I adopted 2 cats four years ago, mum and daughter. They've both been largely healthy, but last month the older one (now 13 y.o) suddenly developed a sore paw, so I took her to the vet. The vet didn't identify the cause of the issue, but did note that she seemed to suffer from FORL/tooth resorption.
I was about to travel away with work for a month, so my husband took her to the vet to remove a couple of teeth. She seemed to recover well from her dental treatment, but suddenly a week later she suffered a stroke or seizure. And from there it just went downhill. She largely stopped eating, and a week after the first seizure she had another one, but this time she didn't stop seizuring.
In the end the vet gave us the choice to have her put to sleep or do further tests (he suspected cancer). It was clear that she was not in a good way and we decided the kindest thing was to have her pts rather than having her undergo more tests. Because I was still working abroad, about to return home 2 days later, I asked him if he thought she'd be able to recover enough to spend a few days at home, so I could say goodbye. He was honest with me and said that wouldn't be in the cat's best interests. So we had her put to sleep there and then, my husband in the room, stroking her until the end.
I know it was the right choice but I just feel so incredibly sad. When I last saw her, she just had a minor paw injury. A month later, I've returned home to a house with one cat, not two. And I feel so guilty I wasn't there for her. She got on fine with my husband, but it was clear I was her favourite human. And I wasn't there for her when she died or the weeks leading up to it.
It's only been a few days, but I just can't stop crying. We always had pets at home when I was a kid, but I don't recall ever feeling this sad when they died. I know it needs time, but I'd love to hear from others how you channeled your grief: what did you find helpful?