Can someone help me with this guilt please?

[ItWasJustifiedHeWasACunt]

13 years ago... yes 13 years ago, our cat was put to sleep. By ours I mean me, my Mum and my Dad. He was around 17 and very old so his time was probably natural but I have thought about him every day ever since (not in an obsessive way just casually) partly because I am a huge thinker and partly because I really believe in the afterlife, I'm very spiritual and not a day goes by where I don't wonder what my deceased loved ones are doing. Sometimes I'll think about them subconsciously for a minute, sometimes I'll think about them for an hour or so. Our cat was absolutely adored by all three of us, the best cat in the world (just like yours lol). But on the day we took him to the vet (I was 24) me and my Dad were so distraught when the vet said it was "time" my Dad quickly signed the form and we both ran outside in floods of tears. My Dad never cries in front of me but we were both in bits. The vet unfortunately wasn't great, whilst he was sympathetic it was a last minute appointment and it was all a bit rushed. He never reminded us we could stay, he was looking at his watch. There was no card afterwards or offer to collect his ashes. It was shit to be honest compared to the stories I mainly hear. Anyway occasionally I really beat myself up over not staying with him, my Dad is the same. I had a dream about our cat last night and woke up crying, I'm also thinking about him a lot this evening because he loved watching the rain in his box. I will never forgive myself as long as I live. The only comfort I can give myself is that (from what I remember) I came home early from my trip when I was told he was really poorly and I'm hoping he was too delirious to know we weren't there. We were told he wasn't in pain, just very uncomfortable. He was also really independent and would probably have told us to piss off if he could anyway! I know this all sounds batshit but he really was the star of our family and my parents have never had another cat since. Any reassurance would be appreciated, although I probably don't deserve it x

Nobody? 😔

Better too early than too late. You did what was right for him.

I know what having a "heart cat" is like, mine died when I was 17 (over fifteen years ago) and I still remember him fondly and enjoy the memories I have of him, and wish I'd said a proper goodbye to him that morning before going to school when I knew he was about to go to the vet and probably be put to sleep. He was curled up in the lavender bed and I'll always remember that last image of him.

I have a cat now and while he's not a replacement, he is wonderful and the light of my life.

X vet nurse here. Please don't beat yourself up about this. Some people are able to be with their pets, some aren't for many reasons but each time I've witnessed, and there were many, staff always tried to make the end as quick, pain free, compassionate and dignified as possible. Some cats especially, prefer to be alone, many seem to know their days are numbered and go off to a quiet place away from their humans. Please don't focus on the few minutes at the end but all the hours, days and years you spent together. He had a great life by the sounds of things. I believe they never really leave you and somewhere near by they are with you. Maybe he knows you are upset and is trying to reassure you in a dream. My dog always knew when I was down and would find me. Even though she passed 20 years ago, I still sometimes "see" her at the corner of my eye. Take comfort in the special times you had he would have known he was loved and cared for🐾

Thank you so much x

When I took one of our cats to be put to sleep, the vet said to me that it's better to do it one day too early than one day too late. Last year I had to make the decision again, and it took me months to shake off the feeling that it was my fault he'd died.

The only time I've seen my old dad cry was the day he dug the hole to bury my childhood cat. But, however much it hurts, you need to focus on the bigger picture not the final curtain. You gave your cat a good life, and a dignified ending.