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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Cat Rehome advice

17 replies

Baby193 · 14/06/2022 06:38

Hi everyone. I’m posting in Chat for traffic as I desperately need some advice. This will be quite long but please bear with me.
In February my partner and I adopted two cats (16 & 12). We have a 7 month old baby, which we discussed with the rescue place as obviously important to mention. We had always wanted to adopt two older cats as kittens get so much interest at rescue places and we wanted to give some elderly ones a chance. We contacted a local cat rescue place when we saw a post go up about adopting these two, and within a week they were home with us.
we were told they were a bonded pair who had been rescued from an old lady who had gone into a home with dementia, and that the girl cat (let’s call her Sooty) was a bit bossy and the boy cat (let’s call him Ginger) was a bit shy but both friendly.
That was absolutely the case - both so sweet, friendly and affectionate…with us. But they absolutely hate each other. We thought it was because of needing to re-establish relationships in a new place, but nearly 5 months down the line nothing has improved and in fact it has worsened. They are soiling all over the house multiple times a day. They have both been to the vet and had medical issues ruled out - it’s behavioural/territorial.
We have tried everything. A Feliway plug-in, calming sachets in food (vet recommended), multiple litter trays, keeping them separate, anti-pee/foul spray. They have access to the garden which they use to toilet in and they use the litter trays so we know they know HOW to do these things. Yet 3 times a day we are cleaning up poo from the floor - in front of the litter tray, the bathroom floor, the bedroom floor. They often urinate on things as well.
Sooty adores our baby but Ginger is less keen. He has pooed/urinated on several of her things. She isn’t mobile yet so doesnt bother them. And even if she was she would be closely monitored and supervised. She doesn’t even really cry so it’s not like he’s contending with lots of loud noise he would find unpleasant. We have a decent sized house with plenty of places for him to sleep.
This morning we have come downstairs to poo in the kitchen and dining room, and wee all over the baby’s changing bag. My partner has said he’s absolutely had enough and he would like to rehome them.
I really don’t want to do this and am so upset about the situation. I’m sorry this is so long but wanted to give enough detail. I have owned cats all my life and never had such issues. We are at the end of our tether. I never thought I’d be one of those people who would rehome a cat but they’re both clearly unhappy here which breaks my heart - they have lots of space, a garden, plenty of food, toys and affection.
Does anyone have any advice, or has been in a similar situation? I am constantly worrying about them.

OP posts:
Isaidnoalready · 14/06/2022 06:42

Contact the rescue you got them from

violetsanddaisies · 14/06/2022 06:44

You need to talk to the rescue they were adopted from and get their advice, and if you do choose to rehome then return them to that rescue.

goodplanbatman · 14/06/2022 06:46

I would seriously consider rehoming one of them, back to the original rescue ideally. Have you posted on the Litter Tray board for advice?

Baby193 · 14/06/2022 06:48

I will definitely contact the rescue. I feel quite pissed off with them - I feel like they’re understandably so precious about where and how kittens and younger cats are homed but these two cats clearly aren’t bonded and they just chucked them in together.

Baby193 · 14/06/2022 06:49

@goodplanbatman no I haven’t - I’ll also post there. Thank you!

violetsanddaisies · 14/06/2022 06:51

To be fair to the rescue, sometimes a new environment can really change existing dynamics. I also wouldn't underestimate what a huge change it has been for the cats to go from living with a single old lady to a family home.

JuneJubilee · 14/06/2022 06:54

Baby193 · 14/06/2022 06:49

@goodplanbatman no I haven’t - I’ll also post there. Thank you!

@Baby193 you'd be better to 'report' your original post & ask MN to move this thread there. Litter tray is busy, you don't need two threads, it just gets confusing

Baby193 · 14/06/2022 06:56

@violetsanddaisies that’s very true.
@JuneJubilee thank you - I’ve reported now to ask to move.

WalkerWalking · 14/06/2022 07:00

16 is very old. My lovely old boy had significant dementia by that age (he used to climb into the washing machine to poo!)

You can't live like this. You're not a rescue charity yourself, you were looking for pets to live comfortably alongside.

There's a small chance that if you return the most unsettled cat back to the rescue centre, the other one might calm down. I might try that as a first step.

SkankingWombat · 14/06/2022 07:06

Contact the rescue, but would you consider keeping Sooty on probation? She could be a very different cat once no longer in a territorial dispute if she otherwise is happy with your family. Are you sure it is both cats that are messing, or is there just one offender?
But ultimately, no YANBU to feel cheated and unwilling to be forever cleaning up faeces even without the baby in the mix. The cats also deserve a chance to be happy, which they so clearly aren't at the moment.

Romeiswheretheheartis · 14/06/2022 07:17

I wouldn't return both of them and risk the charity re homing them both together again, if they hate each other. They're just going to both continue to be distressed. Could you keep the one that likes the baby?

Baby193 · 14/06/2022 07:24

Yes we have been discussing only rehoming one. The trouble is, Sooty (the one that loves the baby) is so much more confident and relaxed than Ginger. It took him a week to even come out from under the bed here. While she fits in much better here I would feel so awful rehoming him and him being so unsettled again - wondering if she’s the best one to rehome purely because she’s so confident and friendly.

But then again clearly he is unsettled/unhappy anyway so god knows.

Clymene · 14/06/2022 07:32

You need to talk to the rescue - they lied to you. Keep Sooty who is happy in your home.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 14/06/2022 07:39

Hi OP, I think rehoming one is a very good idea. I also think you should keep Sooty as she seems to be a a better fit for your family. The rescue may well find that Ginger is much better suited to being an only cat.
Good luck, and hope this resolves the soiling problem.

romdowa · 14/06/2022 07:43

If you don't want to rehome them , have you tried doing reintroduction? There are some very good guides to it online.

Staynow · 14/06/2022 07:49

I think it would be mad to keep the cat who doesn't fit in and give up the one that does because you feel bad. You might still have problems going forward that way and end up having to rehome the second one too or struggle on in an unhappy situation.

Keep Sooty and give the other one back to the rescue, it will be best for all of you including the cats.

thecatneuterer · 14/06/2022 12:08

goodplanbatman · 14/06/2022 06:46

I would seriously consider rehoming one of them, back to the original rescue ideally. Have you posted on the Litter Tray board for advice?

This. I would keep the older one and ask the rescue to take the younger one back.

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