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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Introducing newbies

39 replies

Just1moreq · 18/05/2022 17:54

We have just adopted a 10 week old kitten, have a 2 year old cat already. We've followed all the guidance to bring him home, separately feeding, safe places for both, no direct contact between the two, lots of attention to the older cat, but he is not happy at all. What else can we do to make him more comfortable? Any suggestions? Thanks

OP posts:
Antarcticant · 18/05/2022 18:02

A Feliway diffuser in the room he uses most.

Other than that it's just time - it can take weeks to integrate a new cat - just take it slowly as you have been doing and they will get there in the end.

A picture of your dcat and dkitten would be lovely!

Original poster
Just1moreq · 18/05/2022 18:26

I've got one plugged in downstairs, I've just ordered another for upstairs.

Introducing newbies
Introducing newbies
OP posts:
Antarcticant · 18/05/2022 18:36

That should help. They do do one called 'Feliway Friends' which is specifically supposed to help cats integrate but I've only ever tried the standard one.

Scent is the key here; if you can do all you can to help new cat start smelling the same as old cat - e.g. bring old cat's bedding into new cat's bed - that should help as well. Over time, the new cat will take on the 'house smell' (not suggesting your house is smelly, I mean only as detectable to super-sensitive cat noses) and that' when they properly integrate.

They both look lovely 😍 I have a black boy and a torby girl - it took about 6 weeks before I was confident to leave them together unsupervised - my girl was about 10 when my boy came home; I'd had another black boy before him who was PTS at a grand old age.

Original poster
Just1moreq · 18/05/2022 19:10

I'll work on the scent swapping.
Just ordered another plug in.
We had one for 15+ years and he is still the favourite child.

OP posts:
TheLongRider · 18/05/2022 19:41

Mine was grumpy for four days the last time we got a rescue kitten. He huffed around the place grousing at the kitten and wailing at us that we'd ruined his life. Then he discovered the kitten could play and the rest is history.

Original poster
Just1moreq · 19/05/2022 18:14

How many days did you keep them apart?

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 19/05/2022 18:21

I think you have to keep them apart until the resident cat stops being pissed or there’s fisticuffs.

It is a bit like your husband bringing home Chloe from work because he loves you so much he thought two wives would be amazing. I’d be cross.

Original poster
Just1moreq · 19/05/2022 18:37

Yeah, he's not impressed with us. Lots of grumbling and some hissing. On the plus side he is eating, sleeping well and staying in the room with the kitten in the room next door he can hear and smell him but isn't running away

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 20/05/2022 18:14

How is he today?

Original poster
Just1moreq · 20/05/2022 20:56

He's not that different tbh. A little less tolerant of us than normal but happily sleeping next to us, eating when he can hear the kitten.
From what I've read and watched were doing the right things. I wont be introducing them face to face for a few days more and in the next few days I will try letting them see each other. We have a clear glass door so they can have a few days of seeing but not touching before I try anything else.
Lots of space, kitten moved as soon as big cat wants the room 121 time for big cat, treats etc

OP posts:
Myshitisreal · 20/05/2022 21:06

Have you tried feeding on each side of the door then day by day moving the food closer to the door? We did this from day one. They're friends but he's still a little twat but she's accepted him now. Jackson galaxy has loads of videos.

Scent swapping, plus putting them in each others "rooms" - without eye contact just yet. You don't want them to stare each other out. Time and persistence and gradually increase things

Myshitisreal · 20/05/2022 21:09

Here's one

Original poster
Just1moreq · 20/05/2022 22:56

Yup. Doing all that. Swapping blankets and food bowls (fresh food) was also recommended.

OP posts:
Myshitisreal · 21/05/2022 13:11

And can they eat side by side with just a door in between? Our two are literally head to head apart from the door.
We then moved to a glass door in short bursts, so they could see each other a short while. Then we increased that and took the door away with a crochet blanket as the screen. Just gradually.

Original poster
Just1moreq · 21/05/2022 13:17

The big one will give a hiss but then carry on eating. We will go the glass door thing in a few days. Not sure my nerves are up to it right now.

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SwelegantParty · 21/05/2022 13:27

I've always just brought new cats in and let the older ones get on with it - they tend to hiss for a few days, the new cat keeps a respectful distance, then eventually they all get used to each other. I did once try putting a new boy in the bathroom overnight, but he was trying to get out and older boy was trying to get in, all very loudly, so I gave up and they chased round a bit and went to sleep.

Myshitisreal · 21/05/2022 13:56

That's the big one just asserting dominance, which is good as baby cat needs to learn who's boss.

I'd never seen a cat drop to the ground before in submission, but it's fascinating.

Our big cat is too nice and runs away from little cat whereas, she really needs to give him a whack sometimes to teach him. He's a little turd (who is gorgeous and cute but very rambunctious)

lljkk · 21/05/2022 15:05

how many days have kittens been in the house?

Athenajm80 · 21/05/2022 15:40

SwelegantParty · 21/05/2022 13:27

I've always just brought new cats in and let the older ones get on with it - they tend to hiss for a few days, the new cat keeps a respectful distance, then eventually they all get used to each other. I did once try putting a new boy in the bathroom overnight, but he was trying to get out and older boy was trying to get in, all very loudly, so I gave up and they chased round a bit and went to sleep.

That's what i've nearly always done. I've had rescue cats over the last 16ish years, sometimes up to 9 at once. They've usually been left to get on with it and have settled quite quickly.

The only times I did keep them separate, with just a rabbit hutch type mesh door separating them, was when I had a mum and her baby so I thought they'd need a safe place, and when I ended up with an older cat. She took months to settle before I'd let them mix, I nearly gave her up as I was worried. She's currently snuggled up to one of the boys on my office chair.

Feliway or the other one I can't remember the name of never worked for any of mine. I tried it for various issues but it didn't seem to make any difference.

Good luck though, both cats are gorgeous!

Original poster
Just1moreq · 21/05/2022 15:43

lljkk · 21/05/2022 15:05

how many days have kittens been in the house?

4 days

OP posts:
Myshitisreal · 21/05/2022 15:50

4 days is quite soon so I think you need to reset your expectations.

I think the process depends on your existing cat so follow your instinct.

Don't just throw them together if you don't feel that's right. It definitely wouldn't have worked here. We followed a combination of cat protection league and the guy I mentioned. Cat protection league also have videos on YouTube

There's no rush. Relax.

Original poster
Just1moreq · 21/05/2022 16:15

Myshitisreal · 21/05/2022 15:50

4 days is quite soon so I think you need to reset your expectations.

I think the process depends on your existing cat so follow your instinct.

Don't just throw them together if you don't feel that's right. It definitely wouldn't have worked here. We followed a combination of cat protection league and the guy I mentioned. Cat protection league also have videos on YouTube

There's no rush. Relax.

I was planning to wait 7-10 days before any face to face time. Do you think extending that is a good idea?

OP posts:
Myshitisreal · 21/05/2022 16:23

No I don't necessarily mean that. I just mean it's very early days to feel so dismayed by the whole thing. Just take the lead from them,behaviour, reactions. Don't do too much at once, if it's not working slow things down . Let them adjust. We got our boy in January so not long through it all.

We did stuff gradually, slowly letting him into bigger parts of the house getting bigger each time. Letting him explore. Putting big cat in his room and letting her smell his scent, swapping blankets/beds. All that stuff. Or will be worth it. Definitely would have been too soon for us to do face to face and we did door feeding from the first feed.

Original poster
Just1moreq · 21/05/2022 18:49

myshitisreal
I get what you mean. I won't worry about doing it all at once and to a specific time table. Try to relax and let them feel their own way.
Thank you

OP posts:
lljkk · 21/05/2022 19:29

I seem to recall we didn't let Old cat sight the kittens until day 3 (through a window, he was furious). He wasn't in same room (even for a micro-second until day 5) yet by day 10 he was unhappy but tolerating them.