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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Should I keep the cat or not?

30 replies

Teeboy · 01/10/2022 21:24

Currently a fosterer for a cat sanctuary. This would be my third Foster cat. Ive only been doing it for a couple of months but knew it would only be short lived as im doing it until I move out. Well that time may be coming in the next couple of months and I currently have a very sweet boy. He is great with my child and blends into our family really well. I dont know whether just to call the fostering quits and keep this one or let him be adopted and potentially be able to continue fostering.

I would be sad if I had to part with my foster cat but if I kept him it would mean not being able to continue fostering although that may be the case for me anyways due to my housing circumstances. At the moment everything is up in the air so its hard to make a solid decision but the cat match maker has told me there is a family interested in my foster cat so now I feel that the pressure is on. I don't want to mess anyone around. Should I keep him or not? Help!

OP posts:
AsAnyFuleKno · 01/10/2022 21:28

If it's likely you'll have to give up fostering anyway, I would keep him - sounds like you have bonded.

PrunellaMcTat · 01/10/2022 21:29

I think let him go.
Your plans are up in the air. Wait until you're certain you want a permanent cat for the next 15 years and then one of your fosters will be 'the one'.

Greenbeanmcgee · 01/10/2022 21:30

I'd keep him.

JoanOgden · 01/10/2022 21:31

Where are you moving and will you be able to have cats in your new place?

Arenanewbie · 01/10/2022 21:31

So do you think you might not be able to have a cat due to housing circumstances?

Original poster
Teeboy · 01/10/2022 21:35

It would be a council house so hard to say. @PrunellaMcTat this is what i wonder. Is it selfish to keep him. He is an adult but still has 10 plus yrs ahead of him. Is it better to let him go and get a kitten who will adjust to us. He has got really attached and settled to us as a family

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SoftSheen · 01/10/2022 21:36

I wouldn't take on a cat permanently until you have sorted out a long-term housing solution. It can be difficult to find rental accommodation with pets, if that is what you will be moving into.

Original poster
Teeboy · 01/10/2022 21:37

He is amazing with the dc

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Arenanewbie · 01/10/2022 21:38

I agree with @PrunellaMcTat then

Guiltypleasures001 · 01/10/2022 21:41

Any pics op?

smelters · 01/10/2022 21:47

Oh I'd be rubbish and have to keep him, but I'm a big softy pushover when it comes to cats. I'd have a whole house full if DH agreed.

Pineappleflowers · 01/10/2022 21:51

I’d definitely keep him IF you know you have a home you can take him to next. If it’s possible/likely you can’t have a cat at your next place, then it would be selfish to turn down a permanent family for him and then not be able to give him one yourself.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 01/10/2022 21:56

Teeboy · 01/10/2022 21:37

He is amazing with the dc

I'd say you've done your bit as a fosterer , given this lovely cat confidence and love and got him ready to go onto his next adventure and be amazing all over again .

Someone is waiting for him.
And another cat is waiting for you to help them.

Original poster
Teeboy · 01/10/2022 22:29

Hmm its a hard one. I know he is really happy with us and we are with him. But ai know he has it in him to be happy with someone else too

I want what is best for him

OP posts:
Original poster
Teeboy · 02/10/2022 00:12

@Guiltypleasures001

Should I keep the cat or not?
OP posts:
Original poster
Teeboy · 02/10/2022 00:13

Here is one of him lying next to dcs cot bed. He loves to sleep next to dc like he is watching over her or sleep on my legs at night.

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Original poster
Teeboy · 02/10/2022 00:15

Not too sure how I can give him up tbh. Had a talk with dp about it and he said he thinks it will be a bit irresponsible. After really thinking about letting him go I started crying. I didn't realise that I felt that strongly about it

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Hugocat1 · 02/10/2022 00:22

Keep him! This is my little witch - she has been biting me for the past half hour, scratches my feet when I’m asleep and a total pain in the arse.

Bit she is mine and she has a home

Should I keep the cat or not?
SammyScrounge · 02/10/2022 00:24

Keep him. He fits into your family and you are a good fit for him. If it matters, it seems he would choose to remain with you. I think you would feel it if you sent him for a stranger.

Original poster
Teeboy · 02/10/2022 00:26

@Hugocat1 aww she is adorable! The thing is I am a strong believer in the cat choses the home/owner not the other way round and I definitely feel like my foster boy has made himself at home. Was she a foster fail too? I knew this was always a possibility I just didnt think it would happen so soon. Tabby cats where never on my radar but he is just so sweet

OP posts:
ofwarren · 02/10/2022 00:29

Council houses generally allow pets don't they? We live in one and have 5 cats. Next door on both sides have dogs.

Original poster
Teeboy · 02/10/2022 00:30

@SammyScrounge thing is although I know this is true I do wonder if he would just "fit" into any family quite well. He is just so laid back and loveable that it will be quite easy for him. I doubt we are anything special.

He has been around quite alot and travelled all the way from up north to down south to be here with me. He has had 3 owners since me being his fourth. I feel bad making it having to be a 5th. He most likely just wants to settle desperately although I know he could do. It if needs be!

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Original poster
Teeboy · 02/10/2022 00:32

@ofwarren yes they do so I dont think it would be an issue really. It would just be the between bit (us waiting for a house and moving) and there is always the thing of uncertainty here which makes me feel guilty when I know someone else could offer him security. He has moved around so much already he deserves it

OP posts:
Hugocat1 · 02/10/2022 00:45

Teeboy · 02/10/2022 00:26

@Hugocat1 aww she is adorable! The thing is I am a strong believer in the cat choses the home/owner not the other way round and I definitely feel like my foster boy has made himself at home. Was she a foster fail too? I knew this was always a possibility I just didnt think it would happen so soon. Tabby cats where never on my radar but he is just so sweet

No she wasn’t - we actually bought her but honestly my legs are in ruins 😭😭

She is our second cat / supposedly to keep out other older kitten company.

ive never been a car person. And tbh cats are shitty - if they dont like you - they don’t like you. If your boy has made a home keep him. If your boy actually LIKES you keep him.

My witch scratching my leg to pieces whilst I post

Original poster
Teeboy · 02/10/2022 01:04

Ugh I just don't know. But I need to make my mind up asap. I know finding a cat that shows affection can be rare and he is a loving boy. But i dont want to be making this decision based on a selfish standpoint. He would be lovely for anyone who has him

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