Ode to a Panther (sad)

[BibiBlocksberg]

Sad subject but hoping its ok to talk about it a little here as unable to get the words out to anyone in RL.

Had to escort my gorgeous Panther Jake across the bridge last week, aged 15.

He was diagnosed with CKD in May this year and put up a hell of a fight against it but ultimately its a cruel & hideous disease that cannot be cured. His will to live and love remained unbelievably strong until the end.

Buried myself in caring for his remaining brother & work after the initial heartbreak the night that he left but received a condolence card from his vet today (complete w packet of forget me not seeds) which is of course lovely of the practice but has rather brought the grief back full force.

With hindsight, i kept him with me for far too long but really hard while caught up in the dynamic of being ‘mum’ who ought to have been able to fix this for him, like all the other wounds & scrapes he acquired periodically.

So weird to look at pics comparing how he was (muscular bruiser basically) to skin & bones at the end. While the disease was progressing, looking back felt like unnecessary wallowing but again, with hindsight, it would have been better to have realised just how much he’d declined & released him earlier.

Thank you for listening, sorry for the sad essay and please do share stories/pics of your own losses, recent or historic if you feel up to it.

Thank you for a glorious 5 years cheeky Panther, love you always x x Chief Slave & your brother who is also your name twin.

Pic of Mr P in his glory days of course

I’m so sorry for you loss. He obviously had a happy time with you and was much loved

Aw, what a gorgeous boy. I love black cats. His face in that pic is so mischievous, just been caught red-pawed killing those crocs. Hugs to you 🖤

Sorry for your loss .

I was in bits when I received a condolence card from the vets for my pet rat and I cried for ages when I had one from them when Troy passed away from hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. The forget-me-not seeds were also a lovely thought.

What a gorgeous boy! Sorry for your loss, Op.

Lots of sympathy from a fellow panther owner. What a magnificent animal! You clearly did all you could for him.

(I think your name rings a bell from MN many years ago... if so, you are a bit of a legend.)

Hindsight is a marvelous thing. Don't beat yourself up. We don't see the gradual changes so much.
Love the nonchalant cocked ear. He looks like a proper character.

What a handsome cat! You did the best you could for him and I'm sure he knew that. If he still had a will to live then I don't think it was necessarily the wrong thing to do to keep him going until you were both ready to let go. He was a very lucky boy to have you in his life

Thank you all, your replies mean a lot as had just been bottling it all up & plastered on a stiff upper lip before tonight.

On phone so not easy to scroll but to the poster who said he looks cheeky - spot on!

Mr P was a Foster from a cattery i used to work at & initially lived w my neighbour two doors down who desperately wanted a cat to share his life.

Sadly, it turned out he had additional challenges that neither Panthy or I were aware of so came to settle with me in the end.

Having said that, P knew where he wanted to be all along as he would barge in to mine every day, jump on top of the fridge freezer & lay there shouting until his beloved prawns made an appearance (acceptable by hand feeding only of course, tasted horrid from a dish apparently)

In the words of Shirley Valentine, he had me ‘strutting around like R2 bleedin D2’ from the start :)

To to the poster who seems to recognise me from the past -i have indeed been knocking about on these boards for some time though do refute the ‘legend’ label :)

MN did very kindly help me leave an abusive relationship a decade ago now which in turn facilitated my status as single cat lady so perhaps it stems from back then.

Love that the same card & seed gesture was extended to a fellow previous poster & sorry for yours & everyone elses losses.

My belief system leans towards that energy can never die & that Mr P is still around on the other side of ‘the veil’ but sorrow for not being able to see him in the traditional sense nonetheless for now.

Oh he does look very mischievous in that photo. I too lost a 15 year old boy to CKD earlier this year. I didn't even know he was ill, apart from when he suddenly became sick, was taken into vet hospital, and found to have severe CKD. The vet recommended euthanasia and it all happened so fast, he was with us one weekend, and gone the next. I have worried I didn't do enough for him, I just let him go without a fight, but reading your post has made me realise I probably spared him some suffering, even though I paid for it with months of guilt.

I am really sorry your pain is still at the very fresh end of things.

Dumbledorrsgirl what a horrible shock! Once lost one to a heart attack, here one minute gone the next so can relate to the unexpected pain.

Having experienced the horrors of CKD now, I would say you were very courageous & did the right thing to let your boy go when you did.

Not that it ever feels like it at the time of course!

As a PP said, hindsight is a wonderful thing. I look at pictures taken if my girl in the could of weeks before she died. And wonder how I didn't see it. Though she never seemed unwell. I had a lovely card from the cattery and the cardiologist. It will get better OP. You will remember him with a smile in time. Be kind to yourself.

Many thanks & sorry for your loss too.

They really are the ultimate stoics aren’t they, programmed by nature to hide the full extent of their health from everyone.

Case in point, one day some years ago Mr P came home with the end of his tail missing but carried on as if nothing was amiss!

Sorry, did put your name in originally Toddlerteaplease