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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Do cats get lonely?

20 replies

msc6199 · 20/12/2021 21:39

The reason I ask is because every night, without fail, when we all go up to bed, our cat will spend hours crying on the stairs. She wants for nothing - her litter tray is always clean and fresh for her, she has clean water, wet food and biscuits available to her all the time. She has plenty of toys that she enjoys playing with in the daytime. Could it just be that she doesn't like it when we all go up to bed and she isn't getting showered with attention and affection? She is almost 3 years old, although we've had her for about 6 months.

Any tips would be so gratefully received! X

OP posts:
AnneElliott · 20/12/2021 21:39

Is she allowed in the bedrooms with you? Our like sleeping with us and will cry if we shut the door!

Original poster
msc6199 · 20/12/2021 21:41

@AnneElliott

Is she allowed in the bedrooms with you? Our like sleeping with us and will cry if we shut the door!
She is, we keep our doors ajar for her to come and go as she pleases yet she insists on crying on the stairs!!
OP posts:
Fireflygal · 20/12/2021 21:42

Mine will want to sleep close by,on the floor by the bed or just outside an open door. Crying could also be wanting to get out.

Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 20/12/2021 21:52

What sort of life did she have previously? One of our pair of db's died. Lone dcat sat crying for months. Daily.
Dkitten cured him
..

Original poster
msc6199 · 20/12/2021 21:58

Oh bless. We have considered this.

She was used for breeding :(
DM has suggested maybe she misses her kittens. Although they were soon sold off and she was pregnant with the next litter.
She has landed on her feet here, we all give her so much love and cuddles and attention and she seems so happy. She only does this at night when we go to bed!

OP posts:
mrswarthog · 20/12/2021 22:24

Yes, we lost our beloved Bene last year and his brother (littermate) was loudly desolate, despite us all being at home with him. We've been occupied by our new overlady since October and he's so much happier and calmer.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 20/12/2021 23:21

Our cat likes to be where we are in the evenings, but in the day she often goes off and sleeps on one of the beds - pre Covid she was on her own through the day so I think she has just kept that up. In warm weather she will happily lie in the garden all day, but she does like to come and check up on us if we don’t regularly go out to see her. She hates if other cats pass through, and I think she would move out if we even thought about getting another cat.

At nights she is shut in the kitchen as otherwise she is a pest, mithering for her breakfast from dawn. She knows the routine and trots through there when I say “it’s bedtime, baba” and switch the lights out.

Nothing coming over her - look.

Do cats get lonely?
Mumdiva99 · 21/12/2021 07:29

We have 2 cats. Some nights one cat will miowe loudly once we are all in bed (is that what you mean by cry?) She's usually just bored and trying to get attention- she can also access some bedrooms and does sleep on the bed.

Tiring her out in the evening helps avoid this - so playing laser and making her run all over the house. Then she will get tired and go for a sleep before we go to bed.

DontKeepTheFaith · 21/12/2021 08:00

Our Dcat meows loudly in the early hours of the morning. Her wake up is about 2 hours before ours!

I truly believe she would hate another cat, she just expects us to be her slaves. She came from a multi cat house and the rescue recommended she be an only cat as she was fighting with her brother.

We have taken to putting her downstairs in the room she has her favorite sleeping spots in if she starts meowing in the night. I hate doing it but we both need sleep.

I think cats just like attention!

JeremiahObadiahJackanoryJonez · 21/12/2021 08:10

One of ours cries and we think it’s when she can’t find anyone. If we just call her name she runs to where we are and settles without fuss.

She used to fur pull when we were all out at work/school but since dh and I have been working from home she’s stopped.

We do have 2 other cats but she doesn’t really like them!

Rainbowabacus1 · 21/12/2021 08:13

Ours used to do this. We put a fleecy blanket on the landing and they sleep happily on that now :)

HappyGreen · 21/12/2021 08:20

Mine does this every single night. Sleeps all day and as soon as we head for bed she gets all agitated and vocal Confused.
What usually works for me is calling her into the room where she fusses for a bit then I have to quite firmly tell her to lie down. She's very dog like for a cat and happily obliges Grin.

Original poster
msc6199 · 22/12/2021 22:45

@Judystilldreamsofhorses

Our cat likes to be where we are in the evenings, but in the day she often goes off and sleeps on one of the beds - pre Covid she was on her own through the day so I think she has just kept that up. In warm weather she will happily lie in the garden all day, but she does like to come and check up on us if we don’t regularly go out to see her. She hates if other cats pass through, and I think she would move out if we even thought about getting another cat.

At nights she is shut in the kitchen as otherwise she is a pest, mithering for her breakfast from dawn. She knows the routine and trots through there when I say “it’s bedtime, baba” and switch the lights out.

Nothing coming over her - look.

Absolutely beautiful 😍
OP posts:
Original poster
msc6199 · 22/12/2021 22:46

Thank you all so much for your really helpful suggestions. I've brought her up to bed with me for the last couple of nights where she has settled, slept all through the night and is purring away at the end of the bed. I think she was just getting lonely when all of her friends had gone up to bed!! Bless her. Pets are amazing xxx

OP posts:
JeremiahObadiahJackanoryJonez · 23/12/2021 07:44

Glad you’ve found a solution - it works for us as well Grin

Want2beme · 23/12/2021 16:01

Not sure if they get lonely, but they do like a bit of company. These 2 spend a fair amount of time side by side

Do cats get lonely?
TheCreamCaker · 23/12/2021 16:39

My old boy (17 or so) likes to go to bed with us. I carry him up and tell him it's bedtime Grin

Do cats get lonely?
violetbunny · 23/12/2021 18:22

It might not be "lonely" so much as wanting to feel safe and secure when she settles down for a deep sleep, and she feels like she gets that security from you. Cats are incredibly vulnerable when they sleep.

One of ours happily catnaps on the outdoor furniture all day but basically sleeps with one eye open. At night when she has a "proper" sleep, she will meow and refuse to settle down until she is somewhere she feels safe (nowadays usually underneath her special blanket at the end of our bed, but sometimes inside a box or cupboard will do).

LadyLazarus40 · 23/12/2021 18:27

My cat decides when it’s time for me to go to bed and gets all agitated until I actually go and get into bed.

She goes outside for some of the night (has cat flap) but when she comes back in walks up the stairs and along the landing shouting loudly until I wake up and say hello to her - it’s like her saying “honey I’m home”.

icedcoffees · 23/12/2021 20:53

I don't really buy the whole "cats are solitary animals" thing - in my experience they are generally quite happy with company.

We currently have three adults aged between 6 and 1. None are related and it's really heartwarming to see them together. They wash each other, sleep together, share food, water and trays with each other and pine if one is at the vets Smile

I'll never again just have a solo cat - we did it once and while she wasn't unhappy, she seems much more content with some companions around.

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