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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Cat that won’t go home!

32 replies

Arachnid · 05/08/2022 02:07

Last week a gorgeous cat (no collar) appeared at our house, it’s still young looking and the type of cat that meows lots, we have three very small DC and they patted it - outside.

It then went away but kept coming back sporadically over the next few days so we thought it must have a home nearby. Slowly it started to spend more time here and four days on I found it on our couch, asleep. It was put outside and just stayed at our front door.

We have not fed the cat.

I thought I’d take it to get checked at the vets if it was still here over the next few days, (it’s an expensive breed of cat so surely they will have had it microchipped).

  • But then the owners posted on a community page that they were missing their/this cat. They live approx half a mile away and across a busy road.

I said yes we have your cat/it’s around but haven’t seen it tonight.

They asked me to catch it and keep it inside if/when it shows up in the morning, so I did, at 6am and they came and collected the cat when they finally picked up their messages at 8am. They said they had been away for the weekend and that it normally just hangs around…

The issue is the cat keeps coming back here at 5:30am - now wearing a collar - and meowing outside our door. I’ve text the owners each time and we have since walked/carried the cat back to its home twice/three times each early morning - not ideal.

The owners have now told me to squirt/throw water on him to discourage him.

I don’t really want to do this, it feels mean and not something I want to do in front of my DC.

Is there anything else/any other way & how long will it take of us ignoring him, for him to get the picture? It’s a really really pitiful loud meow, it’s wearing me down/I feel bad for it so much that I almost want to just feed it so it’s quiet.

Any advice would be great.

OP posts:
Onlyhereforthebatshitneighbours · 05/08/2022 02:10

You could try a deterrent device. Amits a high pitch that isn't detectable to older ears but cats dislike it.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 05/08/2022 06:46

The cat likes coming to you. Play with it outside your house. It's not your job to return it though, it can find its own way home.

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 05/08/2022 07:15

Honestly, if it's bothering you, just squirt it with water. It won't harm the cat and it's a very well recognised technique to get rid of cats who are being pests.

I certainly wouldn't be picking it up and returning it all the time. If they don't want it getting out and travelling that far, they should cat-proof their garden.

Arachnid · 05/08/2022 07:30

Honestly he’s such a lovely cat, I think he’s here because the owners are not home much in the day and he’s super social - and with three kids here, he got a lot of love.

Thanks for the idea for the detterent device, I hadn’t thought of that. Will investigate!

I’m not going to return him again either, if the owners want him they can come and get him. I just hope he won’t be run over in the meantime.

OP posts:
Piggieinthemiddle · 05/08/2022 14:11

Onlyhereforthebatshitneighbours · 05/08/2022 02:10

You could try a deterrent device. Amits a high pitch that isn't detectable to older ears but cats dislike it.

Oh God please don't. Someone has one on our road and it is very audible and uncomfortable to my 35 year old ears. I imagine it's even worse for children.

Fluffycloudland77 · 05/08/2022 16:00

You have a new cat, it’s adopted you. They re-home themselves if their owners aren’t cutting the mustard.

MeridianGrey · 05/08/2022 16:10

Well done on acquiring a lovely new pet, they choose where they want to be.

MeridianGrey · 05/08/2022 16:12

Oh and I wouldn’t use one of those deterrents, they must mess with wildlife.

yonce · 05/08/2022 16:13

Honestly, the deterrents don't work in my experience. Our neighbour has one and it's so shrill, but the neighbourhood cats just sit in front of it. It's hilarious.

Cats pick their owners IMO. You can't keep walking it back, if it's travelling half a mile it's clearly very keen on you! Just tell them it's there and they can come and get it.

justasking111 · 05/08/2022 16:17

When we worked full time used to see our cat sunning himself on the neighborhood windowsil in their sitting room they'd retired and adored him. When we moved they wanted to keep him so we gave him away. We saw them a year later and discovered he had yet another home on the estate.

SallyWD · 05/08/2022 16:24

You sound lovely OP. So many people would just be annoyed with the cat. I wouldn't worry. Don't let him in or feed him but there's no harm in giving him a bit of fuss in your garden. He knows how to get home. He sounds lonely and like he's taken a shine to you. Cats are very good at sniffing out good people.

RavenT · 05/08/2022 16:24

The assumption that all cats are hugely independent and can be left to themselves for long hours happily is a wrong one imo. A lot of cats naturally thrive off human contact and company (we've got one at the moment who is very sociable).

Sounds like this one really likes being around your house and your family OP. I wouldn't deter him!

SallyWD · 05/08/2022 17:16

RavenT · 05/08/2022 16:24

The assumption that all cats are hugely independent and can be left to themselves for long hours happily is a wrong one imo. A lot of cats naturally thrive off human contact and company (we've got one at the moment who is very sociable).

Sounds like this one really likes being around your house and your family OP. I wouldn't deter him!

I agree. Every cat I've ever had has really missed us when we're away. They really need love.

Arachnid · 05/08/2022 20:16

Yes he’s very social! But I think by getting so much love from us he now expects to also be fed. He’s been coming in the window - much to the kids delight and then leading one or the other to our kitchen then smooching around them and purring incessantly. He’s so smart.

I think the owners think we have kidnapped their cat/turned him against them.

OP posts:
Arachnid · 05/08/2022 20:18

Photo of the offender

Cat that won’t go home!
OP posts:
WaveyHair · 05/08/2022 20:20

I think you have got yourself a cat now. Don't message the owners and see if they contact you.

Has he got a name?

boingy · 05/08/2022 20:21

It's your cat now

MissRainbowBrite · 05/08/2022 20:28

We have a "communal" cat, she belongs to our neighbours but as we're at home a lot more than they are she's chosen us as her 2nd home and our neighbours don't mind at all. She even tolerates our spaniel to be in the home she's chosen.

Cat that won’t go home!
Arachnid · 05/08/2022 20:56

Oh gorgeous! I would love this arrangement but I hate to think of him crossing a busy road so often.

OP posts:
Birthdaygirl1210 · 05/08/2022 21:04

Are you in a position to keep this cat , do you want to?

Hes obviously not happy where he is , they don’t sound very nice , I’d never tell someone to throw water over my cats, can he get in to his house, where does he sleep?

If you want to - ask if you can keep him , cats are lovely and great pets , your kids will love it and he’ll have a better home.

Frazzled2207 · 05/08/2022 21:08

I think you have a new cat. Assuming you’re ok with it. For now I wouldn’t feed it (assuming you have no reason to believe he isn’t being fed at home) but I wouldn’t deter it. And certainly wouldn't take it back to the other house. They can collect.

RavenT · 05/08/2022 21:23

He is lovely OP. 😍 <not helpful, sorry!>

floppybit · 05/08/2022 21:30

My god he's gorgeous!

Onlyhereforthebatshitneighbours · 05/08/2022 21:45

Now, that's a cat that's plotting!

coconuthead · 05/08/2022 22:07

He's adopted you - don't reject him

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