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Anyone with veterinary knowledge able to help me understand this? (TW pet death)

17 replies

petlossheartbreak · 16/12/2022 18:50

NC for this. My cat had to be put to sleep two days ago and I’m still gutted and can’t stop crying and analysing what happened. I’d welcome any thoughts from anyone with a veterinary background. (Just to stress, DH and I are completely happy with how our vet treated the cat - what I’m struggling with is whether there is anything we could have done differently at home to prevent this, or any info that might help me understand it.) Apologies in advance as this may get long.

Paws was a 7-year-old Maine Coon. He survived an episode of acute renal failure three and a half years ago; at the time he was given only a 10% chance of survival but he came through it. We don’t know what caused it (our cats are allowed outside, so we’re not able to fully monitor the things they do.) After that he had his bloods monitored every 3-6 months and they were nearly always satisfactory, occasionally his kidney values would creep up but then they’d settle again.

This year he seemed to have a run of poor health - first pancreatitis (which he had to be hospitalised for, but survived) then later in the year he developed a herpes infection and had an eye discharge which we treated with the appropriate ointments. This mostly seemed to clear up (although one of his eyes still discharged on the odd occasion) but I gather once a cat contracts this condition it stays for life and I have read that it can lead to other conditions.

Over the last couple of weeks it seemed at times as if Paws was under the weather, and he didn’t always come for his meals (and sometimes ate less when he did come) but it was very difficult to tell what was going on because at other times he seemed totally his normal self - purring, interested in food, wanting strokes, playful/affectionate etc.

At one point we noticed some weight loss and started to watch him more closely, his appetite seemed to be picking up, but we made an appointment with the vet to be on the safe side. That was on Monday of this week. They couldn’t fit us in till Wednesday but advised us to bring him in sooner if he seemed to deteriorate.

Monday evening DH noticed some odd behaviour when Paws was trying to eat, like it was difficult for him to eat and breathe at the same time, so he took him in. They couldn’t tell what was wrong, did bloods and they seemed fine, but an ultrasound and subsequently a CT scan the next day revealed pneumothorax. We don't know what caused it - no injuries as far as anyone was able to tell so I think the vet was going with the theory that he had an infection of some kind, possibly pneumonia. (Cancer was discussed as a possibility but apparently the vet who viewed the CT scan result considered it less likely than infection.)

Vet showed us/explained the scans. A lot of air/fluid in each lung and Paws’s breathing was obviously affected but he was still in good spirits, social/friendly etc, but the vet also told us the lungs themselves looked in poor shape. Later that afternoon vet managed to remove most of the air/fluid, but Paws’s breathing worsened and we were called. Just as we arrived, he crashed and had to be put to sleep. 😿😿😿

I realise there must be a whole ton of variables in the mix here and I also realise no two cats are alike health-wise, but I can’t seem to stop hashing over this in my mind and wondering whether there’s anything we could have done differently. The vet said there wasn't, but I can't help thinking we must have been missing signs/symptoms at home as I just don’t understand the speed of the lung deterioration at the end. I’d welcome any thoughts or opinions anyone is able to give. Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Anonaymoose · 16/12/2022 19:07

Oh I'm so sorry OP, it's incredibly hard losing them quickly like that. I'm a vet nurse, one of my own cats died in similar circumstances. You can imagine how bad I beat myself up for not noticing anything untoward. There's honestly nothing different you could have done. You sound like a very responsible and attentive pet owner and you sought medical attention when needed. That is all you can do. Sometimes these things just happen and we never know why. Flowers

Toddlerteaplease · 16/12/2022 22:00

Spontaneous pneumothorax's happen I. Humans. So presumably they can happen in cats. It doesn't sound like you missed anything.

VeryQuaintIrene · 16/12/2022 22:03

Cats are notoriously good at hiding anything wrong with them until what's wrong has progressed to a stage where it's hard/impossible to treat, so please don't beat yourself up. I'm sorry for the loss of Paws.

Random789 · 16/12/2022 22:14

You did everything right. You were responsible and attentive and it doesn't sound like there was anythng more you could have done.

Sadly, this agonising, this self-torment about what you could/should have done differently, is just an aspect of grief, one of the ways in which we are paralysed by sudden loss. If you saw it in someone else who had experienced such a loss you would see it instantly for what it was, and you would tell them to be kind to themselves, and to know that this horrible circle of thoughts will fade with time.

petlossheartbreak · 17/12/2022 11:10

Thanks everybody for your comforting words and advice, it really does help. I've been doing my best not to agonise/second-guess my actions, it's still very hard but I'm hoping it'll get easier with time.

OP posts:
Allergictoironing · 17/12/2022 11:42

My friend lost his cat a couple of years ago very suddenly - 7yo cat, perfectly healthy, had been vet checked only 4 months before, friend found him dead on the hall floor.

Had a post mortem done, turns out the cat had a congenital heart defect which wouldn't have shown up at the vet check and there would have been no signs to alert anyone, just one of those things. It took my logical, rational, intelligent friend months to stop agonising over whether he could/should have done anything differently even though he knew logically there was nothing.

So your feelings are perfectly normal, even if you know that they aren't rational. I think it's amazing that you got him through CKD and gave him another 3.5 happy years. My 8yo boy has just been diagnosed with that, and I've done all the soul searching about whether I could have done anything differently. Indoor cat, very careful with food, regular health checks including one 6 months before I took him to the vet (because he'd lost some weight), but it took a fair bit of internal wrestling with myself before I got to the stage of accepting that I'm likely to have well under a year left with him (stage 4) and there was nothing I could have done differently to prevent it.

It sounds like your lovely boy probably had some genetic problems that caused the various conditions, and there's certainly absolutely nothing you could have done about that. I am so very sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you.

petlossheartbreak · 17/12/2022 13:10

Allergictoironing · 17/12/2022 11:42

My friend lost his cat a couple of years ago very suddenly - 7yo cat, perfectly healthy, had been vet checked only 4 months before, friend found him dead on the hall floor.

Had a post mortem done, turns out the cat had a congenital heart defect which wouldn't have shown up at the vet check and there would have been no signs to alert anyone, just one of those things. It took my logical, rational, intelligent friend months to stop agonising over whether he could/should have done anything differently even though he knew logically there was nothing.

So your feelings are perfectly normal, even if you know that they aren't rational. I think it's amazing that you got him through CKD and gave him another 3.5 happy years. My 8yo boy has just been diagnosed with that, and I've done all the soul searching about whether I could have done anything differently. Indoor cat, very careful with food, regular health checks including one 6 months before I took him to the vet (because he'd lost some weight), but it took a fair bit of internal wrestling with myself before I got to the stage of accepting that I'm likely to have well under a year left with him (stage 4) and there was nothing I could have done differently to prevent it.

It sounds like your lovely boy probably had some genetic problems that caused the various conditions, and there's certainly absolutely nothing you could have done about that. I am so very sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you.

So sorry to hear about your boy @Allergictoironing, it is heartbreaking isn't it. Thanks for your kind words about Paws.

OP posts:
Rapunzel22 · 17/12/2022 13:16

It's perfectly understandable to think like this. I had one cat PTS earlier in the year and I still agonise about whether I was standing in the right position and she could see me properly. It's stupid I know. Hope you soon feel better. Think about the 7 great years you gave your kitty x

petlossheartbreak · 17/12/2022 19:58

Rapunzel22 · 17/12/2022 13:16

It's perfectly understandable to think like this. I had one cat PTS earlier in the year and I still agonise about whether I was standing in the right position and she could see me properly. It's stupid I know. Hope you soon feel better. Think about the 7 great years you gave your kitty x

So sorry about your cat. I think these thoughts are natural, as you say. Thanks for the kind words. x

OP posts:
AssumingDirectControl · 17/12/2022 20:18

I’m so sorry. You feel like this because you loved him and cared for him, and it sounds like he had seven lovely years because of you.

I lost a young cat suddenly to cardiomyopathy aged only 18 months, that was ten years ago and I still shed a tear over him. I went out for an hour to do some shopping and found him on the floor when I got home. I spent a while agonising over it, whether there was anything I could have done. The post mortem helped me to realise that there wasn’t anything which could’ve prevented it.

petlossheartbreak · 17/12/2022 21:21

AssumingDirectControl · 17/12/2022 20:18

I’m so sorry. You feel like this because you loved him and cared for him, and it sounds like he had seven lovely years because of you.

I lost a young cat suddenly to cardiomyopathy aged only 18 months, that was ten years ago and I still shed a tear over him. I went out for an hour to do some shopping and found him on the floor when I got home. I spent a while agonising over it, whether there was anything I could have done. The post mortem helped me to realise that there wasn’t anything which could’ve prevented it.

So sorry to hear that. We lost a cat to cardiomyopathy once, he managed to get to age 6 but his last year of life was beset by illness. It's a horrible disease and we eventually found our boy dead too, the end seems to come very suddenly with that type of condition. It's true, sometimes there's nothing we could have done. Thanks for your kind words.

OP posts:
Firkinhavinalaugh · 22/12/2022 17:06

OP I’ve today had to make that decision. Cat had been a bit quieter but was still chatting this morning. I found him on the floor at lunchtime with erratic breathing. I’m now sitting here wondering why I didn’t take him to the vet a week ago when he seemed out of sorts, yet not so out of sorts that I thought something was wrong.

As I was with him at the vets he deteriorated rapidly and we had him pts as there was nothing we could do.

I feel horribly guilty and really sad. My children are devastated and I Cant stop sweeping. My head hurts and my heart hurts. I’m hugely grateful to our vets who dropped everything to see us straightaway.

so I feel your pain x

Firkinhavinalaugh · 22/12/2022 17:07

That would be weeping, except obviously I Cant see properly!

petlossheartbreak · 23/12/2022 10:13

Firkinhavinalaugh · 22/12/2022 17:06

OP I’ve today had to make that decision. Cat had been a bit quieter but was still chatting this morning. I found him on the floor at lunchtime with erratic breathing. I’m now sitting here wondering why I didn’t take him to the vet a week ago when he seemed out of sorts, yet not so out of sorts that I thought something was wrong.

As I was with him at the vets he deteriorated rapidly and we had him pts as there was nothing we could do.

I feel horribly guilty and really sad. My children are devastated and I Cant stop sweeping. My head hurts and my heart hurts. I’m hugely grateful to our vets who dropped everything to see us straightaway.

so I feel your pain x

I'm so sorry to hear that. It's devastating, isn't it.😢

In Paws's case, the vet urged us not to blame ourselves, naturally as responsible pet owners we do so anyway, but our vet pointed out how cats 'mask' illness and how hard it can be to tell anything's significantly wrong. Certainly in Paws's case he was giving the impression that if he had had anything, he was getting over it - his behaviour was so normal most of the time. The vet even felt that if we'd brought him in sooner it's unlikely the problem would have been showing up, as it had developed so suddenly (I don't think his immune system was functioning correctly and this won't have helped - maybe there was an issue there with your cat too?).

I guess all we can do is know these things can strike out of the blue and matters can be taken out of our hands, but it's such a massive shock isn't it, and the worst thing is it means our questions about what went wrong go unanswered. I'm still gutted about the loss of Paws, and finding myself questioning even though I try not to, so I can absolutely relate.💐

OP posts:
Firkinhavinalaugh · 23/12/2022 15:03

It is indeed, I keep looking for him around the house, or seeing his bowl or thinking I hear him at the door meowing to be let in.

He was a talking might, always chatting from chirrups to full on swearing like a sailor.
He’s going to be so missed, but I’m glad we were here, that he stayed to be with us and that we all got the opportunity to say goodbye. It was very unexpected so has taken us all by huge surprise. I think he’s left a gap we won’t ever quite fill again.

petlossheartbreak · 23/12/2022 23:02

Firkinhavinalaugh · 23/12/2022 15:03

It is indeed, I keep looking for him around the house, or seeing his bowl or thinking I hear him at the door meowing to be let in.

He was a talking might, always chatting from chirrups to full on swearing like a sailor.
He’s going to be so missed, but I’m glad we were here, that he stayed to be with us and that we all got the opportunity to say goodbye. It was very unexpected so has taken us all by huge surprise. I think he’s left a gap we won’t ever quite fill again.

I bet. He sounds like he was a character.

OP posts:
Girliefriendlikespuppies · 23/12/2022 23:07

My 7yo cat had to be put to sleep as he very suddenly developed liver failure, he'd had a few other health problems, the main one being diabetes but the sudden deterioration was so unexpected.

I was exactly the same and kept wondering if I could have done anything differently, it's been a few years now and I accept it was just one of those things sadly.

I'm sorry for your loss, you sound like a lovely caring owner and you did all of the right things.

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