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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Elderly Cat

26 replies

Guardsman18 · 01/12/2021 17:02

Can someone help me put my mind at rest please?

We have a cat - not really sure of her age but she has to be 12+ - she found us. Over the last year, maybe 2, her health hasn't been the best.

Any time I took her to the vet she was very distressed and getting her into the cat box was awful for her.

I had this brilliant idea to ring a new vet who comes to the house. He came in the Summer and said she was obviously very unwell but the only way to find out exactly was taking blood. He suggested different food for her and gave her a worm and flea tablet. All good.

Sorry this is a bit long! She has now got worse and although her face is ok, her back is skeletal, she is sick most days and has recently started pooing the most awful stuff in the house.

My ex husband said that if I called the vet then he would pay for the bloods to be taken. Vet came on Tuesday and said that he could take blood but there really isn't any point as he could see quite clearly that she had liver disease and the kindest thing would be for her to be put to sleep.

I explained that I'd have to get kids told first (not that young) and he said not to leave it more than a week - two at the most. We agreed that I would contact him soon.

Then ex gets involved and suggests a second opinion (he'll pay half). He has organized for her to see his mum's cat's vet. It will be me taking her as he has no car at the moment. The whole point of having a vet come to the house was to avoid this and if new vet can miraculously give her medication, it'll be down to me I expect!

Can anyone assure me that if a vet says that a cat needs to be pts, they wouldn't do that unless absolutely necessary? I trust the vet to do what is right (otherwise why bother asking) but ex is making me doubt myself saying things like that could be how vet makes his money etc.

Thanks. I know she's 'just a cat' bt once she's gone that'll be it.

OP posts:
TheSpottedZebra · 01/12/2021 18:03

Oh love, I'm so sorry. It sounds like it is time for you to say goodbye. Don't delay any longer and don't prolong the poor cat's suffering.

A vet would not say that unless it was necessary.
I'm so sorry.

Ninananna · 01/12/2021 18:15

Please let her go. I have had experience of vets keeping animals hanging on for a week or two to make more money. They are businesses with partners who look for big yearly payouts and salaried staff are discretely encouraged to do this. I expect to be shot down for this but nevertheless stand by it.

Lalallama · 01/12/2021 18:19

I’m really sorry your cat is so poorly. Our cat was put to sleep earlier in the year and she was similar at the end - very thin and being sick all the time. It’s a horrible feeling knowing you have to make that decision but it sounds as though it is the right time. The vet wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t necessary.

If, as your ex suggests, the vet was just wanting to make money, they’d make more money prolonging her life. But (I’d hope!) vets wouldn’t think like that - they will advise what is in the animal’s best interest.

halcyondays · 01/12/2021 18:27

I don’t think a vet would suggest putting an animal to sleep unless it was really necessary. They would make more money from keeping them alive and doing tests anyway. Your poor cat does sound very unwell so it’s probably best for you all to say goodbye and have it done as soon as possible.

Kenwouldmixitup · 01/12/2021 18:31

Better a day too early than a day too late. Please do be with her. I get distressed thinking of beloved pets who are left in the care of strangers, however caring, just to protect the human’s feelings.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 01/12/2021 18:32

Please don't delay it. My 20 year old cat had liver disease and I had her PTS right away and was heartbroken, she was my world.
There is no cure and she will be suffering.

Original poster
Guardsman18 · 01/12/2021 18:33

Thank you so much for your kind words. Made me well up.

I agree the he could have taken the bloods to make money so I appreciated that.

I know I have to be strong here. Thanks x

OP posts:
DobbyTheHouseElk · 01/12/2021 18:34

Personally I’d get the vet to come to you and pts. It’s not going to stress DCat or upset her.

I’ve been there and it’s heartbreaking.

Original poster
Guardsman18 · 01/12/2021 18:38

You're right and I'm so glad I posted. The thought of her being put in the cat box, taken somewhere she doesn't know to be told the same thing really upsets me. As you say - it's all to preserve the human's feelings.

Thank you again x

OP posts:
Original poster
Guardsman18 · 01/12/2021 18:45

I'll contact them tomorrow Dobby. The times he's come to the house she isn't distressed at all, just sits in the kitchen.

I do want to be with her and I'd like to think it will comfort her a bit/

OP posts:
DobbyTheHouseElk · 01/12/2021 18:47

It’s heartbreaking saying goodbye to a much loved furry friend. But it is a kindness we can give them. In her own surroundings she will be happy and drift off to sleep, happy loved and warm.

cherrypie66 · 01/12/2021 19:04

Omg let the poor animal go in peace. Do what's right here. No vet would ever say that unless there was nothing they could do. All you are doing is prolonging the agony for the poor animal

MellowMelly · 01/12/2021 19:06

In my experience a vet only says it if they really think it's necessary. My cat is now in palliative care with end stages of kidney disease and the vet has said she will tell me when it's time. I think you all ready know what's right for your cat op Thanks

TheCreamCaker · 01/12/2021 19:21

Aw, that's so sad. Your cat is suffering, though, and is probably older than you think. The vet wouldn't have said about putting her to sleep if there was any hope. Please stay with her and comfort her when the deed is done. Hold her and speak to her, she needs you now. Sorry, been there, done that, several times, and it's never easy Flowers

Original poster
Guardsman18 · 05/12/2021 11:37

Well tomorrow s the day. Vet is coming at 2pm. Ex and son are still harping on about a second opinion which I think is ridiculous. I'll probably be shouted at tomorrow but at least I'll know I did the right thing for her.
Thanks so much for all your kind words. It's really helped me and to be able to talk to my younger son about why she should go now.

OP posts:
Clarich007 · 05/12/2021 13:00

Hi Guardsman.
I think you have made the right decision, especially with the vet coming to the house. That's a nice idea, no stress and surrounded by her peple who love her.
Good luck, hope you're ok, it's heartbreaking, you're doing the right thing 💐💐

Iamanicepersonreally · 05/12/2021 13:04

You're definitely doing the right thing. Thank you for putting her needs first 🌺

Original poster
Guardsman18 · 05/12/2021 13:54

Thank you both. It's so sad isn't it? I may be back tomorrow afternoon when she's gone.

OP posts:
Clarich007 · 05/12/2021 18:51

Very sad, but also a bit of relief too afterwards. I have had 6 cats over the last 40 years, so been there 5 times now. It never gets easier, but I always think that I won't ever have to worry about them ever again. That comforts me.
Be thinking about you tomorrow

Original poster
Guardsman18 · 18/01/2022 14:37

Hi. I don't want to @ anyone but am looking for some advice on the above situation.

Thanks

OP posts:
joydivisionovengloves71 · 18/01/2022 23:20

Did you have your cat put to sleep?

Original poster
Guardsman18 · 19/01/2022 13:24

No I didn't @joydivisionovengloves71. The poor thing is still going. Had an almighty row about how son needed a second opinion.

She is now living at ex's 'until she gets better'. (I know, I know).

After I posted, I rang new vet and asked if they could say (to son and ex) that the kindest thing now would be to let her go. Cat has an appointment tomorrow so fingers crossed, new vet will say what first vet said.

Absolutely ridiculous I know. Poor darling.

OP posts:
GingerFigs · 19/01/2022 14:17

Please do the right thing for your cat. If the vet said (weeks ago!) that it was time to let her go then you are prolonging her misery and making her suffer. I'm sorry but I am going to be harsh with you. Cats are very stoic creatures and will keep going and keep going. If it is a degenerative condition (like kidney disease) she will get progressively worse and it is cruel not to quietly and kindly pts.

Your ex and son are being ridiculous in saying they want a second opinion. I've had many cats over the years, the vet would not say pts lightly, it means there's nothing they can do and they feel she is suffering.

Put the cat first. Take her to the vet and pts. And deal with the ex and son afterwards.

joydivisionovengloves71 · 21/01/2022 19:07

@Guardsman18

No I didn't *@joydivisionovengloves71*. The poor thing is still going. Had an almighty row about how son needed a second opinion.

She is now living at ex's 'until she gets better'. (I know, I know).

After I posted, I rang new vet and asked if they could say (to son and ex) that the kindest thing now would be to let her go. Cat has an appointment tomorrow so fingers crossed, new vet will say what first vet said.

Absolutely ridiculous I know. Poor darling.

Oh that is so sad, that poor cat suffering all this time

I am still upset about having to say goodbye to mine on Monday. Even though she was still asking for food she looked so fed up and had lost more weight. I didn't think twice when they suggested she be PTS there and then, it was the right thing to do

Yoyokitten · 26/01/2022 13:20

That is so selfish. Please do the right thing for your cat!!