Missing cat been seen on our street but won't come home?

[prettyprinceofpartiez]

So my very distinctive looking Bengal cat totally disappeared 3 weeks ago - he's outdoors but is like a little dog, very attached and bonded to us. Haven't heard a peep about him in that time, despite posting on our local area and estate FB groups. I've been convinced he got into a van and become displaced as he has previous for doing this. But strangely, one of our neighbours today messaged to say he'd seen my cat wandering around a car parked down our road. He knows my cat well and as he's so unusual looking he was 100% adamant it was him, but he disappeared out of sight quickly, like he'd jumped over a wall. But why hasn't he come home?

Has anyone ever had this, where a cat is off living nearby but won't come home? He's clearly a well loved (and expensive!) cat and it seems so odd that he wouldn't come home if he were able. We love him and he loves us very much! It also seems strange no one else has seen him in the last 3 weeks as he normally roams around quite freely and is seen lots.

They wear collars if their lost.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_litter_tray/2138803-If-in-doubt-feed

[quote Fluffycloudland77]They wear collars if their lost.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_litter_tray/2138803-If-in-doubt-feed[/quote]
While I think that post is well-intentioned, I'm afraid I can't agree that people should just feed any cat they see.

Plenty of cats won't wear collars, for starters, and most sensible owners will use quick-release ones in case they get caught in tree branches etc. So no collar does not mean no owner, by any stretch of the imagination.

None of mine wear collars as they tend to chew them off each other

@icedcoffees no but if you see a cat that looks lost, is hanging about, crying for food etc then feed
The cat neuterer is an experienced rescue and it's always better if you're unsure to feed than let a cat starve half to death before anyone does anything
Obviously paper collar and chip check too!

[quote NMC2022]@icedcoffees no but if you see a cat that looks lost, is hanging about, crying for food etc then feed
The cat neuterer is an experienced rescue and it's always better if you're unsure to feed than let a cat starve half to death before anyone does anything
Obviously paper collar and chip check too! [/quote]
I know she is an experienced rescuer, but cats are experts at hanging around and pretending to be hungry.

My own cats will stand and scream in front of their (full) biscuit bowl because they want wet food instead.

If a cat has found food somewhere once, they'll go back that place and cry look sad and starving until they get food again. It's what they do.

I'm all for feeding cats who are clearly strays - no collars, fleas, skin/bones, wary of humans etc. but most cats have homes and are just chancers who like to see how often they can get an extra meal, lol.

The risk of feeding them is the cat will keep coming to you (especially if you give them things like tuna) and they won't go back home as much. It's not fair. Most cats have homes where they are fed, loved and cared for. They don't need to be fed by well-meaning neighbours down the road - especially nowadays when you could take photos and post on social media if you're unsure.

Our local FB groups are full of posts saying "we have a stray cat in our garden and we've been feeding it" - nine times out of ten, someone will pop up and say "that's my cat - he has a home and a family, please stop feeding him, he's not starving or lost, just greedy"

[quote NMC2022]@icedcoffees no but if you see a cat that looks lost, is hanging about, crying for food etc then feed
The cat neuterer is an experienced rescue and it's always better if you're unsure to feed than let a cat starve half to death before anyone does anything
Obviously paper collar and chip check too! [/quote]
If they're clearly uncared for then it goes without saying you should help a hungry and stray cat. However my cat is glossy, healthy and well fed. He does not need feeding, and is clearly loved and cared for - someone is likely feeding him and as a result he isn't coming home, that is wrong.

He won't wear a collar and will scratch til he's bleeding and scratches it off altogether, so no choice in that regard. That doesn't mean he isn't owned or looked after.

DobbyTheHouseElk

I wish people wouldn’t feed cats that aren’t theirs. My NDN is always feeding my DCat. She knows he has a home. Another person down the road, took in a cat who had a home. After a week decided he was a stray and kept him. He had a home at the end of the garden, but she took him and won’t let him out.

A stay cat doesn’t usually look healthy and clean and wear a collar
But what when you're faced with a cat that comes to the door all the time/sleeps outside the door, tries to get into the house regularly? The neighbours cat went downhill quickly until a few other neighbours started feeding him. He just wasn't going home!!!

@stayathomer

DobbyTheHouseElk

I wish people wouldn’t feed cats that aren’t theirs. My NDN is always feeding my DCat. She knows he has a home. Another person down the road, took in a cat who had a home. After a week decided he was a stray and kept him. He had a home at the end of the garden, but she took him and won’t let him out.

A stay cat doesn’t usually look healthy and clean and wear a collar
But what when you're faced with a cat that comes to the door all the time/sleeps outside the door, tries to get into the house regularly? The neighbours cat went downhill quickly until a few other neighbours started feeding him. He just wasn't going home!!!

Talk to the owner and discuss. Don't just feed their cat without checking with them first

@stayathomer

DobbyTheHouseElk

I wish people wouldn’t feed cats that aren’t theirs. My NDN is always feeding my DCat. She knows he has a home. Another person down the road, took in a cat who had a home. After a week decided he was a stray and kept him. He had a home at the end of the garden, but she took him and won’t let him out.

A stay cat doesn’t usually look healthy and clean and wear a collar
But what when you're faced with a cat that comes to the door all the time/sleeps outside the door, tries to get into the house regularly? The neighbours cat went downhill quickly until a few other neighbours started feeding him. He just wasn't going home!!!

But surely if you know where it lives, then you go and speak to the neighbours or take it back home yourself?

Feeling pretty angry right now. Just saw a post on FB of someone asking if anyone owned a cat that's been turning up at their house. Another person has commented saying 'Feed it - that's your cat now! We adopted our three cats when they started hanging around our garden, they obviously hated their last home!'

And this is why there are so many heartbroken owners begging for people to watch out for their missing cats.

@icedcoffees

If you are referring to my comment about the cat who was “stolen”. The owner didn’t care and let the thief keep the cat. So maybe the cat was better off. I don’t know.

Reference my DCat. My neighbours are always luring him in. I go round and ask for him back and they laugh and say, but he’s so happy. He’s happy because he’s getting fed constantly with treats. They know he’s well loved and fed. But they like to have lots of cats in the house.

But surely if you know where it lives, then you go and speak to the neighbours or take it back home yourself?
Everyone has spoken to them, and theyve gone to all of our houses to find that typically the cat isn't there. It's nearly comedic now, we've said it, they come over, cat is gone! They think the greyhounds at the back of their house's garden is scaring them off. They said they'd tried to make him a house cat and he sat at the window miaowing.

I’m sorry about your lost cat and hope you find home soon.

The problem is that cat owners want to be able to have it both ways. They want their cats to be able to have their ‘right to roam’, possibly going into other people’s houses, leaving paw prints and scratches on people’s cars, shitting in other people’s gardens, but then when their cat wants to live elsewhere they complain about it and nag the entire neighbourhood into checking their sheds and garages.

Losing a cat is a risk you take when you let it out, and if other people are feeding it, then at least you have the benefit of knowing that your cat isn’t being a nuisance to those particular neighbours.

[quote DobbyTheHouseElk]@icedcoffees

If you are referring to my comment about the cat who was “stolen”. The owner didn’t care and let the thief keep the cat. So maybe the cat was better off. I don’t know.

Reference my DCat. My neighbours are always luring him in. I go round and ask for him back and they laugh and say, but he’s so happy. He’s happy because he’s getting fed constantly with treats. They know he’s well loved and fed. But they like to have lots of cats in the house.[/quote]
No, sorry for the confusion! I was responding to the post from @stayathomer who asked what you do if you know a cat has a home but keeps hanging about anyway - but I see she's clarified that the cat just buggers off when the owners come to get him

@LethargicActress

I’m sorry about your lost cat and hope you find home soon.

The problem is that cat owners want to be able to have it both ways. They want their cats to be able to have their ‘right to roam’, possibly going into other people’s houses, leaving paw prints and scratches on people’s cars, shitting in other people’s gardens, but then when their cat wants to live elsewhere they complain about it and nag the entire neighbourhood into checking their sheds and garages.

Losing a cat is a risk you take when you let it out, and if other people are feeding it, then at least you have the benefit of knowing that your cat isn’t being a nuisance to those particular neighbours.

I do kind of agree with this post, sadly.

If you are going to get a pet and let it roam off your property, you need to accept that you can't control where it goes or what other people do to it.

I know lots of people think it's cruel to keep cats indoors but the flip side of that is you know where your cat is at all times and you know they're safe and not getting into fights or causing issues with the neighbours.

I'm also glad that cat-proof fencing and catios are becoming more popular as I think it gives cats the best of both worlds without all the dangers that come with letting them out to roam.

@LethargicActress

I’m sorry about your lost cat and hope you find home soon.

The problem is that cat owners want to be able to have it both ways. They want their cats to be able to have their ‘right to roam’, possibly going into other people’s houses, leaving paw prints and scratches on people’s cars, shitting in other people’s gardens, but then when their cat wants to live elsewhere they complain about it and nag the entire neighbourhood into checking their sheds and garages.

Losing a cat is a risk you take when you let it out, and if other people are feeding it, then at least you have the benefit of knowing that your cat isn’t being a nuisance to those particular neighbours.

Thank you for your well wishes, but if you dislike cats as you evidently do, I'm not sure reading threads on The Litter Tray is for you.

It came up on active conversations, but I disagree anyway, the litter tray is exactly the place to make the point that cat owners can’t have it both ways.

I don’t actually dislike cats, they are quite cute and can be funny, I dislike cat owners attitudes to the impact they have on neighbours.