Why do my “bonded” cats seem to hate each other?

[Catingle]

We’ve recently adopted a “bonded pair” of cats (a boy and a girl) from a rescue. They aren’t related but apparently got on very well in the rescue and were put together. We were told the used to nuzzle each other, sleep together etc. They were in the rescue for ages because they were insistent they should be homed together.

So now we’ve had them for two weeks. They’re very confident cats, have settled really well with us, love attention etc. BUT they just don’t seem to get on with each other. Particularly the girl cat attacks the boy - she tries to fight him, hisses at him, swipes at him if he comes close. The boy is a sweetie and seems completely bewildered by this behaviour.

What’s going on? And is there anything I can do to encourage them to become friends again?

I have had the same problem with littermates who were previously very close. The male attacks the female and stalks her. Both are neutered and we have tried all sorts to try and help. We can’t work out where it all went so wrong.

My littermate cats don't get on either. As tiny kittens they played together and cuddled up together to sleep. However, as they matured the boy cat became stronger than the female, and I think his rough playing scared her and she became very defensive in his presence, behaving exactly as you describe your female cat doing. I don't think the the boy cat really understands why she swipes at him and warns him away- he likes to play rough though and she's not impressed! She's a lady!

My rescues were a bonded pair. They seemed to hate each other at first. Same as yours-the female was lashing out at the very confused male. We’ve had them over two years now and they were back to being friends and snuggling within six months or so.
I think it was because the girl was very anxious, she’s quite timid and took time to settle with us. The male is very confident, loved us instantly and became best mates with our dogs very quickly. I found her behaviour towards him mellowed once she decided that we’re ok and she liked living with us.

New environment rocked the boat a little bit? I'm sure they'll be back to normal in a few months. My two frequently fall out but go back to snuggling

Have you tried Feliway Friends or similar type of thing? I would guess it's to do with moving to a new home, new environment, new people etc and calming pheromones' may help them (especially her) settle more quickly

I think that the term 'bonded' is used as a code by rescues to mean 'oh bugger, we've too many cats, how can we con people into taking two'.
We were offered two black litter mates from Battersea, they had to go together because they were bonded.

Battersea saw us coming , they got rid of two black kittens & they bloody well weren't bonded anyway. 🤣.

We adopted a mum and kitten daughter last year, first couple of months they were gorgeous, grooming, snuggling and generally being adorable.

Now mum is 2 1/2 and daughter is 15 months and they can't be in the same room without hissing or snarling. It's really sad and I'm hoping it will change once daughter stops being a 'teenager '.

It'll just be the change of environment. Try feliway friends and make sure they have plenty food bowls and litter trays dotted around. There's a supplement called nutracalm that can be helpful too (for the female).

Cats hate everyone and every thing. Its an occupational requirement.

I had two brothers from a rescue. Neutered, obviously. They were inseparable until the dynamics changed (we got a second dog) and then suddenly decided they hated each other. One (the loser of most fights) effectively moved out until the other died (accident), DH jokes the one we have left killed the other (he didn't, obviously). Cats are weird sometimes, I hope yours make up.

Cats are territorial so they're establishing who gets what cushion, high spot, water bowl. Once that's established it should ease up. My two have periods of squabbling but then "make up" and touch noses and greet each other.

Oh. Turn the heating off, they'll soon be cuddling up with each other

Really hard to offer advice with no photo ...

I adopted two sister and was told exactly the same thing. Although there were no actual fights. They didn't really like each other. The only time they ever were close was if they were frightened. And when one was put to sleep I took her sister along and she really comforted her at the end.
Got another cat. And they get on much better. And totally work together to gang up
On me!

I think they needed each other as security, but once they felt secure with me, they no longer needed each other. One was very dominant and bossy!

Just what I was going to say.

This is so similar to our cats (apart from one of ours took over 6 months to even start to settle here). They were rehomed as a pair because apparently they were really close when in their temporary home with loads of other cats but here they barely tolerate each other, and it's been 4 years so I doubt anything is ever going to change now.

So they met in the rescue and have never lived in a home environment together until now?
Now they have territory to defend and pecking order to sort out. Give them time, they'll establish themselves and it will settle down again.

Ha. I also have acquired two black cats that the rescue enthusiastically insisted were “friends”.

They were not.

I had this problem with my cats, they were brother and sister and had been together their whole lives cuddling up to sleep etc but one evening the male flipped out and starting viciously attacking his sister to the point where they had to be separated for a week while he was given Prozac by the vet to calm him down. (He also attacked my then boyfriend who he’d known since birth and would only calm down if I was with him) After that they tolerated each other but were never close again and another incident occurred a few years later when he tried to attack her and I had to separate them again (not easy in a one bedroom apartment!) The best our vet could tell at the time was that the male had had a small stroke which changed his personality, he was on medication to calm him down for a while and although they did live together until he died, she was always very wary of him afterwards and they never cuddled or even sat next to each other again. It was quite traumatic for all of us and it has completely put me off getting 2 cats in the future as I couldn’t go through that again but I think in our case it was medical so hopefully yours will get better with time!

i don't think there is such a thing as bonded cats. One of them will always try to get the upper hand over the other.
I only had one cat - ginger Tom who was sweet and loving to every other cat he met, the rest were just complete bastards.
Currently got two, an elderly cat and a one year old.
So far the elderly cat has always been the boss, now the kitten waits until she is asleep then belts her round the chops, much hissing and chasing ensues.

When mine were younger they were quite affectionate (brother and sister littermates). Now they barely tolerate each other. They are like a stereotypical old married couple trying to avoid each other as much as possible. They do still groom each other but it always ends in a fight. The boy has friends outside of the house, the girl hates all other cats but begrudgingly permits her brother to co exist with her.

I have a mother & son also from rescue, rehomed together!
They do lots of nose bumps with each other, but also chase & play & fight sometimes!
They also have some shared areas & some zones of the house where one goes but not the other! I find it quite fascinating!

Who's in charge also seems to change on a daily basis!

We had this problem when we moved our cats. We had rescued them both (separately) when we lived in the Middle East and they got on fine - really affectionate with each other etc. We relocated to SE Asia and because of covid we had to leave them with a friend for a month then they were in quarantine for a week. When we got them to our new home they hated each other. Female constantly hissing at the male and wouldn't go anywhere near each other. It took them about 6 months to calm down. Now they are ok - they have the odd soar when the male goes a bit far when they're playing. We have moved and our new place is a bit more spacious so I think they're getting on better as they've got more room. They're playing nicely now as I speak so it will just take time - hopefully it'll sort itself out for you.

Yes, as PP said the move will have upset them, more so than you will be able to tell. Feliway, make sure they have at least two litter trays, they will settle down in time.

For those suggesting no such thing as bonded cats, mine truly are. A year as part of a feral colony, then a year of nobody wanting 2 shy black cats at the rescue, probably heled that! 6.5 year after them coming home, they still share almost everything.

They sleep at least in the same room & usually cuddled up together. They follow each other around the house acting like the Siamese in Lady & the Tramp. They share the same litter tray - I do have another identical one, but they have never used it. They eat from the same bowl, or swap around during a meal. They take turns initiating & ending play fights. The only things they get possessive about are fresh catnip toys and treats like Dreamies & Webbox Sticks. Oh, and the one time I had mice in the conservatory - Boycat was VERY possessive about his still living toy and actually growled at Girlcat!