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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

I’ve got my cat back - how do I keep him and make it work?

38 replies

ProfessorInkling · 17/10/2021 07:59

My beautiful big cat has been missing for ages - taken in by a local woman who I guess he liked because she fed him. I’ve got him back because she eventually took him to the vets and he is chipped.

Vet advises that this woman, lovely and well-intentioned though she may be, does not see why she cannot have him. They said I should keep him in for at least a fortnight because if he goes back I might not see him again. They were very clear about this, she wanted to keep him and was disappointed that he is chipped.

He’s always been an outdoorsy cat though, it’s quiet where we live so have always felt okay with the cat flap open 24/7, I have two other cats as well.

How do I keep him in and make him happy? He was so pleased to see me when I collected him but he does not want to stay in at all. I’m worried he will break through the locked cat flap and that will be that. Any advice would be really welcome.

OP posts:
TheBalletCats · 18/10/2021 13:05

@Veterinari
Novel idea perhaps, but when responding to a thread it helps if you don’t just make up your own version of things.

Do you not think @ProfessorInkling would have mentioned if her cat were one who’s unhappy in a multi-cat household? The cat in question simply likes outdoor time. Like many cats in households of all sizes & configurations.

The woman you’ve characterised as responsible i. has been feeding a cat she had good reason to believe (given the collars he wore) belonged to someone else; ii. failed to take this cat, when she decided to abduct him [because that’s what it was] to the vet to check for a microchip for weeks; & iii. drove with him loose in the car. Had she been caught doing the latter it could have earned her 3-9 points on her Licence. That piece of absolute idiocy was putting at risk not only her life & the life of OP’s cat, but those of every creature they passed on their journey. How anyone who volunteers for a cat rescue could do something so dangerous is utterly baffling.

There is no reason to believe, particularly given the actions detailed above, that the cat chose to stay with OW rather than being shut in there. If she had shut him in, that wouldn’t guarantee his not returning if she’s been ponying up umpteen treats/fresh chicken/daily catnip - to the cat it’s fine, he’s been back to his humans, clearly things can go back to the status quo ante. Clearly I’ve no definitive proof of that, but the fact he’s now perfectly happy in OP’s house in terms of food, feline friends, humans & essentially everything bar being gated, suggests no wish on his part to make a permanent move.

Announcing that OP - & indeed the rest of her family - weren’t actually bonded to one of their cats because his Six Dinner Sid tendencies (Two Teatime Tom?) got him catnapped is a really quite cruel thing to do when she’s had such a stressful time and the assertion is the product of your imagination.

It’s clear OP - & her family - are actually very aware of their cats’ needs (including the fact that how they help their their cats fulfil the higher levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs - I’m not sure how self-actualisation works for a cat, I’m referring to “Esteem” and “Love & Belonging” - needs to be tailored to each cat) & how to meet them.

Do you think Lord Veterinari would have given Wuffles up to Foul Ol’ Ron? The Lord Veterinari who not only left a dog biscuit on Wuffles’ grave every week after his eventual death; but never a yellow one, because Wuffles didn’t like those. In The Truth Wuffles was, after all, in a situation where he could, by your reasoning, have chosen his home. My guess would be scorpion pit time for anyone who tried to keep hold of Wuffles. I’m assuming OP doesn’t have a scorpion pit (but I’m prepared to be told I’m wrong…) but as a general sentiment regarding [attempted] pet theft* it seems reasonable. And indeed just as reasonable - & useful/helpful - as your post to go off on something of a Discworld tangent here, undatisfactory an analogy as it is.

  • Obviously Foul Ol’ Ron et al were not dognappers, but rather were protecting Wuffles.
Veterinari · 18/10/2021 13:12

[quote TheBalletCats]@Veterinari
Novel idea perhaps, but when responding to a thread it helps if you don’t just make up your own version of things.

Do you not think @ProfessorInkling would have mentioned if her cat were one who’s unhappy in a multi-cat household? The cat in question simply likes outdoor time. Like many cats in households of all sizes & configurations.

The woman you’ve characterised as responsible i. has been feeding a cat she had good reason to believe (given the collars he wore) belonged to someone else; ii. failed to take this cat, when she decided to abduct him [because that’s what it was] to the vet to check for a microchip for weeks; & iii. drove with him loose in the car. Had she been caught doing the latter it could have earned her 3-9 points on her Licence. That piece of absolute idiocy was putting at risk not only her life & the life of OP’s cat, but those of every creature they passed on their journey. How anyone who volunteers for a cat rescue could do something so dangerous is utterly baffling.

There is no reason to believe, particularly given the actions detailed above, that the cat chose to stay with OW rather than being shut in there. If she had shut him in, that wouldn’t guarantee his not returning if she’s been ponying up umpteen treats/fresh chicken/daily catnip - to the cat it’s fine, he’s been back to his humans, clearly things can go back to the status quo ante. Clearly I’ve no definitive proof of that, but the fact he’s now perfectly happy in OP’s house in terms of food, feline friends, humans & essentially everything bar being gated, suggests no wish on his part to make a permanent move.

Announcing that OP - & indeed the rest of her family - weren’t actually bonded to one of their cats because his Six Dinner Sid tendencies (Two Teatime Tom?) got him catnapped is a really quite cruel thing to do when she’s had such a stressful time and the assertion is the product of your imagination.

It’s clear OP - & her family - are actually very aware of their cats’ needs (including the fact that how they help their their cats fulfil the higher levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs - I’m not sure how self-actualisation works for a cat, I’m referring to “Esteem” and “Love & Belonging” - needs to be tailored to each cat) & how to meet them.

Do you think Lord Veterinari would have given Wuffles up to Foul Ol’ Ron? The Lord Veterinari who not only left a dog biscuit on Wuffles’ grave every week after his eventual death; but never a yellow one, because Wuffles didn’t like those. In The Truth Wuffles was, after all, in a situation where he could, by your reasoning, have chosen his home. My guess would be scorpion pit time for anyone who tried to keep hold of Wuffles. I’m assuming OP doesn’t have a scorpion pit (but I’m prepared to be told I’m wrong…) but as a general sentiment regarding [attempted] pet theft* it seems reasonable. And indeed just as reasonable - & useful/helpful - as your post to go off on something of a Discworld tangent here, undatisfactory an analogy as it is.

  • Obviously Foul Ol’ Ron et al were not dognappers, but rather were protecting Wuffles.[/quote] Gosh that's a very long and irate post! Interesting how some folks respond to an alternate perspective!

If the situation is as you say, then OP has nothing to worry about does she?
Cat can be let out and will choose to return home.

Neighbour is unlikely too 'imprison' him given that OP knows where she lives and vet has made it clear she cannot keep a cat that isn't hers.

It's a non-issue isn't it?

Veterinari · 18/10/2021 13:14

Sorry - missed the discworld and Maslow references at first scan . My brain tends to filter out irrelevant diatribes Grin

Pudmyboy · 19/10/2021 23:41

I am a bit saddened by the portrayal of the OW going from lovely and well meaning into something quite unpleasant. A friend has been the chosen home of several cats, she prefers aloof cats so gets ones whose original homes were too touchy-feely. She never enticed them or fed them, (until formally acknowledged as The New Home); she is just a cat Svengali. The original owners recognised their cat's choice, and she never kept them locked in so if they wanted to return to their original home they could, but they didn't. I don't think it's all about feeding, sometimes cats just want to be somewhere else.

Pudmyboy · 20/10/2021 06:47

And on another thread here, about what have you done for your cat, someone posted that they let him live with their neighbours as though heartbreaking, he is living his best life....so not all moves are catnapping

Stickytreacle · 20/10/2021 08:06

Okay, so what if the op let this woman keep her cat and a large unexpected vet bill crops up because I'd be pretty certain that many would deny owning the cat if that were to happen.

There are welfare concerns in just allowing a cat to wander off to a new home on a whim.
If a cat is unhappy then you change its environment to improve things, or if rehoming is necessary then you do it properly with relevant checks and transfer of ownership, you can't just relinquish responsibilities to some random individual.

Veterinari · 20/10/2021 08:15

@Stickytreacle

Okay, so what if the op let this woman keep her cat and a large unexpected vet bill crops up because I'd be pretty certain that many would deny owning the cat if that were to happen. There are welfare concerns in just allowing a cat to wander off to a new home on a whim. If a cat is unhappy then you change its environment to improve things, or if rehoming is necessary then you do it properly with relevant checks and transfer of ownership, you can't just relinquish responsibilities to some random individual.
I don't think anyone has suggested letting the cat randomly wander off as a solution Confused

Just that if the cat is making a choice it's worth formalising that change, rather than forcing it to stay

onelittlefrog · 20/10/2021 08:48

Well if he goes missing again you will know where to look first.

Can't believe she thinks it OK to do this.

If she carries on... do you know which cat charity she works for? If so, you could always talk to them about what she has been doing. It would be a last resort but I reckon they wouldn't be too impressed at her stealing cats.

onelittlefrog · 20/10/2021 08:51

But when she did she gave a long lecture about not letting cats out at night. So I don’t want him to show up there late, and her think fuck it she can’t want him that much then

Honestly? Absolutely none of her business and you need to tell her to do one.

It is subjective about whether cats should be kept in at night. Some say yes for safety, others say cats are nocturnal and their instinct is to wander and explore at night, so denying that is unfair.

At the end of the day it's up to you what you do and it's your pet.

She really has no place getting involved at all. Just inform her that if you find your cat missing again you will be coming to her house and will not hesitate to get the police involved. She will almost certainly back off at that.

onelittlefrog · 20/10/2021 08:53

@Pudmyboy

And on another thread here, about what have you done for your cat, someone posted that they let him live with their neighbours as though heartbreaking, he is living his best life....so not all moves are catnapping
That is very sweet but it's also the owner's choice.

At the end of the day this is the whole debate about whether or not cats are property. In the eyes of the law they are and the owner would be well within their rights to get the cat back.

Clymene · 20/10/2021 08:55

I'd report her to the charity. If you find a cat, the first thing you do is see if it's chipped. She's a thief

ProfessorInkling · 22/10/2021 07:04

Thanks again everyone. DCat has had a good week and been mostly happy inside, a few moments of meowing at the door, usually when he needs a poo so obviously he’d much rather do that outside. But he’s happy and relaxed and so are my other two.

However he broke through the cat flap this morning. Snapped it right off. My heart sank, and then the little rascal reappeared through the hole he had made. Hurrah! I will block it off and try for another week before I let him back out though.

It’s not that I think OW is awful, but I have seen my cat several times over the last few months and replaced lost collars - including putting on a collar that says ‘do not need me I have a home’ and it’s taken her until now to take him to the vets. So if she had behaved responsibly i might not have to keep him in like this at all.

I know some cats will just choose another home but he was coming back until she stopped letting him out when her own cat died.

OP posts:
Pudmyboy · 22/10/2021 20:53

I am glad he is setting back home, I take your point about the OW keeping him in, that is not on. Another friend had a cat that was very nervous, this cat had a litter and my friend kept one female, took her to be spayed but she was already up the duff at 6months. Original cat couldn't cope with the new influx of boisterous kittens and gradually started to come back less and less often, in the end just to snatch her food. About 3 months after she finally left, she returned for a visit, saw there were still more cats than she could cope with (3) and just quietly left again. My friend was glad she popped back however briefly as she could see she was obviously well looked after. So that cat left due to unacceptable changes at home. But catnapping (ie not letting the cat choose to return home) is not fair.

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