Which cat to adopt to go with my female adult?

[flyingant]

Hi,

I adopted a stray female, adult cat several months ago and she is very clingy, following me around everywhere, always on me, sleeps with me etc. She also seems quite anxious, over grooms (herself and me!) and just doesn't seem to like being by herself. As I'm out at work all day most days, I'm considering getting another cat. I'm not convinced she would like having another cat around, but I'd like to give it a try. I'm thinking of fostering a cat without making a commitment to keep it and seeing how it goes. From what I've read, the advice seems to be to get a young male cat. I'm thinking the younger it is, the less threatened my current cat would be? I also wonder, though, if an energetic young kitten would be too overwhelming for her as she's pretty chilled and not very energetic (vet thinks around 5 years old). I've read lots about introducing them slowly, keeping them separate at first, introducing them, to each others' smell etc. I wondered if anyone had any other advice please?

Definitely don't go for really young - she would almost certainly find it really annoying and hate it. Go for an adult. Age and sex don't really have much bearing on things - it's how the cat is with other cats that's important. So approach a rescue - don't be specific about what you are looking for, other than a cat that likes other cats, and see what they come up with.

Yes, I've also thought about going for another chilled, adult cat but isn't that when territory wars start?

I wouldn’t introduce another cat, at all to be honest. It often doesn’t work out, sometimes it can lead to the existing cat leaving home. Cats don’t always appreciate being given a friend. Good luck with whatever you decide.

No, there is no reason for territory wars to start. I pair up cats all the time. Some cats just prefer to be alone, but most don't it seems. The key is to adopt a cat that is known to actively like other cats, as that's half the battle won already.

Are you sure another cat is the answer? I know my adult female would be absolutely apoplectic if we introduced another!

My friend got another cat as she thought hers 'needed a friend' and they didn't get on at all. Eventually they had to get a cat behaviourist in, and now they just tolerate each other.

I only say it as I think sometimes people apply human emotions to cats, when actually they're solitary creatures for the most part who don't mind being an 'only cat'.

It’s still very early days for her. Our rescue girl is still making progress after 5 months. It’s one step forward two steps back but we’re getting there with her.

I’d use a beaphur plug in to calm her down and hang fire on adopting a cat.

Thanks for all the feedback.

Ahhh, I go round in circles thinking about this. I read lots about cats being social creatures who prefer to live in packs and them being introduced to other cats and being the best of friends and getting on great and being wonderful company for each other when the owner is out/away... and then I read about cats being solitary creatures who wouldn't appreciate having a friend thrust upon them and the very thought basically ruining their lives!

I wish I just knew which one she is!

We had 4 at one point and it didn’t really work.

How does she react if she sees a cat outside? Is she curious or defensive?

I wouldn't get another cat. Cats aren'tpack animals like dogs, and only litter mates or Mums and offspring are bonded, non related cats do little more than tolerate each other. I think it could be really stressful for your cat.

I've always paired up my surviving cats when their littermate has died. But it has been for me, not them.

Not one single older cat has appreciated it. Best we have had is toleration.

I've done older girl with kittens - she was fucking livid but at least they entertained themselves and she was clearly the boss.

Now I have girl with boy of same age. Boy was known to be easy with living with other cats. He is fine, he doesn't give a shit. A year in she is still guarding doorways, hissing at him and her happiest times are when he is outside.

Cats don't want friends. Even my littermates have been super loved up until age 3 and then it's over. Old lady cat's happiest day was when her sister died

Thanks again for the replies. Maybe it's just in my head that she'd be happier with a friend for company. When there is someone around, she does seem to be very happy and living her best life. I just can't help but feel she's lonely by herself for hours but maybe that's me projecting

...oh, and to answer @Fluffycloudland77, we're in an apartment, so I don't see her reaction to other cats, apart from one time at the vets when she growled!

I wouldn't get another. I did this when I just had one female cat and it didn't work. The older cat hated the new one with a passion and even in later years only tolerated the other one. I vowed next time to get a pair of sibling kittens which, when the other cats were both gone, I did. They loved each other at the start - so many photos of them cuddled up together. Cut to today and they really don't like each other any more. Never sit in the same room and will growl at each other over food.

Whereas my 7 year old siblings still sleep together much of the time, follow each other around the house and play fight together. They share food bowls (they have 2 out, but share & swap while eating), share water, share a litter tray (always had 2 out, they have literally never used one of them). Totally bonded still.

She’s probably asleep while your out.

It’s very early days between you both too.