I will begin by saying she is a much-loved pet and I am just looking for some advice as to how to make her happier, if possible.
I have had her for 8 years, since she was 4. She was handed to Pets Protection as her owners were moving abroad. About 8 months after adopting her I adopted a 6 month old ginger tom. To be honest, they have never really got along and I do feel he bullies her, though this goes through peaks and troughs. They are currently in a tolerant phase. In retrospect, I shouldn't have got him, but it's been a long time now and they mainly just ignore each other.
The issue I have is around her feeding. She will look at the food as if it's a bomb, maybe eat a mouthful or two, then run off as if she has been threatened. I daren't move when she's eating as the slightest move will result in her runninh off. She'll ask to go out, ginger tom will swoop in and eat the food (his second helping...), then she'll be back in, wailing as if she's starving, and the cycle will begin again. When I'm home I can mitigate it a bit by shutting him out so she can eat in peace, but on a work day morning I can't so I feel like he eats double and she doesn't eat. We have a cat flap but she rarely deigns to use it if anyone is home.
She's always been small and is taken to the vet once a year and her weight is always fine, but I'm always worrying that she's not eating enough, especially at this time of year.
She's the 7th cat I've had and I know their annoying ways, but she is on another level and any advice would be great.