Who’s cat at this point?

[Ritascornershop]

I’m in a quandary and I don’t know what to do.

Close family members adopted an adult cat about 8 years ago. They then moved about once a year and the cat, who is very sweet and affectionate, became a bit needy with all the changes in his life. They’ve left him with me four times now, for periods ranging from 3 weeks to 10 months, reasons ranging from that the cat didn’t get on with their new flat to the cat meows too much at night.

Recently they and I moved separately to the same part of the country. The cat was flown here and they drove. I picked him up from the airport and they now won’t take him back because he was anxious and crying at night. He’s the best cat in the world, and just needed extra attention. He’s fine now.

The male relative loves the cat to bits but his wife is somewhat less engaged with him. Probably loves him, but also has seemingly little tolerance for when he’s stressed. Or maybe she thinks it’s better for him to be with me (repeatedly) temporarily, I don’t know.

My question is, if I move back (about 5 hours away), is it reasonable for me to say “you keep giving him to me, I think he’ll have more stability with me” (moving here is the first time I’ve moved in 20 years, I don’t make a habit of it)?

I do feel it’s better for the cat. I’ve got more time available to spend with him and I’d never give him up. I’m the Rick Astley in this situation.

Can’t hurt to spell it out to them. I can’t imagine giving my cat to someone else and letting them fly the cat around. A proper owner would have done that themselves.

They did pay for his flight, but they weren’t here yet so it was up to me to pay oodles to take a cab to the (remote) airport and fetch him. If I’d known they were sending him cargo without a sedative I would have insisted he fly as a passenger with me (sedated).

I know they love him, but I worry that if I move away from them and they decide they can’t have him for a spell they’ll put him up for adoption. My male relative says they’d never do that, but he does as his wife says and I can see her insisting.

OP, are you sure the airline will transport a sedated cat? I am in Germany and Lufthansa requires cats to not be sedated: otherwise they won‘t transport it.

I don’t think sedated is safe for flying either. What you need is a way of phrasing it that makes them feel their doing you a massive favour letting you keep him.

You shouldn't sedate a pet before a flight.

If you are moving back, talk to your family about the best long term plan for DC. Either they need to keep him permanently, or he becomes your pet, because the shuffling between houses can't work when you are that far apart.

The reason he flew unsedated is because most airlines won't let them fly sedated anymore - it's much too dangerous.

Tell them you either keep him or they have him back permanently. You need to be tough with them as they are taking the piss.

I think you should keep him, you're the one who won't give him up at the slightest inconvenience.

Talk to the bloke & reassure him that you'll look after the cat & send him regular photos & he's welcome to visit. As long as you're going to remain in his life then if he genuinely cares about the cat he should be fine with that surely??

who is he registered to on his chip? If he's not chipped, I'd get him done asap.

I’m not in Europe and where we are cats are normally given a mild sedative before flying. Maybe that’s not the right word - it doesn’t cause them to sleep through, just calms anxiety.

Thats a good idea to put it both as them doing me a favour and it being best for cat. I have been a bit shocked at how easily they give him to me. They also had another cat for about four years and gave him up when they (on a whim imo) moved from a place with a garden to a flat. They kept this cat, but by giving him to me with the claimed intent of reclaiming him. They also said they’d buy his food while I had him, and that stopped after a week - which is fine, but if I’m caring for him and feeding him and he’s now very fond of me … then I think I determine where he lives.