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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Timid/shy rescue cat help

35 replies

Emmajane88 · 05/01/2022 13:44

Hello

You may have seen that I posted a few days back about semi-feral cats. Well, I've come to the conclusion that the cat I adopted just after Christmas is not so much semi-feral as very shy/timid. Any advice and positive stories very welcome to anyone who hasn't seen my previous post.

He is over 6 months old but under a year old and is currently based in the spare bedroom. First two nights in a large dog crate and since out in the room. He tends to stay under the sofa in there. He meows when he thinks he's getting food (and sometimes when its attention) which I have come to understand means there has been some human contact previously (he's from a farm).

The first few days/nights he didn't eat/drink/litter.
Day three onwards he did and has since eaten out in the open while we're in the room, although very nervous.
A couple of days ago he allowed himself to come closer for treats (under the sofa) then let us touch him on the head (which he defiantly likes) and rolls around under the sofa. He has occasionally really purred too.

He has over the past few days started to sleep in different parts of the room - near the radiator under a desk or in the original crate. But as soon as we enter he goes back into hiding and stays there. Sometimes is up for attention sometimes not at all and it seems like a backwards step.

I'd love to hear your thoughts and advice and of course any tips!! We visited more yesterday than we ever did before and today he seems more timid than previous days...

Thank you

OP posts:
ItsSnowJokes · 05/01/2022 13:47

Just keep going very slowly. He will come out when he feels more confident. How about a fishing rod toy so he doesn't have to get close to you but can see how much fun it is to play. Keep talking in the room to him, he will get used to your voices and the sounds of the house.

KittenCatcher · 05/01/2022 13:51

Would he sleep on a cosy radiator bed, blanket or in a box. Have you tried feliway plug ins. You could put a cosy fleece or sheepskin down on a rug and just sit there with him quietly with a few dreamies or pieces of chicken.

Original poster
Emmajane88 · 05/01/2022 13:58

Thanks for the quick replies! Yes we have a Feliway plug in (been in for a week). Not sure how long they last but assume t rub rub down quite quickly. He loves a Dreamie that’s for sure.

Yes also have a few fishing toys. He often can be heard playing with them alone - by the squeaks! I just hope he/we can build his confidence

OP posts:
DrPhilYourGuts · 05/01/2022 14:07

It sounds like you are making fast progress so I wouldn't be concerned.

Re the fishing rod, I think something like a stick with ribbon/fluff on the end, like this was popular.

I would also say just being around him, in the same room, and letting him come to you is best bet. He will probably have days like today where its all a bit overwhelming or tired, don't take it too personally.

Lots of Dreamies and fuss.

In the past I have kept cats limited to certain areas of the house initially, if possible in your layout. Makes them easier to find and less for them to cope with early on.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 05/01/2022 14:11

I have an extremely shy and timid rescue cat 11 years old, she's been here 6 months and I didn't see her for the first two, she was under the sofa.
Now she's the boss of the house, velcroed to my lap, demanding to watch tv and youtube and have attention, very noisy and very confident.
He will come round, he just needs time.

Allergictoironing · 05/01/2022 14:35

As I said on your other thread, you are actually doing very well. Of course you will have good days & bad days, but he's only been home under a fortnight and I can bet his current "bad" days are as good if not better than his "good" days were a week ago.

Original poster
Emmajane88 · 06/01/2022 16:22

Thanks for the replies all.

The last two days he has actually come out from under the sofa to get a treat and a fuss - I can tell he is desperate to let himself go for the sake of the stroking and tickling. He soon goes back under though when he's had enough (5-10 mins) and can look a bit overwhelmed with himself...! I'm hoping that with a little more of this he will learn that all is well and just come on out when he wants...

OP posts:
Allergictoironing · 06/01/2022 18:09

Yay! Thats real progress, so pleased he's come that far already.

Original poster
Emmajane88 · 07/01/2022 11:56

How do you think we would get him equal acceptance of both me and DH? I hate the idea of him having a favourite (me)... we try to go in equally at set times taking it in turns... sometimes he is more nervous of the DH... is this all about scents?

OP posts:
Allergictoironing · 07/01/2022 13:05

It could be about scent, it could be size, it could be that he's been harmed or threatened by a man in the past, it could simply be something about the way your DH holds himself. It could be coincidence on the timing. Or it could just be that he prefers you as a person for no particular reason - we've all heard of pets who choose which is their person for no apparent reason.

Try not to worry about it. All is going very well and at a comparatively rapid pace, you're doing a great job Smile

Georgeskitchen · 07/01/2022 13:24

Sounds like he's getting there in his own time x

SallyWD · 07/01/2022 13:56

We also adopted a very timid rescue cat who hid for over a month! We didn't see him for weeks. My only advice is to give him time. Don't force your attention on him or try to hold/touch him. Just let him come to you when he's ready. Be present, let him get used to you but also keep a distance so he doesn't feel threatened. It could take a couple of weeks or it could take months but he'll come round. My rescue cat is not the most loving, affectionate companion who follows me everywhere.

Dancingsmile · 07/01/2022 15:05

Get a stiff cube cardboard box. Cut a large cat sized hole on one side then different sized holes on four sides. Some big enough for paws to poke out of a couple big enough for a head. Dangle things on string by the holes. This will give him a space to hide but play with you at the same time.
I bet he'll be settled in the next couple of months the way he's going.

Mabelface · 07/01/2022 15:24

This is my son's cat who's been with him a year. He was a stray for a long time and he's now a house cat. He's still very skittish and spends the majority of his time in the bedroom, but he loves a good scritch and is getting a little more confident. It can actually take a few years for a timid cat to settle properly, and it sounds like yours is doing really well.

Timid/shy rescue cat help
catmania · 07/01/2022 17:03

My little Holly was a feral and lived under my bed for weeks. I just let her go at her own pace. I would lay on the floor and just talk to her without making eye contact. She is now the most loving little bundle of loveliness who dosnt stop chattering to me. The day she let me tickle her tummy was the day i knew she trusted me.

Timid/shy rescue cat help
Original poster
Emmajane88 · 07/01/2022 17:14

Amazing stories everyone! Very useful at putting me at ease!

@catmania how many weeks we talking? ;) Did you have yours in a separate room and what milestone progress did you realise you were making?

@Mabelface well, he's cute isn't he!!

OP posts:
Mabelface · 07/01/2022 17:19

He's very cute. My son has just updated me that since my eldest son and I visited for Christmas, he's come out of his shell more and is using the cat bed in the hall and he's more vocal. 😁

SallyWD · 07/01/2022 17:51

@SallyWD

We also adopted a very timid rescue cat who hid for over a month! We didn't see him for weeks. My only advice is to give him time. Don't force your attention on him or try to hold/touch him. Just let him come to you when he's ready. Be present, let him get used to you but also keep a distance so he doesn't feel threatened. It could take a couple of weeks or it could take months but he'll come round. My rescue cat is not the most loving, affectionate companion who follows me everywhere.
I meant to say "my cat is NOW the most loving, affectionate companion who follows me everywhere".
catmania · 08/01/2022 10:17

@Mabelface

He's very cute. My son has just updated me that since my eldest son and I visited for Christmas, he's come out of his shell more and is using the cat bed in the hall and he's more vocal. 😁
It was about six weeks before she trusted me. I put her a bed, water and food under my bed and left her to get used to her new surroundings before i made any attempt to chat to her. I would read in bed and a little face would appear at the side of my bed but would run back if i spoke to her. He just needs time and patience but you will be well rewarded. Considering Holly was a little wild one who had had no human interaction up until she was about five months old, she is an absolute little gentle soul. She even lets me blow raspberries on her tummy which she seems to enjoy. If i did that to my other cat i would pay dearly.
Original poster
Emmajane88 · 13/01/2022 11:44

Progress update: he now comes out to eat and for attention/treats but you dare move suddenly he’s back under the sofa. If you’re out of the room he sleeps in a bed near the radiator (not a hidey hole).

Have a first vets appointment tomorrow. Should I cover him in a blanket to put him in the carrier? It’s annoyingly one of those front opening ones… any other tips for a short journey like this? It’s two mins away by car. Very concerned about breaking all trust gained!

How long do you think he’ll hate me for afterwards… a day? Longer?

Timid/shy rescue cat help
OP posts:
SallyWD · 13/01/2022 11:54

Bless him! That's very good progress. Yes I'd put a blanket over the cat carrier. We had such a nightmare getting our cat in to a front opening carrier - it took about 30 mins, both me and the cat were traumatised and we were late for the vets appointment! I ended up buying a top opening carrier from Amazon. Game changer! Takes a couple of seconds. I find my cat always loves me MORE after the vets because he's so relieved and happy to be home.

SpringDaisies · 14/01/2022 06:31

@Emmajane88 he sounds like a cat that takes things to heart, so he might hold the vet trip against you for awhile! Don’t worry, hopefully the trips are infrequent and you know they are necessary for his health.

I’d say yes to the blanket and also talk to him the whole journey, so he knows you are there too. The strange smells of the Vet’s might be very overwhelming for him, so give him lots of time to settle.

Well done on the progress so far! I think people should get parental leave for the first 3 weeks with a new kitten!

Sounds like once you have his trust, you’ll have it forever, and you’ll be inspiring new, nervous kitten owners in a years time, saying how after a shy start, he now he won’t leave your (or your DH’s side - even in the bathroom!)

Fluffycloudland77 · 14/01/2022 07:54

I’ve never used a blanket, I scoop them in using the door to push their bums in. It’s quick until they realise that standing like a meerkat makes it impossible.

Original poster
Emmajane88 · 14/01/2022 14:37

I today made the mistake of placing the carrier in the room today ready for tomorrow so that he could potentially get used to it...and he hates it. He's gone into hiding. How do they know??!!

I'm going to have to do the towel trick tomorrow anyway...

So do you think I should leave it or remove it? I've been watching and reading way too much advice on this!

OP posts:
Original poster
Emmajane88 · 14/01/2022 15:59

By that I mean should I leave the carrier in the room with the cat or remove it until tomorrow? :/

OP posts:
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