Tips for introducing 2 cats when one is very unhappy please.

[flyingant]

Hi, I took in a stray cat several months ago and she is the friendliest, most affectionate cat I've ever met. She's also very clingy and is literally by my side all the time when I'm home and she's very nervous....of sounds, birds, even cat toys! She's around 5 years old.

I have now taken in another female cat who is around 1.5 years old and I've been keeping her in a separate room and doing some gradual introductions. The cats have been introduced through a small door opening and through a glass door. I've tried feeding them and giving them treats at the same time, on either side of these door, speaking in a calm voice etc. I've also been swapping their rooms around so they can get used to each others' smell and I have 2 Feliway plugins. The new cat is extremely shy and nervous but affectionate and she seems pretty unfazed by my original cat. My original cat, however, is not having any of it. She's hissing and howling, fur all puffed up, won't eat her food/treats if she can see the new cat.

Does anyone have other suggestions I can try? It's only been a few weeks, but I would like to help the process along as much as possible. Does anyone have cats that have never reached a stage where they can be left together?

Bump...just in case anyone has any wise words.

I guess all you can do is persevere, it can take a long time...
Is your older cat playful? Mine are both very playful and love chasing a laser beam and I used to distract them with that when they were getting used to each other. Have you got a door with a gap under so that they could reach with their paws under the door to play without seeing each other (ie. No glass door)? I also put one cat in a carrier to allow them to smell each other but then again my older cat loves her carrier anyway so it wasn't stressful for her.

Trying rubbing a cloth around one cat’s face, especially round mouth, then wipe over other cat’s face, then vice versa.

Thank you for the responses. There's no gap under the door but I"ve held it slightly open with a gap so they can see each other... that's when the hissing sometimes happens. My original cat is actually scared of a laser beam! I have tried them in the same room today and they're both so on edge that they're not interested in toys/playing. It resulted in the older cat chasing the newer one. I have also been wiping fabric around both cats' faces and letting them smell them.

I'll keep persevering. I'd hate to have to return the newer cat!

Are both girls neutered?

Yes, both neutered

I had 3 cats all happily living together. My son came home from work and asked if we could take in his friends cat as his marriage had broken down and he had to move into a single rental room and was not allowed cat but wanted to still see it and was hopeful he could get a rental house in a few months. We took in Bengal cat that was very affectionate with humans but very aggressive with other cats. Even very placid old female cat that when I put down 4 dishes of food she always waits until other cats eaten half of their food before she starts to feed. I had to keep Bengal in separate rooms upstairs and other cats down stairs. I tried feliway, swapping over scented blankets, introducing slowly nothing worked. My cats were terrified of Bengal. In the end my son bought his own house and took Bengal with him. Cat is now very happy being only cat andy cats are much happier without him terrorising them. I was worried one of them might runaway as maybe did not feel safe in own home.

Is your house big enough that they can have separate spaces that are ‘theirs’? If so, stop forcing them to interact. They’ll get there in their own time.

Thanks again for the responses. House is big enough that new cat gets a couple of rooms to herself. It does mean she's shut away by herself much of the time though and she really seems to want to be out and around me - when I try to leave, she grabs at my legs as though to stop me. This is why I'd like to help things progress, I think she'd be happier having free roam of the house... plus, will they get there in their own time, if they're not interacting? I'm fully prepared that it may not work out but rehoming cats is difficult, plus my original cat seems miserable when I leave and go out to work (she's been heard meowing at the door for ages) and I'd like to at least give her the chance of having some feline company.

Often when cats are lonely they don't want another cat, they want us!

Our cats get along really well but they still want and ask for our company and attention too.

This is why I'd like to help things progress, I think she'd be happier having free roam of the house... plus, will they get there in their own time, if they're not interacting?

What I mean is, if the house is big enough they may naturally gravitate to their own areas without needing to be separated by being locked away. From your posts it sounded like you were forcing interactions - (I have tried them in the same room today and they're both so on edge that they're not interested in toys/playing.) Instead just leave the door to the room the new cat is in open while you’re in the house, and allow them to explore around each other gradually.

You’ll need to shut them both away when you’re out, until they’ve established house rules around each other, but don’t force them to interact on your terms, let them come together (or not!) at their own pace.

They may never be buddies - you need to accept that!

We had two rescues, same sorts of ages (5 and just under a year) and got the 5 yr old girl about 6 weeks before the younger boy. They happily co-existed but weren’t ever what you’d say was bonded. She stayed in all the time, he went out. They mostly ignored one another with the odd spat of hissing, him attacking her in play, and one-upmanship on whose lap to sit on. But we’re a family of 4 so plenty of options!

If the younger one is confident to move around the house and wants to, let her. Your older girl will adapt.

5yo cat sees 1.5yo cat as invader. 1.5yo cat is almost still a kitten so a lot less bothered. Don't expect friends, just aim for lack of blood & claws.

Before eyeballing each other I think it helped that my cats got used to scent -- they each patrolled the areas (sniffing away) where the other cats had been without seeing other cats. Don't try new scent + eyeballing at same time. you want them to get to point where they aren't obviously bothered by scent, ideally, before they get to see each other.

Actually the stages to get thru are:
hear each other (only hearing, for at least a few days)
smell each other (until the other scent no longer obviously bothers either side)
eyeball each other (from safe distance, very very briefly)... until they can be calm about this
eyeball each other (in same room, start very very briefly), no escalation in amounts of time in same room until there is nothing worse than tension from last moments spent in same room

slow build up to physical proximity from there

Lots of litter trays, sleep spots, food bowls, any other resources... weirdly, prime sleep spots is the only thing my old cat gets pissed off about, and even that territoriality is improving. He shared food or waited for his chance to get food easily, in contrast.

i successfully introduced a sight hound to household with 3 cats in it (*) recently, so am probably suffering from some kind of smug beginners' luck with introductions, tbf

*had our first nose to nose sniffing today, almost 4 weeks in

I just mean I leave the door between them open, rather than forcing interactions. The older cat is desperate to get in there though. She's currently switching between just sniffing around; sitting at a distance seeming relaxed; staring in a more alert pose; and suddenly pouncing, in which case I'm intervening and removing her.

New cat was initially staying away but now she's just lying there seemingly quite relaxed but keeping her eye on older cat. She's growled a few times when older cat gets closer....again, I intervene and take older cat away.

It's helpful to hear all the stories and advice. I know I need to be patient... I'm still hoping for the best but will maybe take it back a step.

Thanks again