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Original poster

Did I kill my cat?

29 replies

queensonia · 18/07/2022 20:26

Back in January I adopted a 3 year old cat. In April, I took her to the vet with a slight cough and found out she had a form of heart failure. The vet advised me to euthanise her because the prognosis wasn't good and I quote "she would die a horrible death". As she was still well and enjoying a normal life, I opted to put her on medication instead.
I really didn't want to be the one to end her life.
She took the tablets with no problem. But fluid started to collect in her lungs and stomach making her breathing laboured. When it began to affect her, I had the fluid drained from her chest and she was fine again for a month and then I had to have it done again. She didn't have insurance and the second time was at an emergency vet but I wasn't going to end her life just because I couldn't afford it. When I brought her home from the vet's the second time, she was so happy to be alive and even more affectionate than usual and was purring non stop as if she was grateful for what I had done. I decided that if she needed to have the fluid drained every month I would happily pay for it to keep her alive. A week after she came home, she was still fine, eating, drinking and cuddling as normal. On Friday afternoon I went to give her one of her tablets - it's a very thin tablet and she has half at a time which I normally break it into quarters. For some reason, I gave her the half tablet in one piece. She more or less immediately started gasping for breath and died about five minutes later. Now I am traumatised by watching her die in such a horrible and painful way and also guilt stricken that the tablet may have somehow choked her or got stuck in her airway. I tried turning her upside down, blowing into her mouth, stroking her neck, putting water in her mouth but nothing worked.

If this was the natural result of her illness I can sort of deal with it, but if I killed her by giving her a tablet, I honestly don't think I can live with myself.
Does anybody know if a tablet would dissolve before it could kill her?
The drug is Libeo and it's a diuretic. If you have read this far thank you.

OP posts:
shedwithivy · 18/07/2022 20:53

FlowersThat sounds extremely traumatic for you. I suspect she was probably already on a cardiovascular knife edge with her pre-existing issues, (which cats hide extremely well) Unless she aspirated (breathed in the tablet/"went down the wrong way") which is quite unlikely, the stress of giving the tablet may have triggered cardiovascular compromise or it may be just be a very sad coincidence. You must not blame yourself, the medication was vital for keeping her alive and you obviously defied all the odds to keep her going in the face of such a devastating diagnosis. I am sorry you had to go through this.

Original poster
queensonia · 18/07/2022 21:03

@shedwithivy Thank you so much for your reply. You sound like you know your stuff and yes, you are right about her being on a knife edge. If she DID aspirate the tablet though, would it dissolve do you think?
I've heard of animals choking on all kinds of things, but never a tablet before

OP posts:
CourtneeLuv · 18/07/2022 21:06

💐

picklemewalnuts · 18/07/2022 21:10

I'm so sorry, how upsetting! Have you asked the vet? It's not something I know about, technically speaking, but I do have residual guilt about pets that have died. It's not unusual, even if you've done everything right!

GoodVibesHere · 18/07/2022 21:13

I really really doubt the tablet killed her. I bet the tablet was tiny, even if in half or full size.

She clearly wasn't a well and healthy cat, and this may be a situation where you are going to have to find a way to accept that you are never truly going to know why she died. One way to look at it might be that it was somehow meant to happen that way. Maybe it was that way so that she could be there with you at the end. She avoided being put to sleep by a vet, she avoided months of pain, she avoided what might have otherwise been. IF it was the tablet (which I doubt) then that was how it was always going to happen.

You did the best that you could. You did nothing to hurt her. You were aiming to help her. You gave her the best chance of a good life. It just wasn't meant to be. She got lucky to be adopted by you, with the care you gave and the effort you made to keep her going.

It is really and truly horrible when they die. I'm sorry this has happened and that her life was short. I'm glad she had you.

dudsville · 18/07/2022 21:13

That sounds so upsetting. She was poorly and you were doing everything to give her more time. It was a distressing death but she's no longer suffering; she's not suffering that final moment and she's not suffering the fluid build up and drains, and she no longer has a poorly heart. Can you make a list of her good points and your happy memories? We had one rescue dog for only a short time, the end was unexpectedly quick. We made a box and little slips of paper, put a memory on each slip and put it in the box. We always thought we'd go back to it to help us process the loss of her, but in the end the act itself shifted our thinking for us.

Original poster
queensonia · 18/07/2022 21:15

@picklemewalnuts I dare not ask the vet. They treated my cat very reluctantly and were pushing hard for euthenasia. If I tell them what happened, they'll just say, "I told you so." They're probably right but I've heard of cats who survive for more than a year on the appropriate medication so it wasn't something I was prepared to be rushed into when she was such a young cat and just the sweetest little girl

OP posts:
MerylSqueak · 18/07/2022 21:16

I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like you had no reason to believe that giving her the tablet would be difficult or stressful for her. It's most likely a horrid coincidence. You've done everything for her to give her a happy life. I've just lost my cat today and it's just an awful feeling.

megacat · 18/07/2022 21:16

Wow what a lovely cat owner you sound, you really went above and beyond to give her a few extra happy months.

As for the tablet, I'm no vet but I doubt taking the full half instead of it being split would kill her, and when the shock subsides you'll realise the same. Sounds like a horrible coincidence. Guilt is a feeling we all experience after losing our loved pets but in time you realise you did your best.

Sorry for your loss, please try and remember you gave puss extra time and she was loved Flowers

elfycat · 18/07/2022 21:16

I think the vet was trying to tell you that there was a very short life then death ahead.

Maybe the stress of having medication was enough that day to finish off her heart, but if not that then something else would have, probably within 24 hours. I've fed many a tablet to cats (and humans) and it wouldn't have been a problem - unless she was about to go downhill in a hurry anyway.

I think it was a natural consequence of her illness. I've seen more gasping from cardiac troubles than from aspiration - IM, very limited, E the one aspirated patient I had just keeled over in cardiac arrest - (we got him back).

Poor you. I love my cats, and hate when they inevitably suffer with something that becomes terminal. All you can do is your best.

Original poster
queensonia · 18/07/2022 21:18

@GoodVibesHere Thank you. That means a lot.

OP posts:
Original poster
queensonia · 18/07/2022 21:22

@MerylSqueak I'm so sorry.

OP posts:
Original poster
queensonia · 18/07/2022 21:25

@elfycat How did you get a cat back from cardiac arrest? I felt so useless when my poor little girl was struggling to breathe because I had absolutely no idea what to do to help her. I want to learn emergency animal first aid so this doesn't happen again.

OP posts:
Lacedwithgrace · 18/07/2022 21:25

Her body just wasn't healthy enough to keep taking medication, that's not anyone's fault. You're a great owner for giving her a second chance and ensuring she had her medication. In the nicest possible way, it would likely have happened soon if it did not happen when it did. Not your fault x

elfycat · 18/07/2022 21:30

queensonia · 18/07/2022 21:25

@elfycat How did you get a cat back from cardiac arrest? I felt so useless when my poor little girl was struggling to breathe because I had absolutely no idea what to do to help her. I want to learn emergency animal first aid so this doesn't happen again.

Should have specified. It was a human I got back from cardiac arrest.

The one time I CPR'd a cat (drowning - not mine) I wasn't successful, but it was probably already too late by the time we found her.

sixswans · 18/07/2022 21:36

I'm a vet. You didn't cause her death with the tablet, she was in very advanced heart failure, a tiny bit of stress or exertion could cause her heart to stop, it sounds like it was just her natural time to go.

Dasher789 · 18/07/2022 21:42

Sorry for your loss OP. From what you have said I don’t think you were to blame. It sounds like you did all you could until the end for your cat

Original poster
queensonia · 18/07/2022 21:45

@sixswans Thank you so, so much for reassuring me of that. It's somewhat of a relief to think that her death was natural rather than the result of my bad parenting. I still have the guilt of letting her suffer at the end of course, but it had never seemed the right time to euthanise her before that because she was still enjoying life.

OP posts:
NewCatName · 18/07/2022 21:48

My cat had a dodgy heart OP, although she was old. She was on diuretics to keep the fluid down too. My vet gave her 3-6 months to live but said she could go anytime. She managed the 6 months and died at home the same as yours, a bit of coughing with a gasp and then she was at peace. I'm glad she didn't have the stress of having to go in the car to the vets to be put down but instead died at home.

I just think yours was a horrible coincidence that it just happened to be at the same time you'd given her the tablet.

It was her time to go, try not to dwell on her death and remember her life Flowers

villainousbroodmare · 18/07/2022 21:56

I'm so sorry. Your cat had congestive heart failure and was end-stage where her heart was barely able to keep going, hence the fluid build-up. She could have died like that at any moment. It's less likely that the pill obstructed her airway, more likely that her lungs were full of fluid and her heart couldn't keep beating any more. CHF is just a horrible condition. To be honest, I try not to let my patients get to that stage but some people are determined to keep them going and some patients manage to survive longer than one would expect.

Original poster
queensonia · 18/07/2022 21:58

@NewCatName Thank you for your message. It helps to know that I'm not the only one who has been through this. When my cat was first diagnosed I asked the vet how long I could expect her to survive and he said 11 days! I've no idea where he plucked that number from. 3 - 6 months is what I expected. You did extremely well to keep your cat alive for so long. I'm reassured too that even after knowing what the end is like you still think it's preferable to euthenasia.

OP posts:
Georgeskitchen · 18/07/2022 22:01

So sorry for your loss. You did your best for her and she was obviously much loved.
She was very poorly and I highly doubt you killed her. As a vet pp has already stated . Don't beat yourself up xx

SherbertLemonDrop · 18/07/2022 22:06

So sorry for your loss

similarminimer · 18/07/2022 22:12

I had a rabbit who developed a horrible eye infection. I had to give her eye drops which distressed her and one time she went crazy - scrabbling, running, panicking. She ran up my front and dropped to the ground dead. I felt awful for years, that I tortured and killed her. Now i can look back and see that i was a loving owner who tried my best. Her heart gave out. If you dont blame me, then dont blame yourself.

You did more than almost anyone else would have done to extend her life and care for her. Gasping does not sound like the tablet got stuck - gasping means air was going in and out. She would have been choking/coughing/drooling if it were the tablet. Please be kinder to yourself.

shedwithivy · 18/07/2022 22:19

queensonia · 18/07/2022 21:03

@shedwithivy Thank you so much for your reply. You sound like you know your stuff and yes, you are right about her being on a knife edge. If she DID aspirate the tablet though, would it dissolve do you think?
I've heard of animals choking on all kinds of things, but never a tablet before

Aspirating a tablet is unlikely, but bodies are generally designed to cough things up if this happened. A coughing fit could increase stress/oxygen demand but even in the unlikely case this happened, it would be her cardiac instability which would make her unable to cope.

As PP have said, try not to dwell on this. She was on all the treatment she could be and had sadly reached the end stage of her disease. I imagine your vet was counselling you towards pts as they would have known that something like this was likely to happen at some stage and wanted to put control in your hands. The flip side to this is that you may have felt cheated out of time with your beloved pet. Unfortunately no one has a crystal ball for this or can tell you when is exactly the right time to make that decision.

Could you speak to a pet bereavement service/helpline? Feeling misplaced guilt is very common when grieving.

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