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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Euthanasia: Please reassure me we're doing the right thing

23 replies

MontyMarsh · 22/06/2022 21:20

I just posted about decided to euthanise our 11yo cat and the DC being there. She had a CT scan showing enlarged lymph nodes, serious nasal obstruction and lung changes that could be viral/bacterial/fungal/lymphoma, they don't know without yet more tests.

Her breathing has been getting more and more noisy over the last few days, and she is much less active. She hasn't responded to antibiotics and anti inflammation medication, and the vet said any further treatment would likely involve pills which I know would be incredibly stressful to get into her.

The vet seemed to suggest that if it was only one area of the body that was affected there might be more of a chance of success, but with multiple areas it was slightly less hopeful. We made the decision to euthanise her based the stress of further testing and treatment and on on the principle of "better a few weeks or month early than a day late".

I know that cats are good at masking their symptoms but we've just been stroking her in the garden and she's been purring and rolling over for us. She seems so normal, it seems horrendous to be going down this road. I can hear her breathing isn't right. I think we are making the right decision, but when I see her I just can't stand the thought as it seems like there is barely anything wrong with her.

We're booked in for tomorrow, and I'm just beside myself and thinking this is too soon and a mistake. I can't stop crying.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom?

OP posts:
Original poster
MontyMarsh · 22/06/2022 21:21

She's waking around me in the garden right now asking to be stroked. I feel awful.

OP posts:
Yarnasaurus · 22/06/2022 21:24

It's a horrible decision, but you've made it with love and in her best interests. It is good that her final days are happy for her, and it's totally normal to have doubts, it doesn't mean you're wrong xx

warmsuncoldwind · 22/06/2022 21:55

We had to do the same a few weeks ago, it was utterly horrible. My cat did like yours, wanting cuddles and purring, but wasn’t herself anymore.
I know it’s hard, but try to behave normally, she can otherwise pick up your stress and sadness and it isn’t good for her.

B0ssAssB1tch · 22/06/2022 21:57

The question is, is she going to recover? If not, you're definitely doing the right thing. Don't wait until she's in pain, if this is the best she's ever going to get.

Rahrahrahrahannoyed · 22/06/2022 21:59

I hate it when this happens and it makes you doubt yourself.
It's for the best and I'm sure you made the right choice.
Hugs xxx

Original poster
MontyMarsh · 22/06/2022 22:07

It's just impossible to know if she could recover or not. She's only got worse so far, and not responded to any meds. But it all feels so quick, like we haven't given her enough time to try and get better.

OP posts:
Logoplanter · 22/06/2022 22:08

Speak to the vet again tomorrow before you take her in. Listen carefully to what they say. If they think you are making the wrong decision they'll guide you away from it. It'll help reassure you that your decision is the right choice. You've made it with love and kindness ❤️

dianec401 · 22/06/2022 22:21

Other posters are right. You're taking this decision carefully and responsibly. If there's a good chance of recovery your vet will let you know. But otherwise why put your beloved pet through the suffering?

Sometimes doing the right thing feels very hard.
It's an awful position to be in.

I had to make a similar decision a few months ago with my cat. She was much older than yours but still had a reasonable quality of life. However her problem was chronic and in reality was probably causing her a lot more discomfort and pain than any of us knew. So I took the decision to let her go before things got even worse.

I miss her so much but I don't regret my decision at all. I know I did what I could to be a responsible and loving owner who put her wellbeing before my feelings. That's all we can do. Take care x

Sunnierdays · 22/06/2022 22:23

Definitely ask the vet first, if she appears to be ok I would give her more time !

Definitelynotem · 22/06/2022 22:30

I totally relate to this. My 5 year old cat was put to sleep a few months ago. Her breathing became really heavy one day and when we took her to the vets they knew there was something wrong with her stomach but couldn't be sure what, but she was in so much pain and such a critical condition that any surgery etc would be very dangerous and the vet advised us that the kindest thing to do would be to put her to sleep. We ended up taking her to the vets at 5pm and she was gone by 11pm. It felt very quick and even now I'm still tearing up writing about it. Some days I wonder what if I had held on longer and put her through the surgery, but I try and remember that when I saw her that night she was so poorly, cold and struggling to breath, and at the time a poster on here told me that it's better to let her go a day too early than a day too late. I would ask the vet what they would do, but if they think it's time and you agree then I hope she goes as peacefully as possible xx

SallyWD · 22/06/2022 22:39

It's so, so hard. I'd speak to the vet tomorrow and ask them what they would do if she was their cat. I kept delaying it with my cat and I wish I'd let her go sooner. The last few weeks were awful.

Feliciacat · 22/06/2022 22:47

I’m so sorry to hear this. As others have said, the vets have your cat’s best interests at heart so it’s likely their advice is probably the kindest option. I do completely agree that you should double check before the final moment whether she is maybe getting better somehow. If the vet thinks she’s doing better than they thought then they’ll advise against euthanasia.

I have cats too and they’re truly part of the family. I can’t imagine how upset you must be. At least her last night is one where she’s happy. All the best to you both. You love that cat so much, whatever happens you will be doing right by her xx

Ethelfromnumber73 · 22/06/2022 22:50

With hindsight, I feel that we pushed our very beloved cat beyond a stage we should have. I think with the test results you have you are doing the right thing. I know it's hard but it's so much better to let them go before they totally lose their quality of life. Flowers

AnotherPoster · 22/06/2022 23:03

I am unsure from you post if the vet has advised euthanasia. If yes, take their advice. But if not, I would want to investigate further. I've just paid a fortune getting my cat treated. The vet thought lymphoma initially. It ended up being something completely different. For 4 weeks, we had a stressful time. Lots of medication, lots of vet visits, hospital admissions, major surgery, and yes, the dreaded pill popping. But my cat is, fingers crossed, on the mend now. 11 years old doesn't seem very old for a cat.

7catsisnotenough · 22/06/2022 23:26

No advice or judgment @MontyMarsh , just sending support and hugs. We're probably going to have to make a similar decision in the next few months about our beautiful old lady (she's over 20) and it's heartbreaking to think about.

💐for you x

Original poster
MontyMarsh · 23/06/2022 06:35

Thank you all for your kind words. I completely forgot to mention that after the CT scan the vet used the phrase "I'm afraid it doesn't look good". She wouldn't outright recommend one course if action over another, but after a long conversation we seemed to arrive at euthanasia as the right choice. Our cat is a rescue who still carries the stress of a difficult early life, and so would be upset by further vet visits and testing and anaesthesia. And trying to give her tablets would be very difficult and make her constantly scared of us. And there is no guarantee it would work.

I know we're making the right choice in my head. I know if she looked much sicker I wouldn't feel this uncertainty, but that would probably be "too late" wouldn't it, and the less kind thing to do.

OP posts:
Clarich007 · 23/06/2022 08:47

Hi MontyMarsh.
I really feel for you, and have been in this situation 4 times over the last 40 years.
It's never easy. I think it's completely normal to doubt your decision, it's part of the grieving process.
Think back to when she was well, then compare it to now, and see the difference in her.
What I am trying to say in my clumsy way is you're doing the right thing, the kindest thing, the most loving thing you can do for your girl.
Good luck today💐

Polkadotties · 23/06/2022 08:53

Better a day early than a day late.
My old girl was put to sleep at 18 due to a massive tooth abscess which they couldn’t operate on due to her age. Right up until she died she was purring and being her chatty self.

Original poster
MontyMarsh · 23/06/2022 20:59

Thank you so much to everyone who posted on this thread. We went to the vets this evening and said goodbye to her. It was very calm and dignified. It was definitely the right decision as she was really struggling with her breathing today, and spent most of the time lying down in the garden with someone stroking her.

Such an emotional few days, but it's a relief to know she's no longer in pain or distress.

We gave her a good life away from the difficult start she had before she was rescued. The house feels empty now though and I keep expecting her to appear in the doorway. It's just all so sad, but I'll try to concentrate on the great memories of the last 10 years with her.

Thank you again.

OP posts:
ElephantsFart · 23/06/2022 21:04

I am sorry for your loss. ❤️

Yarnasaurus · 23/06/2022 21:17

So sorry Flowers

Feliciacat · 23/06/2022 21:39

I’m glad it was dignified. I really was thinking about you today. Losing a pet is horrendous even when it’s the kindest thing for them. It feels like a piece of you has died. Please dm me if you ever need to talk. May your dear cat rest in peace xx

SallyWD · 23/06/2022 22:24

I'm sorry for your loss. I remember that feeling of emptiness. You did the kindest thing an owner can do.

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