My DM's old cat

[HMSSophia]

My DM has had her first and only cat, from a kitten; he's now 18 and has dementia. He's been the great love of her single, older years.
But he's driving her into a right old state. His crying all night, restlessness all night, means her sleep is appalling. He follows her all day and she says she's worrried she'll step back and trip on him. She desperately needs a holiday (as do we all) but won't leave him overnight alone. A cattery is out of the question.

Apart from the dementia (vet diagnosed), he's absolutely healthy and could go in for years (vet predicted). He still lives to be cuddled and purrs like a train when this happens - babe in arms lookalike.

I don't know how to help my DM. She's visibly wilting under it all - she works a stressful job, she's 81 and it's all just getting on top of someone who has all her life been so resilient and positive. She was at mine in floods of tears earlier (again).

I adore my cats and know the great love we feel for them. But am I right to suggest she has him PTS? She'll grieve yes but isn't that better than this slow misery? I just don't know if I'm suggesting she has him PTS because of my own distress at her distress. I'm her only family. Please give me wise words :(

The thing that came to mind was some sort of cat sling? Like a baby sling? Then your mum won't trip over the moggy and the moggy feels secure as always being held?

Could your Mum cope with that perhaps?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/CUBY-Reversible-Hands-free-Comfortable-Double-sided/dp/B084VK44WC/ref=ascdff_B084VK44WC/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=399549315531&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=1033911758161667496&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1007377&hvtargid=pla-885882685384&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=83794219823&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=399549315531&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=1033911758161667496&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1007377&hvtargid=pla-885882685384

Thank you Romeo - i hadn't thought of that, it's a real possibility- he's a mega cuddly cat so might like it thank you

Oh, your poor mum. Can she at least lock the cat out of her room at night so she can get some proper sleep?

Poor kitty. My old dog had dementia too.
Can she shut him in a safe familiar place overnight? The restlessness is a part of the disease unfortunately. My dog paced a lot in the evening but was relatively chilled the rest of the time. Spent most of the day snoozing.

Are there sedatives the cat can be given to sleep overnight?

I've had cats all my life (I currently have five) and I can only say what I'd do - I'd have the cat PTS. I know he's happy when he's being cuddled, but he cannot be cuddled 24/7 and when he isn't in contact with your mother he is restless and unhappy, and it is causing them both distress.

It is a horrible decision to have to make but you get a sense of when you need to call it quits, it is the last kindness we can do for them. You could talk to her about it, it's possible she is almost waiting for someone to 'give her permission' to take that step.

Could you stay there while she has a holiday? It seems so sad to have DCat PTS if he isn't in pain but she needs a break

By chance I found this on Instagram. How's it going OP

www.instagram.com/reel/Cfz5Bj-oQpv/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

This