Elderly cat smearing poo and newborn baby - what to do?

[DappledOliveGroves]

So we have three cats, the eldest of which is around 19. We got her 16 years ago as an adoptee.

Over the past couple of years we've had intermittent issues with her scooting her bum across the floor each time she has a poo in the litter tray - she basically sits in it and then drags her bum over the floor. The vet has squeezed her anal glands on numerous occasions and it's made no difference.

The problem is now getting much worse. She's smearing/scooting multiple times a day. The floor is covered in shit streaks which we keep cleaning. Her fur around her tail is matted, stinking and has bits of litter stuck to the poo. She also periodically goes between having normal stools to diarrhoea- the latter she will always sit in and smear.

I end up having to grab her and put her lower half of her body in a bucket of soapy water and try and clean her and get the dried, matted litter off her. She hates this process, fights and yowls to get away and is basically traumatised each time we do it. Even when we do, it's pointless - I washed her today and she then had 2 more episodes of diarrhoea, all stuck to her fur and all transferred across the floor and anywhere she's sat - sofa, chairs etc.

We're back to the vet on Monday but I can't see they have any solutions. She's on thyroid medication but the smearing pre-dates this so I can't see there's a link.

To bring matters to the fore, I now have an 8 day old baby and am at the end of my tether dealing with cat shit all over the house. I can't sit on the sofa to feed as there are poo nuggets on the cushions. I spent today scrubbing the floor and washing the cat whilst trying to look after a newborn and recover from a section.

I feel so bad for the cat - her quality of life is pretty poor now. She's deaf, spends her days wandering around the house (think she has dementia) and being dunked in a bucket to be cleaned. We can't pet her as she's always covered in poo and stinks, despite the washing.

My older daughter (20 year old) who grew up with the cat is adamant we just put up with the situation and tells me I should have prioritised the cat before having a baby. However, despite her insisting that it's 'her' cat and that she adores her, she does nothing to help - doesn't do the litter tray, the smears or the cleaning. But is adamant that we can't consider putting her to sleep.

At the moment I just dread coming downstairs in the morning to be met by shit all over the floor and sofa and a stinking cat. But is this sufficient to PTS? If she didn't have this issue then I wouldn't even be considering it, but given there appears to be no obvious resolution, I don't know what to do for the best.

Anyone with any pearls of wisdom?

You poor thing this sounds awful. My cat does this but only after her worming tablet or if she's got hold of cheese, so it's controllable. Yours sounds like a nightmare.
Have you been in touch with a shelter/charity for advice? Maybe they could do something- even take her off your hands and look after her, which would appease your daughter. Or have you spoken to the vets about shaving round her bum or any medications to harden poop?

I would 100% PTS in your situation.

Your daughter doesn’t get a say unless she’s going to step up and actually look after her.

That sounds really difficult. Can you shut the cat in one room overnight to minimise the mess?

Your cat doesn't sound very well. If the vet cannot pinpoint what is wrong and prescribe effective medication then it's not really fair to keep her alive like this. It's not nice for the cat.

If she is 19 with a suspected poor quality of life then it might be kindest to let her go gently? It sounds like the process of cleaning her will be quite distressing for her. I will be absolutely broken hearted when our cat’s time comes but I think giving a dignified end is the ultimate act of love really. (Actually quite teary writing this.)

Euthanise.

Its time to do the decent thing - for both you and the cat

To be perfectly honest you have given your cat a very good life and now the cat's life is not good and lacks quality. I'd have a very honest chat with the vet about quality of life and prognosis. I would put the baby first, then me and then the cat. I would kindly explain to my daughter that the vet felt the cat was suffering and pts was the kindest thing in the circumstances.

I think it's time to say goodbye.

I'm so sorry Dappled but in this situation I would definitely PTS. Your cat's quality of life is so poor, and she must be miserable being washed several times a day. Especially if she has dementia, it would be the kindest thing, would take the risk away from your baby and the stress away from you. It is not your daughter's decision, the cat is in your house, presumably you pay the vet bills and the pet insurance, food etc, so it is 100% your decision. A tough choice, but it is definitely the kindest thing to do.

Hang on, you've got a newborn, have just had surgery, and you re the one cleaning up cat shit? Who else lives with you?
This is not safe for the baby or you.
DD should be ashamed of herself. If she lives with you, leave her bedroom door open, close all the other doors and let her deal with cat shit in her room.
If she doesn't live with you, either get the cat PTS or get the cat delivered to DD. You don't actually have to tell her that that you PTS the cat, especially if she is going to give you a hard time. The cat is 19, that's quite old for a cat and it will be nearing the end of it's life anyway. It's a sad choice to have to make, but you can't put the baby's health at risk.

It's time to let her go. As unpleasant as it is for you (and I don't underestimate that and understand that you love her)

I'm sorry, but that sounds like a miserable quality of life for your cat. It sounds like the last service you can do her is to give her a peaceful passing.

It sounds bloody horrible for your cat, and for you. Your daughter doesn't get a say unless she's going to take full responsibility for the cat, vet bills, litter trays, shit streaks and shit - clumped fur.

I would be looking at euthanasia - your pets rely on you being their advocate. This is one of those times. Your daughter is being selfish.

@Judystilldreamsofhorses

If she is 19 with a suspected poor quality of life then it might be kindest to let her go gently? It sounds like the process of cleaning her will be quite distressing for her. I will be absolutely broken hearted when our cat’s time comes but I think giving a dignified end is the ultimate act of love really. (Actually quite teary writing this.)

This, completely. I've had cats that lived into their 20s and were quite sprightly but I've also got a 13 year old cat who is quite 'elderly' seeming now and I would be delighted(and surprised) if he could make it to 19.

19 is a great age, the cat has had a lovely life and been loved and taken care of. It now isn't very well or very happy and really, what's the point of prolonging this? I truly think we have a lifelong responsibility to our pets, and am a total cat lover so I don't say this lightly, but that responsibility also extends to knowing when it's time to say goodbye.

If you are thinking of keeping her in the short term the cat is confined to your daughters room with her cat box. A 20 year old is old enough for tough love.

Ask the vet is it possible to treat the cat with antihistamine for an allergic reaction? One of the dogs had ongoing general inflammation which flared up around her ears and bum.

My cat went through similar at the same age and sad though it was, it was time to pts. She was having no life and it was heartbreaking to see her. In your shoes I would absolutely euthanise.

I think if you just look at the quality of life for this cat it gives you the answer.

Compare the cat now to 2 years ago/ 5 years ago.

The cat isn't happy being washed but you need to do this for hygiene- you are upsetting the cat every time you do this.

What about you? You can't go on like this!

Mostly your baby though as pp have said.

I think the decision is made.

Sounds like your dd has issues about her sibling tbh!

Thanks, all, thought I'd be crucified for considering it. It's such a horrible situation - there is some quality of life - in the summer she likes to sit outside on the decking and even now she'll still occasionally have crazy zoomies moments, bounding around the house. Bit overall she's either hiding as she knows she's likely to be dunked and washed or she's trying to groom herself but I'm sure her licking huge mouthfuls of poo just makes her sicker and plays more havoc with her bowels on the long run.

DD does love the cat so much - they grew up together - but this doesn't translate into any practical help whatsoever. She says she'll take the cat when she moves out - but when, where and what landlord will take a cat is anyone's guess and any possible move is likely to be months away.

I don't know if going to a groomer and having her read end shaved would help, but I imagine it'll cause her more stress having someone pinning her down and shaving her ☹️.

Think back to how she was a year ago, OP? How is her quality of life now in comparison?

5mg pred once daily to assuage the 20yo's conscience then if that doesn't work, euthanase. And make the 20yo wash the cat's bum so she understands that it is as unpleasant for the washee as the washer.

What are you feeding the cat?

One of mine had surgery to remove most of his colon following chronic constipation and then spent 12+ months with diarrhoea and the associated mess and cleaning you’ve mentioned. He is now pooing almost normally having been on a diet of specialised dry food plus probiotic powder in his wet food. It was not fun, but we are pretty much back to normal now.

All that said, 19 is a grand age and if the gastro problems are alongside dementia then I don’t think a peaceful PTS is wrong; if it’s the poo and the mess that’s causing you to feel this way I’d really encourage a look at the cat’s diet (apologies of course if you already have). Honestly I thought my cat would never produce a solid shit ever again but the difference between then and now is astounding.

Aww the poor old cat. I don't think the current situation is fair on anyone including the cat.
I think the kindest is to PTS as the cat must be distressed, they hate not being clean.
Congrats on the newbie, that's some age gap.

If you’re not quite ready to PTS have you thought about using a dog cage overnight and when you’re out the house. It’ll be roomie enough to put a litter box, food, cat basket etc and restrict any mess.

I would have her PTS and then tell DD she died peacefully in her sleep which is technically true. I can't imagine the stress of dealing with cat shit everywhere and a newborn baby.