Child jealous of kitten

[Happymummys]

Hello. We’ve had our kitten since she was 12 weeks old. She’s almost 6 months old now. It took our kitten around 4-6 weeks to settle in and stop hiding under the sofa when someone entered the room or sneezed etc! She’s now a very happy, sociable cat. Loves to play and is so well behaved.

The issue is the cat seems to have taken a liking to me in that I’m the only one whose lap she lays on. She will happily sleep for hours on my lap.

Assuming because I work from home so am with her the most.

One of my daughters gets very jealous that the cat won’t lay on her lap like she does mine and asks why she only lays on my lap.

I haven’t done anything special. If anything I just let her get on with it while I work.

I do tell my children (aged 10, almost 11 so old enough to understand) to play with the cat to bond and not just try to constantly pick her up as this results in the cat running from them because she just assumes she’s going to be picked up. I tell them when she goes near them to not pick her up but play with her if she wants to be played with, reach a hand out for a sniff etc and stroke.

Im not sure I can do anything else to encourage the cat to lay on my daughters lap instead of mine but I’m fed up of falling out with my daughter over it as I’m not purposely making the cat sleep on me and not her. Sorry for the rant, just feeling a bit fed up over it.

The problem is, cats under about 16 weeks old shouldn't be singletons. You end up with a cat with single kitten syndrome. It's a pity wherever you adopted her from didn't advise you of that. Amongst other problems you get a cat that needs a partner, a pal, a cuddle buddy. Quite simply, you are it. There is very little you (or your daughter) can do. Cats are not like dogs, bribery doesn't always work, they like who they like and your daughter is old enough to accept that.

Having said that... get your daughter to feed her whenever she wants it and especially when it is treat time (catnip treats, the Dreamies with catnip are excellent), and play with her. That might create a bit of a bond. It might be a bit mean, but tip the cat off your lap at every opportunity that your daughter is sitting on the sofa with a nice soft blanket on her lap and see if that works.

But in reality, cats are cats, and they like who they like... 😹

We adopted her from a rescue. Having had two cats previously (brothers) pre-kids who constantly fought, I knew we only wanted one plus our home isn’t big enough and again, she’s rarely left alone.

My daughter is in charge of feeding the cat, treats included.

I won’t lie, I love her laying on my lap. It’s my daughters jealousy over it that’s getting beyond. I’ve said I can’t do much about it. The cat will lay where the cat wants to lay!

Our cats always prefer my DH. He doesn't do anything different to me, cats just seem to like him.

Our kitten comes to me for day cuddles 🤷🏽‍♀️

We have 2 other young cats but he likes his mummy cuddles when he wants to sleep.

Cats just have their favourites - there's not much you can do about it. Though I do find if I ignore mine, they're more likely to come for a proper cuddle - if I pick them up, they tolerate it for a bit then bugger off 🤣

“I haven’t done anything special. If anything I just let her get on with it while I work.“

This is exactly what you have done special and something children find hard. Do you have toys they can pull around to play with the kittens, that is the easiest way to encourage them to interact without picking them up.

Some cats are happier as single cats, it's undeniable, so I wouldn't stress about just having one.

I understand your dd is jealous, I probably would be too, but, brutally, she's going to have to grow up.

Sounds like she's used to cats so it's not rocket science. Your cats personality means she prefers you (at present), that might change in future. But sounds like your dd is going to have to learn the hard way that you can't force a cat to do anything and if she wants to have a better bond, she'll need to put in the work.

My cat sits on my partner's lap in an evening when it starts getting cold. I've got restless legs which start off in the evening.

However our cat sits as close to me as he can when I'm sitting in bed reading my iPad when I don't have to get up in the morning.

Have you tried a blanket on ur lap, so smells of both you and the cat. Your child could then try putting the blanket on their lap, and the cat may settle?

My mother had five cats for much of my childhood.

One of them decided as a tiny kitten that almost as soon as she emerged from under the bed where next-door-but-one's-cat gave birth to a litter that she was mine. Her almost identical sister didn't think much of me at all and was perfectly happy to share the space around my mother with the three other cats, but My Cat sat on my lap everyday, rode around on my shoulder like a parrot and slept with me every single night of her life.

In a similar way, the fluffy arsed one I have now put me firmly down the bottom of her ranking system behind small children, bigger children, visiting friends and any random workman that happened to come into the house. The only being to rank lower than me is the Wee Furry Shite tabby that she just about grudgingly tolerates these days - she's about 148 in cat years, so it's too much effort at her age to slap him every single time he looks at her funny.

It took her 12 years and everybody else to grow up and move out to decide she actually loves me - and then, just to rub it in a bit, took 4 hours to decide that she liked my then new boyfriend enough that she wanted to sleep on him every night, the fickle little ratbag.

The Wee Furry Shite, however, is utterly my cat, even though he also loves DP, give him a choice and he'll always be close to me - even if he's sleeping on DP, he'll reach out his paws so he's touching me as well.

Cats choose their people through a convoluted and known only to cats formula - she might change her mind as your DD gets older, especially if she does treats, toys and food consistently.

@NeverDropYourMooncup that is hilarious and oh so familiar.

My old girl chose me. When I returned to work and DH was home far more she would be all over him until I walked in at watch point she lept off

And utterly blanked him.

Took 7 years before we had equal ranking and she would no longer dismount his shoulder/lap/arms if I appeared

🤣

I never let the cats sleep with us as she wanted to be attached to my head 🙄

Bed hat was how the Wee Furry Shite convinced DP that it's actually a really good thing to allow cats to sleep in the bedroom.

DP had only ever had outdoors cats where he grew up in the arse end of the arse end of the moors, so didn't really like the Fluffy One perching on him and was already twitchy at night from anxiety, made worse when WFS would announce his presence by reaching out a claw or eight from behind my knee where he'd sneak in later. One cold night, he decided to come up between the two of us and make himself comfortable between the pillows when DP was already asleep. I've been sleeping with at least one animal on the bed since I was five years old, so didn't think anything of it - if anything, I find it harder to sleep without an animal around.

DP woke up after sleeping for six hours solid (first time for months) with the full weight of WFS purring on the top of his bald and cold head like a self heating massage wig - and promptly went back to sleep for another 3 hours.

Clever things, cats.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

It was the kneading and hair washing

🤮

All cats firmly shut away for the "big sleep" overnight.

Took the current lady of the hers 3 weeks to accept she couldn't open the door and that I would ignore her yelling.