My cat died suddenly and I’m struggling

[E19897]

Hi everyone,

I just feel I want to speak to people who understand my pain.

Our beloved cat, who we had rescued 12 years ago passed away very suddenly last week. I’m struggling with the grief and sadness and really finding it hard not to feel very guilty (e.g. did we cuddle her enough? Did she know how much we loved her?).

We had some exciting news in the family this weekend and I’ve found myself torn between feeling guilty for feeling excited for them and feeling annoyed that everyone has moved on so quickly from our cat’s death (I know that’s so unreasonable!)

I think I just need reassurance that it’ll get easier and the pain will lessen. I’m so sorry to anyone else in this boat. It’s so hard.

Of course she knew you loved her and I'm sure you gave her lots of cuddles .

You will always miss your cat but it will get easier in time. You will reach a place where you can feel pleasure in remembering the happy times you shared together, but to get there you need to go through the pain of grieving, for as long as it takes.

Don't feel guilty about being glad about other things in your life. Your cat would not want you to be unhappy.

Oh no, I'm so sorry.

I really love my animals, they are part of the family. I can totally understand your devastation here.

Yes! She did know how much you loved her! She did, and you did cuddle her enough.

And it's not "unreasonable" at all. You feel how you feel and however you feel is perfectly okay.

I find it comforting to know that other animals don't live as long as us, so we can never expect them to live with us for our whole life, but we can give them the best life possible and that means everything to them, that is their whole life.

So for her whole life with you she had a loving and caring family and she totally knew that and appreciated it.

But now she is no longer on this earth, and you now have room for a new cat, possibly, who you can again be their whole world, and that's a great thing and a wonderful opportunity. Not saying you should but it's a possible positive.

And my your beautiful cat now rest in peace.

Sorry you've lost your cat. One of ours (from a rescue centre) got hit by a car a couple of years ago and I cried non stop for a week. Spent my evenings staring at the door from the lounge to the garden where he used to it to be let in. Still feel sad every now and then but I've come to terms with the fact that for seven years he had a lovely warm home and a fantastic garden to roam in. We bought a rose bush and buried him under it in the garden....it might sound a bit lame but time will help you realise you did give enough cuddles etc.

Oh, I'm so sorry. It's a bereavement and it's awful. But the sadness will lessen, eventually, though you always remember her and love her.

It's heartbreaking isn't it? Your grieving, it takes time & everyone goes at their own pace. I'm sure you did everything to give them a good life, remember it's the little things you did each day that gave them quality of life, the chin scratches, back ribs, the nibbles & rubbing against your legs. Eventually you will remember the happier times. Thinking of you

I really understand your pain. I lost my cat two years ago. The grief is still with me. I loved him so enormously. I think of him all the time. His litter mate is now 11. I dread losing him too. It’s overwhelming.
I’m truly sorry for your loss.

What a lovely post @woodenwindchimes and so very true, all of it.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Don't feel guilty. If your cat was anything like ours, she would have come looking for you. You gave her 12 great years after her rescue.

We have a wall dedicated to all the cats we have had since we married, a photo of each one. There's 7 pictures there now. 4 of those we chose, 2 were rescue cats and one just decided to move in one day before I married Mrs Osenfrote. We are down to 2 cats now; an older tom and a cheeky young rescue madam.

It really does get easier to live with their loss. You need to grieve. 12 years is a long time💐

Thank you so much for your messages. I have found great comfort in hearing from you all and I’m so sorry to those who have lost their previous cats too.

As the days have passed, the pain is becoming less raw (but still present). The vet called today to say that her ashes are ready to collect and I was a bit caught off guard by the emotions I felt. I think I will feel comforted to have them with me but it just makes it real that she is gone.

*precious

Just wanted to say I'm sorry you have lost your furry friend, but it does get better x

What a beautiful picture.
She looked full of character!

I feel your pain so deeply. I lost both my cats in the space of 18 months. My boy was run over and my girl had massive amounts of fluid in her chest, probably wouldn't have survived the treatment so we chose to put her to sleep. That was last year and I feel guilty every day. I can't look at photos of them or talk about them still. I miss them so much and I hate not having a cat but DH doesn't want any more.

The grief is overwhelming.

I don’t think it ever goes away, you just get better at dealing with it. I still cry over mine after 2.5 years and I think I always will. You get used to it.

I'm so sorry for your loss, they really are such special parts of the family 💐

Of course she knew you loved her, she would have moved out if she thought you didn’t. She spent many many happy years with you.

i was absolutely devastated when my old cat died, I didn’t think I would ever have another. I now have another and she’s not the same, it but its so lovely having a furry friend to greet me when I get home again.

You gave your cat 12 years of love and dreamies. She had comfy places to sleep, humans who adored her, laps to sit on, patches of sun to laze in, she was forgiven for the odd misdemeanour, she was photographed for posterity, she shared happy memorable moments with your family. She was in your life as a loving companion, and you were in hers as her carers and slaves. You both benefitted from the privilege of knowing each other. Those 12 years of happiness for both of you will carry on in your memory for a long time, yes, they are sad memories at the moment, but the happy ones are what in time will be the important ones.