After 5 weeks… our poor boy.

[Catty99]

One of our dear cats went missing a week or so before Christmas. Today his body was discovered by some very kind people, and he’s been returned to us.

They thought he was asleep, but he was simply not alive. It doesn’t look like he was hurt (no marks or wounds on his little body).

We were so worried about him as where we live minus temperatures are the norm this time of year.

He was found not that far from us. We’d spent ages looking for him, whistling (my husband had “trained” him and his brother to come home for food when we whistled) and calling, and spent some time focused on the area where he was found. Our whole local community was helping to look for him. But no joy. I feel like we didn’t try hard enough. I don’t know much about how quickly cats decompose but his body seems “ok” so I wonder if it was recently that he died. But then why didn’t he come home before? Maybe he’d ventured far but was on his way back to us. Too many possibilities.

He was the sweetest cat. We got him and his brother from a farm that was overrun with kittens in Spring 2020. He was shy but really warmed to us and became very affectionate. He was soooo soft, and really looked after his little brother.

So his body is here, my husband wanted to see him, so I’m waiting for him to get home from work… I don’t think we should let the kids see his little body (they 7 and 10). Do we show his brother (who’s definitely been aloof the last few weeks)? I read somewhere about showing their companions the body.

In one sense it’s a relief to know what’s happened. In another sense it’s just so blimmin’ sad.

Aww I am so sorry. I was devestated when one of my kittens died like this

I’m so sorry for your loss I don’t know if you should show his brother, he’s getting used to him not being around already so not sure if it would be worse to let him smell his scent after all this time. I’m sorry you didn’t find him when you were looking, don’t think you weren’t looking hard enough, it’s sounds like you did all you could.
There is a litter tray memorial thread if you would like to post some pictures.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_litter_tray/3965838-The-Litter-Tray-Memorial-Thread?msgid=110463743

Awwww, my heartfelt sympathies to you. We lost a cat in similar circumstances last May. She was only just coming up to a year. We did find her after 4 days, and like you say, her body was perfect. Not a mark. We still to this day do not know why she died.
We did show our other cats, who has a good sniff and seemed to understand. We did show my then 8 and 5 year olds too, who were very matter of a fact after an initial cry. I think it helped them also ultimately. They know there wasn't anything "scary".
I'm so sorry. It is absolutely devastating. You did everything you could to find him. At least you have some closure now, and know he wasn't hurt.

Oh gosh how awful, I'm so sorry

I would definitely show his brother - apparently you're supposed to show other animals the body if possible as it helps them to understand what's happened.

I wouldn't necessarily show your children, though, as they might just find it really upsetting.

I would show his brother, they understand death. Years ago one of ours was found dead with no marks.

I’m so sorry, it broke my heart to lose my boy in Nov 2019 and I’m still not over it.

Yes you absolutely need to show his brother the body. Apparently it shortens the grieving time for the other cat as they understand and are not looking for them.

We didn’t show the kids in the end. After 5 weeks they’d got used to the idea of him being gone. They wanted to see it but I think it would’ve haunted them too much tbh. Whilst the body was in ok condition, his fur looked tatty compared to normal (he was soooo soft) and his eyes were open and sunken (sorry if TMI).

The police brought him round in a bin bag and we tried to show his brother, but he had a quick sniff and then the rustling of the bag scared him off.

He went to the vets this morning to be cremated. I kept crying today, it felt worse than yesterday. I’ve run through all the what if’s and maybes and shoulda/woulda/coulda…. Processing I guess.

It’s the loss of him, the sweet little guy, but also facing mortality and fate and all that jazz too.

I know we’ll be ok but my god it’s so horrible and sad.

His brother could probably smell him and realised. It is very hard to endure, you lost something you loved with no warning. Their your little babies.

I lost mine to the road & I'm not having another outdoor cat until I can move house to a garden that can be cat proofed, I know I couldn’t risk it again.

It’s such a responsibility isn’t it. And different to having DC who you can communicate properly with and “control” to an extent. We had expected so much more joy to give to / get from him. He had the sweetest personality. And totally won over my husband who grew up with dogs. We used to laugh about their bromance.

We have discussed whether, in time, we should get a companion for his brother. It’s too early now, but they were such a pair, often hanging out together playing in the same area. So I think brother is missing his presence, but I worry that a new cat would just upset him, and at this point I can’t bare the thought of more cat-related trauma.

No rush with these things I guess, we’ll know if/when the time is right to get another.

Thanks for all the kind words everyone.