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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

what would you tell a new cat owner?

53 replies

flipflopson5thavenue · 15/09/2022 12:42

we're considering getting a cat. We currently don't have any pets, DP and I had dogs growing up, but have no experience of owning or living with cats. Our DS are desperate for a cat and I think we could definitely become a cat loving family :)

We're thinking we'd rehome an adult cat. DP works from home full-time, I wfh 3/4 days a week, and we have a garden. DS are 8 and 10yo.

As possible first-time cat owners - what tips would you give?! What do you know now that you wished you'd known when you got your first cat?

Thanks 😻

OP posts:
DomesticShortHair · 15/09/2022 12:44

probably the single most important thing to grasp is that they’re the owner, not you. You’ll come to understand this very quickly, don’t worry.

Wolfiefan · 15/09/2022 12:47

Cats can live for 20 years. Think holidays etc.
Insurance if you need it. Vet treatment can be VERY expensive.
Ensure cat is neutered and microchipped.

bengalcat · 15/09/2022 12:49

The cat is in charge

Aquamarine1029 · 15/09/2022 12:51

Lifelong cat owner here. Personally, given you have no experience with cats and have children, I would get a kitten. Actually, I would get kitten siblings.

Adopting an adult cat is a nice thing to do, but they can often have issues.

SorryForTheRant · 15/09/2022 12:53

Much MUCH easier than a dog.

Don't have any preconceived notions - not all cats are lovely cuddly lap cats, my first was the devil incarnate, but equally as awesome as a lap cat.

Agree with PP that everything is on their terms!

DomesticShortHair · 15/09/2022 12:54

But to try and answer your question, aside from meeting their basic needs (good food, fresh water, clean litter tray, vaccinations etc.), then don’t worry too much. Cats are very complicated, but you’ll all work out the relationship between you.

They are going to be stressed moving into a new home. Watch some videos on recognising the signs (a lot of them aren’t necessarily obvious if you’re not experienced with cats). Maybe look at getting some feliway or similar to help. And make sure they have a quiet place to go to where they can remove themselves and not be disturbed, (particularly important if you have kids who are very excited by the new arrival).

But as long as you treat him or her with respect and as a part of the family (which they are), I’m sure it will be fine. And lovely to see you’re considering giving an adult cat a home, rather than getting a kitten from a breeder.

Mushroomlady · 15/09/2022 12:57

Avoid if you live on or near a busy road..

uggmum · 15/09/2022 13:00

I would think of it as a long term pet. My cat lived for 23 years!
I have another cat now which I got from a rescue.
She is cute but challenging in that she seems to hate us most of the time.
Unless we are feeding her. At that point she loves us very much.

Lulumo · 15/09/2022 13:04

Two sibling kittens, they play with each other Two is easier than one in my experience and I think they are happier. Check out your local cat rescue centres as they often adopt kittens in pairs

Is where you live safe for cats? I would not have a cat that can roam outdoors if I lived near a busy road.

jays · 15/09/2022 13:05

They live a long life.
they will own you and not the other way around
they like access to places that are high up, mine loves his cat tree which takes up minimal floor space but is 8 foot high.
they WiLL go out open windows, over bannisters etc
if it’s an outdoor cat without safe access to a secure outdoor space, there is a good chance it will be knocked down
if you’re a bit sneezy when you first get your cat there’s a good chance it’ll die down after a few weeks
if you are getting them a scratching post, get a tall one as they can’t really use the little ones you get in places like Home Bargains etc
let them come to you and don’t try to impose your will on them.
when you sit there one evening and realise your cat actually loves you, your heart will feel like it’s going to explode off the walls, it’s one of the best feelings in the world.

oh and please never laugh at them, it really hurts their feelings. If they fall or do something stupid they’ll pretend they were cleaning their leg or something …. The shame and embarrassment is real!

jays · 15/09/2022 13:06

Mushroomlady · 15/09/2022 12:57

Avoid if you live on or near a busy road..

This. Please. So many cats knocked down and killed because of this.

Iamacatslave · 15/09/2022 13:09

You are their servant.

Tdcp · 15/09/2022 13:14

Probably that they're not dogs, you can't treat them like dogs, they generally like their own space and attention on their terms (obviously not true for all cats but most and I've owned / fostered over 40). I've known a lot of cats being given up as the cat has scratched etc but the owner was basically trying to treat them like a dog!

An adult cat will need a lot of patience and understanding as they will already have their own great personality and routines etc.

Have fun with your cat :)

Toddlerteaplease · 15/09/2022 13:15

Definitely get an adult cat. Their personality is known. And they are often overlooked for kittens.

It will be the vest thing you ever do.

They will rule you with an iron paw. You exist to serve them.

TimBoothseyes · 15/09/2022 13:16

You're not their owner....you are their servant

Toddlerteaplease · 15/09/2022 13:17

The only thing better than a cat, is two!

ReviewingTheSituation · 15/09/2022 13:18

You'll wonder why you didn't get one sooner.

What everyone said up-thread really. We have always allowed our cats full independence - to come and go as they please - and not to have a set routine. They get fed in the morning, and in the evening, but timings are pretty fluid. If you get yourself into a rut of feeding at set times, they will never leave you alone, and you'll also be a bit stuck when other people are feeding them. We can just say to the neighbour to go in whenever suits them, so it doesn't feel like such a chore for them.

Definitely get insurance, especially if they're outside. Ours has had a couple of scraps and it doesn't take much for a wound to turn into an expensive thing!

Whatsthepointofmosquitos · 15/09/2022 13:19

They’re much easier than dogs.

Do not get a male cat they’re much more likely to fight with strange cats and get expensive injuries. Get a pair of female kittens (from a reputable source) is my advice to you. Kittens are so fun! They should be 10-12 weeks old and will already be toilet trained by that age.

(Unless you’re super houseproud. Kittens do like to climb curtains.)

If you get kittens they are very independent but they will got through a ‘wire chewing’ phase for a couple of weeks, it really helps to dab some white wine vinegar on the wires as they don’t like the smell/taste. Also if getting kittens (or a small cat) make sure you check the washing machine carefully before every single wash, cats love to hide in the laundry there and its too easy to shut them in and turn on the machine.

Dogs automatically adore their owner. Cats are much more like humans. They will constantly assess and judge you. If you’re noisy and unkind they’ll despise you. If you’re affectionate and gentle they’ll come to love you and being loved by a cat is a magical feeling.

Dogs see you as the leader. Cats see you as the butler. Dogs are trainable. Cats may humour you but mostly are offended by any order.

Also, like humans, some cats are forgiving and affectionate and others are simply rude assholes.

Get a scratching post.

Put flea protection drops on them every month.

Beamur · 15/09/2022 13:24

Don't expect to be able to train your cat. They are frequently very willing to co-operate with you, but it's not obedience.
Recognise the signs that your cat doesn't want attention right now and they will become more willing to come to you.
Discourage your children from picking it up generally but certainly until you know how well the cat likes it.
Cats are surprisingly sweet and affectionate to people they like and it does absolutely melt you when they love you back.

Summersdreaming · 15/09/2022 13:25

As a very recent cat owner - we adopted 2 male 6 month old sibling kittens from a rescue - they have slotted into our life so easily! They want food, clean litter, toys and strokes, the rest of the time they are playing with eachother or sleeping. They have a cat tree but prefer the sofa. 10/10 would recommend getting two!

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 15/09/2022 14:39
  1. get two cats/kittens (who know each other) rather than one.
  2. Just let your cats do what they want - it makes for an easy life!
  3. provide plenty of food, furniture and carpets to scratch, boxes to play in, a large litter tray and a few choice toys (catnip if they are adults)
  4. Take vast numbers of photographs of them.

You have passed the ownership test when your work colleagues know all about your cats but didn't realise that you have any children...

BlueKaftan · 15/09/2022 14:45

Talk to them and interact with them. Be kind and gentle. Make sure they have a place up high to either hide or just look around.

Belladonnamama · 15/09/2022 14:50

Get two sibling kittens. We got two sisters,they are 9 months old now and an absolute dream. Once they are fed,have clean litter tray and somewhere to sleep they are happy.

loopylindi · 15/09/2022 15:04

All of the above. We have 2 cats and when a relative visited, she and her children fell in love - and ended up (in a very short space of time) with 5. The thing to remember is that dogs have owners, cats have servants. A door is an affront to their freedom. Which ever side of it they are - it's the wrong side and you are there to put that right. Siblings will provide hours of fun - especially at the witching hour just before bed. All of ours wouldn't eat the same flavour wet food two days running but will eat kibble endlessly. Get them from a rescue not a breeder.
Good luck and enjoy

thecatneuterer · 16/09/2022 10:10

Two things:

Rescue, don't buy. Any decent rescue will also carefully look at your location etc and will know whether it is a safe enough and suitable place to have a cat. If they say it isn't then listen to them. Don't just go and get one from somewhere else.

Secondly, get insurance.

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