Reserved kitten - last minute doubts :(

[catconflicted]

Reserved a kitten a couple of weeks ago , paid small deposit.

Have 3 children - teen, almost 4 year old and 1 year old . I suppose I was thinking along the lines of those that have babies close together -when your in the thick of it (with preschooler/baby) what is another mouth to feed bum/litter tray to clean , I'm currently a sahm so I'm in a lot , we also only wanted one kitten for financial reasons ( food , insurance , spaying , potential holiday cat care etc ) and space (litter tray, bed) and thought that our 3 year old would have the endless energy needed to play with kitten in place of a sibling as I have read about kittens being easier in pairs , we have been around family cats and spend most days after nursery looking for neighbourhood cats and also thought just generally nice for them to have a family pet to grow up with.

A few days ago I was looking up kitten threads on Mumsnet trying to get best tips and advice for the new arrival but I came across a lot of kitten regret posts and countless stories of cats that destroy houses , pee and poo on beds/anything left on the floor and vomit everywhere , I wouldn't even say I'm particularly house proud but I do draw the line at my entire home being used as a cat toilet.

What do I do ? We are due to pick kitten up in a few days and have been going over and over this in my head , I would feel awful to change my mind this close to collection and for my children who I know would adore the kitten but if I can't accept the above is it best that we don't go ahead ?

Thanks for any input

Who are you getting the kitten from? No reputable breeder would sell you one, especially with young children in the house. If the kitten is off a random gumtree advert or similar then you can add potential health issues to your list of cons.

Yes cats can and do have accidents. Tends to be worse in kittenhood, better in adulthood, and can regress again when they hit their senior years. That’s wee and poo. Vomit can happen at any point, usually because the cat has greedily eaten too much or too quickly. If you can’t handle that and things like scratched furniture then maybe not the best choice of pet for you.

Kittens can be hard work, they gave a lot of energy and you sound like a very busy mum already. A 3 and 1 yo will not understand a kitten behaviour and could put their hands in the food and tray. I wouldnt get a kitten with toddlers.

Is it ultimately going to be an outdoor cat? If so once it’s outside I guess you have no litter tray to deal with. If it’s going to be an indoor cat can you keep toddlers away from cat poo? I have never had a cat destroy a house. I have one cat currently who I admit has wrecked every carpet going as he likes to use the carpet as a scratching post and tufted all the carpets up, but he’s worth it….I still adore him. The kitten I also have is actually better behaved and hasn’t touched anything she shouldn’t have! They’re both house cats so are inside all the time.

We got 2 at 8 weeks old and I wouldn't say that we experienced all those things. They used the litter and then when they started going outside they stopped using the litter. There is the occasional vomit but you get that with kids too.

They never destroyed any furniture either; they have vertical and horizontal scratchers and a cat tree so hopefully that prevented them being too destructive.

Kitten did wee on a duvet the first day here but that’s the only accident (apart from an elderly incontinent cat who died a few years ago). Maybe the odd bit of cat food gets yacked up if they eat quickly but to be honest the dog sorts it out! 😂

We have a kitten that we obtained through a rescue centre about 18 months ago. She has had one poo-ing accident when she got shut in a room by mistake and 2 incidents of throwing up after receiving pain relief for an injury. She hasn’t destroyed anything in the house. She hasn’t yowled or pulled up the carpets. She’s quite cuddly and enjoys sitting on laps. The main issue is bringing small dead animals into the house and on one memorable occasion a not-dead mouse that she released into my bedroom. The biggest ball-ache is what to do for holidays and cat owners who are way more organised than us booking up catteries.

I think you are right to have doubts, and unrealistic to expect a tiny kitten to be a toddler's playmate. You will need to supervise all interactions so that children and kitten are safe.

While chances are that a single kitten won't do all the annoying and troublesome things you're worried about, chances are it will almost certainly do some annoying and troublesome things, and any prospective cat owner needs to be prepared for that.

We got a kitten 4 years ago.within the week I regretted it,it ran up my and my mums legs and terrorised my youngest who was 4. This went of for about 5/6 week. Then he started going out and never did it again. Best little cat ever ,never damaged furniture or pooed or did a wee outside litterbox ( now goes outside). The only problem and it is a big problem is fleas!!! He goes everywhere and meets up with other cats and often gets them even though we buy flea treatment monthly. I'm constantly vacuuming at the moment.everyone loves him now but life was difficult at the beginning.

I only ever had dogs so maybe I trained him that way, doesnt jump on tables etc because I was very firm at start. But he does sneak upstairs on kids beds which he knows he shouldn't!

You might be better off getting a rescue cat of about six months or older - they're old enough to be neutered and go outside, and aren't quite as mad as a tiny kitten. My two boys were both that age when they arrived (separately) and haven't been any bother - they toilet outside and only scratch their scratching posts.

I have a 5 & 3 year old, got a kitten just before Christmas. He hasn't had one accident anywhere, he hasn't vomited anywhere or caused any mess. My kids absolutely adore him.

I got my kitten when dd was 3 and ds was 1.

She never weed or pooed on anything but her own litter box.

Shes 6 now and we’ve never regretted her.

You can't expect a 3 year old and a kitten to play! The kitten has needle sharp teeth and claws, and is likely to use them! The kitten is also delicate. They need protecting from each other.

Thanks for all the advice , taking it all on board and thinking hard about it . OH wants the kitten too which makes me feel like the mean one having any doubts , almost feel like I'm being shallow thinking of the house at all.

I have young children and one that has picked up every bug going at nursery so I have had a my fair share of vomit on the carpet in past year and wee accidents on the sofa , so I'm not horrified by the idea but I suppose after the stories on here I just had this image in my head of my bedroom covered in cat pee/poo.

When I said the 3 year old can play with the kitten I just meant she would enjoy playing with the fishing rods toys and balls etc., whereas I came across a lot of posts from adults saying they were exhausted from the constant playing the kitten wanted , it wouldn't be unsupervised and I have to supervise 3 year old and baby always now anyway so no real change there.

Kitten would eventually be allowed outside , we live in a very quiet cul-de-sac with lots of quiet roads around us , we also already have a cat flap.

I had 2 kittens from 8 weeks old and the first time we had any wee or poo incidents was when one of them was very old and unwell. None of the cats I had growing up as a child ever destroyed the house.

That said I couldn’t be arsed with a kitten and a 1 and 3 year old. Kitten claws are like needles, toddlers are rarely gentle, it feels like a stressful combination.

What people say about two kittens being easier than one is definitely true. Not just in terms of energy and playing with each other, but learning boundaries. When I volunteered at a cat rescue, so many of the adult cats coming in with behavioural problems had been brought up as single kittens. It's much harder for a human to teach them to not play too rough or bite or scratch.

Generally a calm but confident adult cat is best for a home with small children. You know what you get with an adult rescue cat, and they are a lot more resilient too whereas tiny kittens really need to be handled gently.

We have had a rescue kitten and she never had any accidents, always used the litter tray. Nor did she require that much effort in terms of play especially once she could go out. Have had two adult rescues since and had no issues with them either. You will need to supervise a young child with a kitten though - as people have said they are delicate with sharp teeth, not a great mix. An adult cat is likely to be wise to the danger posed by toddlers and give them a wide berth!

I got a pair of kittens pre-kids, so they were adult cats when kids came along. It is a bit stressful and the cats mostly make themselves scarce when the kids are around (one of them more than the other). We have a stair gate blocking the area with the litter tray so DC2 (20 months old) can't go near it. We move food and water bowls out of her reach too. The cats can still get to them.

if you decide to go for it my advice would be to use a playpen/stair gate type arrangement to ensure that the kitten has a safe space to hang out (including eating and using the litter tray) which is out of reach of the children. You will need to give your teen strict instructions to keep the gate closed so the younger two can't get in.

It's doable but FWIW I think it might be better to wait until your youngest is out of nappies and generally a bit more independent.

You have such a young family OP, I think you are wise to be thinking about it seriously. If I was in your shoes, I would wait a few years.

Always had cats and kittens, I prefer them to go out rather than have litter trays around but even when they do have to use the tray (if we’re away, when they were very young) I just got into a routine with emptying it etc.. I grew up with cats and I am so glad I did. A house just isn’t a home for me without a cat. Mine go out from 7am til about 10pm when they come in and they sleep indoors overnight. My children adore them, (they’re teenagers now). Cats are such good friends. One of life’s joys for me is hearing my little cats jump onto my bed at night and curling up to sleep at my feet.

It’s not shallow to think of the house. Dh and I thought the world our Bengal but the day he scratched three panels on a Duresta sofa I could’ve throttled him.

Kittens are a lot of hard work. Any baby animal is and if your default parent having another dependant will all be on you. I’d be concerned about the baby, you’d need to always keep the younger ones supervised with the kitten at all times so neither came to harm.

I'm guessing you are getting the kitten from a breeder/local ad because no charity rescue would rehome a kitten with such young children

Rescues won't rehome kittens in houses with very small children and there's a very good reason why. Kittens will scratch & bite even while playing, and at the same time are very delicate and are easily badly injured.

Unless you watch carefully 100% of the time that either of the kids are in the same room as the kitten, there could easily be an accident.

And to be honest, most trscues won't even rehome adult cats in a house with toddlers, as at that age they are very grabby especially soft things, and can look on cats as just another, more interesting, toy.

Honestly, wait 5 years and then get a kitten.

We got kittens last year. No accidents, not one. We put throws over anything we didn't want them to shred. They are total delights.

But don't get them young. The best thing is to leave it with its mum until 12 or 13 weeks if you can, then you're unlikely to have any problems.