Considering Rehoming my 2 Ragdolls - a better life for them?

[OCM19]

I don’t really know where to start with this, I feel very emotional and overwhelmed.

We’ve had our two ragdolls since they were kittens. They’ve always been highly demanding and sooo loving! They want our attention all the time and I just feel like they don’t get the quality of life they need.

Since we had our DS nearly 3 years ago, they are petrified of him and will hid under the bed when he’s around. The female cat has also been weeing on the spare bed and sofa since he’s been born. I thought they may have got better with time, but they haven’t. We’ve tried feliway and a number of other calming things, but they just don’t enjoy being around small children.

We’ve had to put the female cat in a crate overnight as it’s just got too much for me, she kept me up all night but seems happy on the crate. She grinds her teeth day and night (always has) and is sick a lot (vets can’t identify the cause) so it’s a lot of stress during the night!

I just don’t know what to do, they are part of the family but I can’t help but feel they would be so much happier in a quiet home where they can get more attention.

I would NEVER sell them, I would always make sure we go through the proper channels to ensure they found a loving home, but just the thought of giving them away is making me feel sick. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Thanks in advance

Oh gosh. Couldn't read and not reply. I have rag dolls. They are gorgeous but they are much more needy and full on that a regular moggy . They do need their owner so to speak and it sounds like they're not coping at all bless them

There's an amazing group - please contact these guys and do NOT just try to regime on FB or somewhere else. They are experienced with rag dolls and will only rehome to somewhere suitable.

www.ragdoll-rescue.co.uk

I'm not normally of the opinion of rehoming pets simply because a child has come along, but your two really don't sound happy at all. It really would be the kindest thing to do all around - for both them and for you and your son.

@CoastalWave thank you, your post has made me well up, as I just hate they may not be happy! I’ve already found the Ragdoll rescue site and they will be the people I contact in the New Year when they re-open. I just can’t bring myself to do it! We are all they know and I hate the thought of them being with someone else. But I also don’t think it’s fair on them when we may be TTC a second child next year, as it’s just not fair.

Ragdolls certainly are beautiful!

Deep down I suspect you know they're not happy at all. I do know a little how you feel as I have two rag dolls and the second one is currently bullying the first one. IF i don't get it fixed, I may have to rehome one of them , which would break my heard BUT (and this is the big but!!) the main thing is THEIR happiness, not mine. Ragdolls are super sensitive aren't they. I can tell you love them to bits . I would liken this case to having to make the decision to put an animal down - you do it in their best interests even when it breaks your heart in the process.

I know if I adopted from Ragdoll rescue I wouldn't mind sending updates etc to the first owner. Maybe you could find out if they would support in that way? I'm sure if you knew they were happy you would be able to move on KNOWING they were happy.

Cats are pretty placid things anyway. So long as someone is giving them lots of love, I don't believe they will 'miss' an owner as such.

@CoastalWave I'm sorry to hear your two aren't getting on. I do hope you can sort it, as it sounds like they have a very loving home with you!

Yes, I think deep down I've know they would be happier in a quieter home, but the thought of that breaks my heart. The only time my DS is not at home, we are working so it's very hard to give them all the love and attention they deserve when we're on zoom conferences.

I never thought I would be in this position, to me, pets are for life and they truly are part of the family.

My DH's dad LOVES them to bits and recently lost his cat. We've spoken to him about whether he would like to have them as we would then know how loved they would be, but he's petrified they will be run over. I'm hoping, maybe if we tell him we're speaking with the Ragdoll Rescue he might change his mind last minute as I know deep down he wants them...but we can't force it on him.

Thank you again for taking the time to reply, I feel horrendous but know it's probably the right thing to do, for them

@CoastalWave I've just reached out to Ragdoll Rescue and they are going to have a chat with me to discuss the situation - thank you again for being so kind!

Sorry to hear about this, it must be hard.
Is there anything that could be done to catproof your FIL's garden or build a catio? Perhaps you could offer to fund it if he would take the cats, if this is his main concern?

That sounds tough op, I hope you find the resolution that works for you all🥰

They are very needy cats. Our ragdoll is from a rescue and I may have thought twice if I’d had more knowledge of the breed. I’m a first time cat owner. No regrets now, we love her to bits and with 2 essentially adult children and a dh wfh, it works well for us. But she is needy. Demands our time constantly but doesn’t want us too close. She woke us us before 6 yesterday so I could essentially just watch her sleep🤣🤣

Our ragdoll does go out and although I worry about her road safety, she has shown no interest in leaving the garden. If you want your dad to take them could you support him to cat proof his garden or is that not practical?

The right home will be out there for your cats, either way. I hope things improve and you are able to make peace with your decision💕

And you are absolutely right, they are gorgeous cats❤️

I'd say the Ragdoll rescue will help. Such a shame that they can't cope. Sorry this is happening

Does FIL know that Ragdolls can’t be let outside?

Maybe cat proofing your fil garden is the way forward? You know they’re ok and can still see them.

I think you've made the correct choice, OP. I know it's difficult but part of being a responsible pet owner is doing what is best for the animal.

Well it's a horrible decision to have to make ☹ I really feel for you. I'm sure they would be happier and more relaxed and content in a calm, quiet home with no kids. I hope you can find somewhere for them. Don't beat yourself up over it though, you weren't to know this would happen.

Thank you everyone, it’s really made me realise that I have to put their needs first, despite it breaking my heart!

@DontKeepTheFaith they are cheeky like that aren’t they!

I know it’s the kindest thing.

We are going to speak with my FIL again and if not will discuss the situation with Ragdoll Rescue in the new year. In the meantime, I’m going to try and soak up some cuddles and give them copious amounts of treats!

I would try to persuade FIL then to cat proof his garden (or make a catio). Ragdolls definitely cannot be let outside. It's just not safe for them at all.

@DontKeepTheFaith and everyone, thank you for offering your advice. I am pleased to say that, after a long discussion with the FIL, he has agreed to have the cats! I feel very overwhelmed, but know they will have such a better, calm environment to live in!

@OCM19 I'm so pleased for you ☺️

That’s wonderful news. I hope they have a wonderful life with your Dad🥰🤗