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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

I don’t know what to do with my lovely cat

15 replies

housecatornot · 27/08/2022 18:12

My cat is four. I was given her by a neighbour when I lived in London and we had a three years together in a ground floor flat. She was a house cat because the area was quite industrial (lots of big lorries) and there was antisocial behaviour nearby. I was worried about her getting hurt by a vehicle or a person. She was a very happy house cat and showed no signs of stress. She would come out to my (private) garden to potter with me and chase leaves in the spring/summer when I supervised. She would follow me in and hate being left out alone.

In the past year there has been a lot of changes. I moved to a new city and took on a renovation project whilst pregnant. Me and my husband moved in with my parents and continued the supervised garden access in my parents lovely big garden. They live in a very safe area and she loved spending an hour out there a day.

That was four months ago. My parents kept hold of my cat whilst we were finishing off the big jobs and I have since had my baby. She has been living apart from us for about 8 weeks and I have missed her terribly. My parents however admitted that they had let her out at night and she had become a bit of a nightprowler. She would stay in the garden, but prowl up and down the fences and fight off other cats. She enjoyed it so much that she would wait by the door and miaow to go out every evening.

She returned home to us this week, remembers us both and DDog and has settled in beautifully. Calm around baby. Cuddly. No interest in the windows and doors at the moment. My husband asked if we should let her out after 6 weeks, as she has had a taste of being outside- but I am so unsure.

There is a very, very busy a-road just over our high fence, separated by a dual use bike/pedestrian pavement. My job is to keep her safe and I honestly don’t think we can :(

What should I do? I’m so scared she’ll be depressed about being indoors but I don’t want to put her at risk from bike or car.

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 27/08/2022 18:26

Could you install a catio?

RandomMess · 27/08/2022 18:33

No don't let her out, not worth the risk.

Leafy3 · 27/08/2022 18:34

I would look to cat proof your garden so she stays within the bounds and then only start letting her out when she asks.

I agree keep her away from the insanely busy road, but if you struggle with this and she's determined to explore then you may have to accept that she needs to learn to explore the outside and hope she has the sense to stay clear from the road.

thefirstmrsrochester · 27/08/2022 18:35

It sounds like she is happy enough being a house cat whilst at your/her house. She’s not pining to get out.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 27/08/2022 18:39

She sounds like she had a lovely time at your parents, Honestly if she was happy there I would leave her there. Its cruel to keep Cats indoors.

housecatornot · 27/08/2022 18:49

ZeroFuchsGiven · 27/08/2022 18:39

She sounds like she had a lovely time at your parents, Honestly if she was happy there I would leave her there. Its cruel to keep Cats indoors.

I can’t just ‘leave her there’.

My parents will have her any time we travel or need some help with the pets- but they work full time and often have weekends away and long holidays. They can’t commit to pet ownership and don’t want a full time cat!

OP posts:
DinkyDaisy · 27/08/2022 19:37

Perhaps look at a catio or specialist fence toppers on your high fence.
We used Purrfect Fence uk to block a patio area for our cat. Like you, we have a busy road nearby.

WhackingPhoenix · 27/08/2022 19:46

Catproof fence! It looks a bit ugly but it gives me huge peace of mind that my mogs are safe when they go outside 🥰

Ponderingwindow · 27/08/2022 19:49

Indoor vs outdoor cats is entirely cultural. In my country, no reputable rescue will let you adopt a cat if they know you plan to let it outside.

if you want to let your cat out, I would at least cat proof the garden.

Amrapaali · 27/08/2022 22:12

Don't let her out if she doesn't ask for it. I've read too many posts on MN where cats have been killed on the road. Breaks my heart every time

Incacat2 · 27/08/2022 22:21

Definitely cat proof the fence. Ours cost £300 for a small - medium garden. We also live near a busy road.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 27/08/2022 22:26

Catio (my preference) or cat proof fencing. My o key issue with cat proof fencing is - can other cats/animals get in but not get back out.

fluffi · 28/08/2022 21:31

If shes not trying to get out, then sounds like she knows that your parents house is somewhere where she can roam but at your house she should stay indoors. I think given the vast majority of her life she has been indoors and your house is "home" then she'll be ok and shouldn't get depressed as long as she has love, attention and stimulation from you and the family.

Don't let her out if you are in a high traffic area, I'm also in a city near busy roads and there are so many posts on the local forums from owners worried about their missing cats, people who have found injured cats and worst of all deceased cats on the roads, its so sad. 🙁

WyldeSwan · 29/08/2022 15:34

My cat has always been an outdoor cat, but we moved recently and it really isn't safe for her to be allowed to roam. I was really worried about her adjusting to being inside - but she's never shown the slightest interest in wanting to be out yet. She is happy and content in her new, smaller, world.

I am looking at getting cat proof fencing installed in the garden though, so she can have the opportunity of a little fresh air and outdoor prowling.

Longdarkcloud · 25/11/2022 16:37

From observation of many cats over a long time I think those kept inside think of outside as a sort of”other” world to be viewed through glass rather like the tv. None of mine showed any desire to go outside and if they “accidentally” ended up the other side of the door were rather bewildered and happy to be retrieved.
On the other hand those accustomed from youth to coming and going would ask to go out.
Just carry on keeping your DC inside where she has company and there are the usual activities to keep her amused.
Maybe next summer re introduce the supervised outings in the garden once you’ve had time to catproof your fences.
Your new catless garden is probably regarded as the domain of another local cat through right of conquest and your poor baby would be in for a beating and possible trips to the vet for abscesses etc.

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