat play bites DH when they play but he immediately follows the bite with a lick and there is no hissing or growling.

Original poster

Rosio · 02/01/2023 14:34

She's never hissed or growled, doesn't seem aggressive (Though she's a hell of a mouser!!)
On Christmas Day BIL who just met her that day was picking her up and cuddling her and she laid on her back for him to stroke her belly, he said he's never seen a cat so chilled out and has had 2 himself.

I'm thinking it must be a sign to stop stroking her. Or maybe she is just playing 🤔

OP posts:

Original poster

Rosio · 02/01/2023 14:36

She has bit me followed by a lick come to think of it, so maybe it was a play bite? But probably with my DC it was different maybe he stroked her back and caught her off guard so she bit as a no signal

OP posts:

Original poster

Rosio · 03/01/2023 16:02

2yo just went over to her to stroke her so I went over quickly to stroke her first so he could touch her at same time as me and she almost immediately went to bite 2yo so I pushed her face the other way so she couldn't get to him. Her bites don't hurt but I still don't like her doing it , do you think she just doesn't like him stroking her as he's young and probably been rough before so she's putt off

OP posts:

FictionalCharacter · 03/01/2023 16:23

BIWI · 02/01/2023 13:21

This might be helpful

@Rosio did you read this?

I think she’s gently saying no to you.

The fact that she’s biting your young kids but was super chilled with your BIL (who has owned cats) is a clue. He’s confident with cats and knows how to handle them, she could sense that from his body language so she trusted him. Your children are at an age when they really don’t know how to handle animals, can be too rough with them without knowing it, can move too suddenly and scare the cat, touch them in a way they don’t like, or keep giving them attention when they’ve had enough. The latter is very common. They might be the sweetest children but are simply not yet able to read a cat’s body language (which a lot of adults can’t either). So I think at least with the children she’s saying no or giving a warning. You said yourself the 2yo has probably been rough with her before. Best thing would be for you to train your children very carefully in how to behave with the cat. That needs to include leaving the cat alone at times - the child needs to accept that he might want to stroke the cat, but if the cat says no he should respect that.

Also, just because she’s lying on her back on her lap doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to be stroked!

Montague22 · 03/01/2023 23:22

Mine does a warning snap if you touch him somewhere he doesn’t like.
He also does a kind of love nibble, where he will push his head against you, roll around, purr and then do a nibble 🫤

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 04/01/2023 07:41

It sounds like she's telling you "no".

She may be affectionate and rub herself on you but that doesn't meant she wants to be stroked and cuddled.

Do your children give her a chance to move away or show that she's not interested? You should always hold your hand out and let her sniff you first - if she goes to rub on you then fuss her - if not, let her be.

It's also important to stroke her a couple of times and stop - then see if she wants more or whether she'd rather walk away.

Montague22 · 04/01/2023 07:44

I agree it sounds like a warning bite.
My cat love bites occur when I’m not stroking him which is why I see them as a grooming/affectionate/marking thing.

Beamur · 04/01/2023 07:56

I think from what you have said the cat likes to be around people and is quite confident and relaxed but doesn't want your 2 yr old to stroke her. It's a warning.
I would try and discourage your kids from picking her up and keep fuss quite short. One of my cats is hugely friendly and affectionate but has quite a low threshold for fuss and gets over stimulated quite quickly. It's easy to read when he's had enough but will quickly move to a warning bite if you don't stop in time. He's also a rescue and isn't keen on children. His previous owners had young children and commented he was quite bitey.

Greenfairydust · 04/01/2023 08:28

I am afraid that is what cats do!

They can get fed up with people handling/petting them too much or the wrong way and give a little warning they had enough. Or the cat could be playing.

My last cat was a rescue cat and I did get a fair amount of little bites and scratches especially while she was still settling in.

You have only had the cat since November so it is still recent, also two small kids who are new to handling cats might be a bit overwhelming for your rescue. Give her time to settle and try to teach your kids that the cats does not want to be touched all the time.

Wolfiefan · 04/01/2023 08:32

Most cats will bite if you try and stroke their tummy.

MissVantaBlack · 04/01/2023 08:35

You mentioned her lying on her back when she bit you...were you tickling her tummy? Cats look very inviting when they lie on their backs, and of course dogs generally love a tummy rub, but most cats hate it! Mine gets a wild look in her eyes, her ears go back and then she will bite so we never tickle her tummy now.

Beamur · 04/01/2023 09:55

I read somewhere that the belly display is to show they trust you. It's not an invitation to rub it.
Tempting though it is!

User963 · 04/01/2023 09:58

I’d say the head is the safest part of a cat to stroke between it’s ears. Preferably not with your hand over its face. A lot of cats don’t really like small children and are quite scared of them, especially if they didn’t grow up as kittens around them.

User963 · 04/01/2023 10:33

I like this handy guide 😂

Montague22 · 04/01/2023 13:12

The thing with that guide is one of mine took ages to let you anywhere near his face! Under chin an absolute no no. Probably applies to the majority though!

Mia184 · 04/01/2023 20:34

User963 · 04/01/2023 10:33

I like this handy guide 😂

My cat absolutely agrees with this guide! 😃

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