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Original poster

Just found out 5mo boy kitten is actually not a boy...

29 replies

HelloTreacle9 · 17/10/2022 14:59

I'm a bit in shock after a visit to the vet to have jabs, checkup and book in neutering. Our 5mo kitten, who we acquired at 12 weeks on the basis that he was a boy, is apparently actually a girl, which hadn't been picked up on previous vet visits. So obviously completely different neutering process.

We specifically looked for a boy for some time because we sadly lost our older chap earlier in the year and my 13yo DS, who adored him, was desperate for another little chum.

We obviously love the new cat, very sweet fluffy little thing who follows me around like a squeaky shadow with sharp teeth, but it's really thrown me. Not sure what to say to the kids later. The name is neutral so don't need to do anything about that but I can't get used to the new pronouns and am seeing the cat completely differently with this knowledge, I don't know why.

We've always had a boy and a girl cat - and the surviving sister of our cat who died absolutely hates the kitten. Vet said it's probably because she knows the kitten is another girl even if we didn't!

My DH thinks its hilarious and said we could just treat the kitten as trans (!) and keep male pronouns while making sure he/she gets the right healthcare for her biological sex.

Does it even matter?! Anyone had similar or advice/thoughts on how to handle the situation?

OP posts:
Medoca · 17/10/2022 15:05

I don’t think it matters, the cat doesn’t know what you call it!

TheYearOfSmallThings · 17/10/2022 15:07

Oh it doesn't matter. You can raise the kitten as a boy and nobody will know the difference.

AllTheWatersTurnedToClouds · 17/10/2022 15:08

30 odd years ago DH was given a boy kitten by his sister. Unimaginatively named him Tom.

Tom had a litter of kittens a year or so later Grin

Tom got done, and stayed Tom, which is an odd name for a girl, but no one cared

2pinkginsplease · 17/10/2022 15:11

We had a hamster once called Harry, when harry died we got another hamster who was a boy too called Bobby. That’s when we realised that Harry had definitely not been a boy and was most definitely a girl

Anothernamechange3 · 17/10/2022 15:13

2pinkginsplease · 17/10/2022 15:11

We had a hamster once called Harry, when harry died we got another hamster who was a boy too called Bobby. That’s when we realised that Harry had definitely not been a boy and was most definitely a girl

This made me laugh, it’s definitely obvious when it’s a boy hamster! I was quite shocked when we adopted ours —and they drag on the floor behind him when he walks—

Strawberry0909 · 17/10/2022 15:13

My mum's cat went in to be neutered, they rang her up to say he was a she, despite previous vet visits!mum was bit gutted as she had a male and wanted a female, but a quick letter change in his name and no ones the wiser :)

Strawberry0909 · 17/10/2022 15:15

Oh I got that so wrong! She turned out to be a he!

Sparklfairy · 17/10/2022 15:16

This happened to my DM when I was a baby. Thought she got two boy kitten (Leo and Max) and turned out to be two girls (Lelo and Max!).

You just need to get your head around it and move on. It might take a day or two but it's still the same kitten! I've had cats all my life of both sexes and neither is better than the other.

Theoldwoman · 17/10/2022 15:16

We had the opposite.

OUR DD bought a wee girl kitten last year at age 8 weeks. By twelve weeks I had my doubts on gender and did some googling. Next vet visit confirmed she was in fact a he. DD cried for awhile then got over it.

CheeseyOnionPie · 17/10/2022 15:18

At 5 months old my boy kitten had prominent testes, couldn’t miss them!

BarbaraofSeville · 17/10/2022 15:18

It's not always easy to tell when they're tiny, although you would expect to notice between 3 and 5 months old.

We foster and have had a few recently where we or someone else got the sex wrong, we currently have one that was sexed and given a very feminine name by someone else, but we're now fairly certain is a boy.

I wouldn't be bothered from a 'pet' point of view, we've had dozens of cats over the years and there isn't always much correlation between sex and personality.

However it does seem to matter more between the cats and out of boy/boy boy/girl and girl/girl pairs we try to avoid girl/girl pairs when rehoming because they're most likely to grow up hating each other. What to do with your kitten and older cat, I don't know. Sometimes even if they don't end up to be besties, they learn to happily stay out of each other's way and share the available space, but other times they'll be constantly at each other because they both want the same bed/room/bit of garden as theirs and theirs alone. It's hard to tell.

Although we have one boy and 4 girls of our own and they all love each other very much.

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 17/10/2022 15:18

As the owner of a dog who spends half his life rolling around on his back, this baffles me 😂.

Suzi888 · 17/10/2022 15:20

I don’t think it matters.

My friend has a cat of neutral name she thought was a girl but is actually a boy.

Plump82 · 17/10/2022 15:23

Sparklfairy · 17/10/2022 15:16

This happened to my DM when I was a baby. Thought she got two boy kitten (Leo and Max) and turned out to be two girls (Lelo and Max!).

You just need to get your head around it and move on. It might take a day or two but it's still the same kitten! I've had cats all my life of both sexes and neither is better than the other.

Jeez I read that first sentence and thought you were going to say they got you mixed up!!

OP it really doesn't matter and there's absolutely no way of knowing if your older cat doesn't like her because she's a she.

Fundays12 · 17/10/2022 15:26

We were told our 6 month old kitten was a boy. He is in fact a she (found out a couple of weeks later but we both had suspicion’s). She is the half sister of my older cat. They were not keen on each other for a while but get on fine now. Getting her spayed seemed to calm her a lot. They often cuddle together now. It really doesn’t make any difference long term. She obviously loves you and is settled. Your other cat should eventually accept her even if it’s in a don’t sit next to me type of way.

Candymay · 17/10/2022 15:28

Plump82 · 17/10/2022 15:23

Jeez I read that first sentence and thought you were going to say they got you mixed up!!

OP it really doesn't matter and there's absolutely no way of knowing if your older cat doesn't like her because she's a she.

Show quote history

Lols same here.

Original poster
HelloTreacle9 · 17/10/2022 17:36

Ah this is so reassuring, thank you! You're all so lovely. Told DS when he got home from school and he was a bit shocked but said 'well it's still the same beautiful cat who we love'. Bless him. Maybe spaying will calm HER (must get used to that...) down a bit and the two cats will get used to each other at least. Interesting on girl/girl mixes @BarbaraofSeville and that so many of you have had cats who were later discovered to actually be the other sex! (And @Sparklfairy I also thought you were going to say your mum had mixed YOU up as a baby 😂)

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 17/10/2022 17:45

Wow I really need to proof read before posting!! Grin

Spanielsarepainless · 17/10/2022 19:24

Perhaps she's a tomboy...

Ludo19 · 18/10/2022 21:33

My aunt had a beautiful creamy ginger kitten which she called Honey "because that was a nice name for a girl," till honey one day jumped up onto the sideboard to wash a big pair of balls!!

KirstenBlest · 20/10/2022 20:25

Me too, @Plump82 .

Usernamesarenoteasy · 20/10/2022 21:31

I have a ten year old girl cat called Jakey. Yup, she was originally a 'he' called Jake!

CalpolOnToast · 20/10/2022 21:43

I have an 18 month old boy called Dora, he was thought to be a girl at first glance but had very definite balls a few weeks later. Still Dora though!

Thirdsummerofourdiscontent · 20/10/2022 21:45

We had a girl named Thomas - yep originally a boy.

iloveeverykindofcat · 21/10/2022 08:58

When I was a child we had a male guinea pig called Laddy. Originally it was Lady. "Lady" lived for over 9 years and fathered a bigger tribe than Abraham. Half the guinea pigs in the city must be his descendants.

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